After yesterday’s gluttonous shenanigans, are you beginning to question the likelihood of you hanging with Jesus in the afterlife?
Well, wonder no more.
Yesterday afternoon, Chuck–a deacon for many years–stood on Nassau Street between Witherspoon and Washington, giving out free “Heaven Tests.” Intrigued?
So was I.
Here is the conversation that I had with Chuck.
L: Hi! Am I going to Heaven?
C: Well, you have to take the Heaven Test.
L: What is the Heaven Test?
C: It’s just a two question test. The first question is: If you were to die today, are you 100% sure that you are a true follower of Christ? The second question is: why do you think so?
L: What if you’re not 100% sure?
C: We’ve all messed up millions of times. The 10 Commandments show that nobody’s perfect.
L: True life. So, why are you in Princeton?
C: Well, if I stood on a street corner in my hometown, you could shoot a bullet and not hit anybody. It’s very isolated.
L: Oh, so hitting the heavy traffic on a nice day. I hear ya.
C: Yep. I was also at Rutgers the other day. They stole three of our signs.
And so our conversation went on, through Ezekiel, Isaiah and some other interesting-sounding books of the Bible, and then I was saying goodbye. I was still kind of confused, though, about my Heaven prospects (I’m Jewish so I’m technically not a follower of Christ, but he didn’t say explicitly “No Laurens Allowed in the Heaven Club!”) Hm.
So, AM I going to Heaven? I dunno. But maybe the Princeton Psychic will.
“If I stood on a street corner in my hometown, you could shoot a bullet and not hit anybody. It’s very isolated.”
This is poor writing. I’m surprised she’s in the Press Club.
First, the subjects should match here. Either, “”If I stood on a street corner in my hometown, I could shoot a bullet and not hit anybody;” or “If you stood on a street corner in my hometown, you could shoot a bullet and not hit anybody.”
Second, not hitting anyone when you shoot a bullet does not show that the place is isolated. Isolation refers to the relationship between the town and other towns, not the conditions within it. Instead, the example suggests that there aren’t many people around. That may also be true, but “it’s isolated” is a non-sequitur.
’12,
It’s a quote. So she transcribed the quote to maintain the original wording, grammatical flaws and all, which you’re journalistically supposed to do.
Nice try!