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“Charter Club”

jknutsonRISKY BUSINESS: CHARTER PREZ JUSTIN KNUTSON ’11  LIKES TO MASTICATE UNDER THE MAGNOLIAS

Name: Justin Knutson
Age: 20
Major: Chemistry
Hometown: Orting, Washington
Eating Club/Residential College/Affiliation: Charter Club

Who’s your favorite Princetonian, living or dead, real or fictional?
Either Joel Goodson, Tom Cruise’s character from the 1983 film Risky Business or General David Petraeus of the United States Army; I’d like to think my personality falls somewhere in between those two

What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in Princeton?
Formals dinner at Charter, Spring, 2009

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?
Generally I sleep; nights are another story

What is your greatest guilty pleasure?
80s Music

What’s the last student performance you saw?
John Veras laying down phat beats at Terrace

Do you know all the words to Old Nassau?
Yes

What is your biggest fear?

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In his first major endorsement as USG President, Michael Yaroshefsky ’12 emailed the student body today to express his strong support for the Princeton Charter Club.

The announcement appeared at the bottom of a seemingly unrelated communication announcing a new student life survey.  Somewhat curiously, Yaroshefsky’s endorsement was written in invisible ink, and only became visible after this reporter highlighted the entire field of text:

yaro

What, you may ask, is this organization with which Yaroshefsky has so emphatically cast his lot?  According to its official website, Charter, one of Princeton University’s ten storied “Eating Clubs,” is “a place to relax and be among friends; it is clean and comfortable; it provides good food and a pleasant social atmosphere.”

In the past, USG executives have often shied away from such formal (and emphatic) endorsements.  Last year, a political scandal erupted after then-President Josh Weinstein ’09 incorrectly implied in an email that President-elect Connor Diemand-Yauman ’10 supported Vice Presidential candidate Mike Weinberg ’11 in Weinberg’s race against Nick DiBerardino ’11.

It’s currently unclear whether today’s endorsement will provoke a similar firestorm.

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(Clothed) amateur sketch of Princetons latest public enemy

(Clothed) artist rendering of Princeton's latest public enemy

Well I think this pretty much makes Princeton the public masturbation/genital exposure capital of the Ivy League: Gary Nuttall, Public Safety supervisor, sent out an email to the University community this afternoon detailing the “act of lewdness” that occurred on Monday. The suspect in question exposed his genitals out on Prospect around 9:30 p.m. and is described as a “middle aged white male, grayish-brown hair with a protruding stomach.  The male was not wearing a shirt and had an article of clothing in his hand.”

Shockingly, that sounds like half the professors I’ve had at Princeton. But let’s move on.

There is a question burning in my mind, however, and that is, while he was described as “not wearing a shirt,” did he have pants on? And what article of clothing was he holding? Perhaps his shirt? Just why was he compelled to take off his shirt? Does he prefer the wind rolling across his chest as he commits such acts? Only time (and an arrest) can tell.

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