… and hide the pre-frosh, because this guy’s creeping on everybody out here.
According to Public Safety’s recent email, a 68-year-old man named Tony A. Kadyhrob is stalking New Jersey college campuses for young girls (ages 18-30) after recently being released on bail for attempting to grab a student at Rider University. He was then stopped at The College of New Jersey, and apparently told the cops that he’s been trolling NJ campuses for over a month, including Princeton University.
Oh. my. god. what.
In addition to looking like the love child of Christopher Walken and Adolf Hitler, here are a few things you need to know about Tony Kadyhrob:
- He used to drive a white Oldsmobile sedan with racing stripes, now officially known as the (Scary)Old(Man)sMobile. This vehicle was confiscated.
- He now drives a rented red Toyota Yaris (ScaryOldMansMobile 2.0).
- His fashion sense: gray beret, jeans, pointed brown boots and dyed mustache.
- His uncanny ability to act like the persona in the Lonely Island music video, “The Creep.”
While it’s easy to freak out over a face like that (the infamous campus masturbator has nothing on this guy), Princeton’s Public Safety has received no reports of Kadyhrob ever being spotted on campus. Still, if I hear any cowbell on my way to class, I am running away as fast as I can.
UPDATE 4/6/11: Princeton Borough Police detained and released Kadyhrob this morning on Wiggins Street. Anyone got a can of pepper spray I can borrow?