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Wavy. Ivy-free. Home sweet Butler.

Telling people that you live in Butler inevitably leads to the follow-up question: “New or Old?” Butler used to have a reputation for being the worst res college to live in, with legendarily horrible waffle ceilings, a long trek to central campus and only meh-worthy food. But all that changed in 2009, when Princeton introduced shiny new, well, New Butler.

Bedecked in wavy red brick walls, bright interiors, modern lines and a trendy sustainable green roof, New Butler is not your typical Gothic, ivy-covered Princeton building. Before you waste any time feeling disappointed, though (“Nooo I wanted to live in a castle!” It’s okay, I thought that way too, until I moved in and saw the light), realize what it means to reside in the newest college: air conditioning. No bugs. Leather couches. Flat screen TVs. Many a mirthful moment has been given to us Butlerites, chuckling at our friends in Rocky as they traverse four flights of stairs to get to the bathroom, with nothing but a meager fan waiting in their circulation-void rooms.

“What? No, I’ve never seen a spider or ladybug or ant in my room before! That’s gross… okay sure you can come hide out in our basement, the A/C is super cool and yeah Studio ’34 is still open.”

Bloomberg is similarly cushy. Of course, 1915 is a different story. But we’ll get to that as you read on…

The resumé:

Aerial view.

Aerial view.

Laundry: There are ample washers and dryers in Bloomberg and New Butler. They’re all as new as the building, so everything runs oh so smoothly. Check out the map here for specific locations.

Kitchens: In the New Butler buildings, there are kitchens around almost every corner. They’re small but  effective, with a big fridge, stove, oven, microwave and sink. There’s also a huge dining room with attached kitchen on the ground floor of Bloomberg, which is great if you want to cook a larger meal with a bunch of friends.

Computers: The main computer cluster is in the New Butler basement. There are about ten computers including a media Mac if you’re looking to do anything digital artsy, plus a scanner and a printer.

There’s also a computer cluster on the third floor of Bloomberg. And the printer in Wu Library is convenient when you’re on your way to class and don’t want to go to the basement. But remember to set up your laptop’s printer connection first, because it’s just a printing station, not a full cluster (although you can easily go to the Wilcox side and use J-Street).

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butlerRecognize this? Almost as shocking as the realization that underclassmen were born in the 90′s is the fact that, unless you’re a senior, probably not.

Demolished almost immediately after move-out, this is the building I lived in freshman year (I think) – one of several essentially identical, essentially repulsive, dormitories that made up Old Butler. Back in the day,  before Butler had its own convenience store and helipad, and when it was still cool (lie) to hop the fence into the Whitman construction site on the way to the Wa, this is what down-campus looked like.

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Look at you guys! So carefree! Well, for the moment

Look at you guys! So carefree! Well, for the moment

Ah, Frosh Week. A bright spot in the lives of all Princeton students, the sweet collective calm before the furious academic storm of a school year. I see it now: brightly-clad freshmen wandering across campus in gaggles of eight, collectively lost despite three maps in hand; disheveled 20-somethings handing me overpriced textbooks in the basement of Labyrinth; students panting as they lug ratty couches up stairs in the God-forsaken humidity. But there really is something special in those bright and early days of a new school year, and it’s not just the wild abandon of freshmen getting drunk on the possibilities of college (and Beast, baby!).

It’s not, however, all straight-up good times for freshmen. We here at The Ink feel for you (we were freshmen once, can you imagine?) and decided to lay out some tips for new students. We know the opening week of college can be a difficult period: first time away from home, eternal awkward silences during your RCA meetings, your roommate kind of smells, what is this strangely Nazi-like salute everyone does while singing, you’re not a freshman girl so it’s impossible to get a beer anywhere.

To make transition to college a little easier, we’ve compiled a couple of tips and pointers to help you get through it all and come out on top. Not of your quintile, though; that’s pretty much impossible.

So here it is: The Ink‘s Freshman Guide to Princeton* (A three-part series).

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butlerMuch like its students–many of whom are finished with their totally awesome life-changing (important), lucrative (really important), resume-enhancing (most important) internships at McBainMorganWater & Sachs of America Madoff, Inc.–Old Nassau, it seems, is sort of vegging out the rest of August. You see, nothing crazy or absurd occurred this past week.

But still, there were some gems, including a Princeton alumnus who funneled beers with Stephen Colbert on Monday’s Colbert Report! Ch-ch-check it out!:

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Glamorized depictions of the new Butler dorms often leave out these more seedy images:

Especially noteworthy is the fact that a blockade of a primary Scully entrance has led many residents to resort to maneuvering through this narrow passage in order to save a few steps on the way home:

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