Nothing ever happens in Princeton? With the tale of the U-Store employee accused of engaging in prostitution after hours spreading like wildfire comes the release of the University’s annual security report. Here are some highlights:

There were 30 instances of “burglary,” 16 “forcible sex offenses,” one “aggravated assault,” four “drug abuse violation arrests,” and three cases of “illegal weapons possession judicial referrals” on the main campus in 2011.

Regarding the fire reports (in undergraduate and graduate buildings), there were 16 fires in 2011, some of which were “fires in a trash can” (3), “burnt food in a microwave” (3), and, my favorite, “paper towels in an oven” in Joline. Good thing there wasn’t a question about combustion on the Princeton college app…

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