Not quite as cute as these.

Biannually, the Princeton University campus is overrun by a unique organism. Here are some salient facts:

Lifespan: Generally between April 1 – May 1.

Habitat: Maybe here for the next four years. Maybe not.

Status: Endangered. Due to intense intraspecies competition, only 8.18% even make it to this phase of life.

Diet: Dining hall food that’s seemingly a lot more delicious these two weeks than the rest of the year.

Predators: Um. I guess.

I speak, of course, of the elusive prefrosh (Adolescens hyperambitionis).

Often spotted in loyal packs of 5 or 6, not unlike other similar species, these fascinating creatures can be easily identified by their characteristic orange plumage, otherwise known as orange lanyard. Although some coyly tuck them into pockets in a misguided attempt at camouflage, their other telltale traits give them away: shrill mating calls of SAT scores and peer school comparisons, adorably vapid facial expressions (often a product of being hopelessly lost), snouts buried in trusty Preview packets, and the aforementioned  herd mentality. I know all this because I braved a weekend among them circa 2009. (Well, I was one of them.)

They are generally gentle and vulnerable creatures. (Except for one scoundrel my friend caught in the act of lighting posters on fire!!!) So if you come across them, be sure to extend a friendly hand in the name of science. I identified a lost trio — like I said, it’s never hard to tell — and shepherded them to their destination.

I felt like I was taking baby turtle hatchlings back to sea.

(image source: http://i32.tinypic.com/2helcnp.jpg)