5:00 PM – McCosh
I am a boy with a quesadilla, and I am happy.
Congratulations on surviving Dean’s Date! You are amazing. I salute you. Go outside, breathe in the fresh air, eat that Taco Bell, and remember what life’s all about.
4:01 PM— Stephens Fitness Center
A student was just spotted multi-tasking in the cardio section of Stephens Fitness Center. Here is the video:
In the video, the student appears to read and occasionally take notes while walking at an exceedingly slow pace on a treadmill. After the workout, he cracks open a well-deserved Diet Coke.
A female gym-goer was able to identify the student as Max Parsons ’20 by his low stamina.
Parsons later confirmed that it was him. He also confirmed that he reached a top speed of 1.1 miles per hour and that he feels extremely unprepared for his upcoming Math 175 exam.
Wish him luck!
3:30 PM – Frist
Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. (In other words, Steal His Style.)
One can only dream.
1:15 PM – Safari through campus
It’s time for the obligatory installment of Safari Through Campus (5.0?).
We asked various students across campus what the last thing they googled on their phones was.
Here are the results, in no particular order:
How to retire at 40
Melatonin and caffeine
The price of sunscreen in Turks and Caicos
Wet cement video
New Mormon prophet
Rambutan lychee difference
Average sex per year
Am I a pretty girl
-EA & FRB
12:52 PM – my bed
If I had to see this upon waking up this morning (this afternoon), you do, too:[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3aGdQ4_71c[/embed]
12:07 PM – Holder basement
Found this little nugget on a table in Holder basement last night and haven’t been able to stop thinking about snow since.
Specifically, I keep hoping for a snowstorm to come within the next 5 hours. Are extensions granted if it snows enough? Unfortunately, Snow Day Calculator predictions have gone down since I last checked.
But AccuWeather seems to think that snow is still to come.
Regardless of whether it actually snows, Princeton has had a lot of great snowfalls in the past. According to the Class of 1896’s History of the Class of ’96, snowball fights were a common occurrence on campus. Here’s an excerpt of their battle plans from their freshman year:
Fighting stopped before exams, obviously. Fun fact: if you remember from SJ’s previous post, the Honor Code was established in 1893, which was when the Class of 1896 were freshmen. Here’s 1896’s take on the honor system.
And here’s a picture of the Class of 1896 during freshman year. This was the largest class at the time, at a whopping 303 students.
I’ll leave you with this excerpt. Some things just never change.
11:32 AM – Princeton-bound
Now that it’s officially Dean’s Date, January 16th, 2018, it only seems right that we take a second to remember what has happened on this day in non-Princeton-related history. It’s never a bad time to brush up on your country’s history!!!
This History Chanel website is pretty helpful, and even provides a “Lead Story” from the January 16th’s of the past: 99 years ago the 18th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution was ratified, making the sale of “intoxicating liquors” illegal and ushering in the Prohibition Era.
In short: if you can think of a strange, convoluted conspiracy theory that connects Dean’s Date (or post-Dean’s Date celebrations) with Prohibition, I’d love to hear it. I’m too tired to think of one right now.
11:14 AM – Imagining a life before listservs
Pablo Picasso once said, “Everything you can imagine is real.”
As often as we complain about the constant influx of campus emails for boba study breaks and Princeton University Weekend Web Special – Super Soft League Short Sleeve Tees Now $19.99!, I ask you to imagine a life without them.
Sorry Picasso, but whether you can imagine it or not, it’s real. And here’s what it looked like:
1. Club events with cool gadgets like “the big screen TV” and a party themed “Lost in the Supermarket” (?)
2. Study breaks with munchies and “maybe a little Heine”
3. Double entendre U store ads that mix promotional content with a poetic rendition of Princeton’s strive towards public betterment (informal motto amended Oct. 2016):
4. A search for that special someone
Can you imagine having to read the Prince every time you just wanted to do something fun?
10:13 AM – Firestone
Here is this morning’s trash haul on the third floor of Firestone–mostly Starbucks and Small World. It has been a long week.
If I could calculate the number of coffee cups in there by sampling the visible layer of refuse, I could have become an engineer, and I wouldn’t be writing papers right now.
9:48 AM – Scully
2:49 AM – Campbell Hall, feeling Firestoned out
Earlier today, I discovered that the third floor reading room in Firestone is named after a certain William Elfers from the Class of 1941. A quick search led me to the Princeton Alumni Weekly website, where I found his obituary:[caption id="attachment_19479" align="aligncenter" width="579"] Link: https://paw.princeton.edu/memorial/william-elfers-%E2%80%9941[/caption]
…along with those of his classmates. I randomly clicked on the obituary of Harvey Norman Lothringer ’41, who I soon discovered was fondly called ‘Clapper’. Why? For “having managed to take the clapper from the clock on Nassau Hall”.
Uh. What even is a clapper?
Another Google search led me to this gem of a website, one of the pages of which lists a whole bunch of past and present Princeton traditions. It turns out that ‘clapper theft’ — stealing the bell clapper in Nassau Hall — was a pretty frequent phenomenon up until it was permanently removed in 1992 (someone fell 40 feet trying to steal the thing).
Here you can find a list of other wacky traditions. You know. If you have nothing else to do…
2:13 AM – 48 Uni
After all the Dean’s Date papers are turned in tomorrow (today?), the student group that organizes the Lawnparties concerts in the fall and spring will throw a concert with Gryffin, a New York-based DJ. A “multi-instrumentalist and producer,” according to his website, Gryffin began remixing songs during his time at the University of Southern California.
Just last week, Gryffin released a set of six new remixes to “Nobody Compares to You,” which he originally released with Katie Pearlman last fall. He also announced that he will be playing at Bonnaroo this summer.
Here is one of the remixes, uploaded to YouTube just a couple days ago:
The concert will be from 10PM – 1AM in Dillon Gym, according to the Facebook event, which can be found here.
1:46 AM – Rockefeller College
While most of us are scared about not meeting that 5 PM deadline later today, my friend NP ’20 had a scare of a different sorts yesterday afternoon.
He was working on his Dean’s Date paper when he had the following text exchange with a random number:
Shortly after this exchange, at around 4:23 PM, NP got a call from a Kentucky phone number.
You see, NP doesn’t know anyone from Kentucky.
But NP picked up the phone anyway.
“Hey, it’s Ashley,” said a loud voice on the other line.
NP didn’t recognize the voice, so NP replied in the only way he knew he could.
“Hey Ashley, I think you have the wrong numb—”
“Hey I’m looking for my baby daddy Marquis!” Ashley interrupted.
“I can assure you I am not your baby daddy,” NP replied.
There was a brief pause.
“Well if you run into him, please let him know, I’m looking for him” Ashley said before NP hung up.
Reflecting on the experience more recently, NP is glad to have avoided unexpected fatherhood on the eve of Dean’s Date.
“It was going to be pretty crushing if I found out I was a dad on Dean’s Date,” he said.
“I probably would’ve had to ask my DSL for an extension.”
P.S. – If Marquis is reading this, please let Ashley know about the kids.
1:25 AM – The TARDIS
…the Princeton Fire Department elected 18-year-old Hannah Rodweller (top row, third from right) as its first female member (1975)
1:01 AM – Outside Dillon Gym
Dillon Gym closed at 6PM this evening for Martin Luther King Jr. Day. But not everyone knew that.
Your loyal (and gloveless) correspondent stood in front of the upper entrance for twenty minutes counting how many would-be gym goers set aside work and weathered freezing temperatures en route to Dillon–only to find the door locked.
The answer? Eight.
Some students had planned to exercise as a well-deserved study break.
“I need to do something physical!” exclaimed Eli Gramajo ’19, who had hoped to hit the gym after a full day of work.
But for others, exercise would have served as a cover for debilitating procrastinationism.
“I’m almost done with my paper, but not quite,” lamented Caden Laribee ’21, who came with two friends to play basketball.
“I definitely have not done an adequate amount of work, so I’m just trying to hide myself from that,” explained another student who works out to escape his problems.
Of all nights for the gym to close early, Dean’s Date Eve is a particularly horrible one. At 5PM this afternoon, the line for a treadmill at the Stephens Fitness Center grew to five students long.
While traffic had undoubtedly slowed by late evening, surely dozens more students met the same fate as Gramajo and Laribee. Send warm thoughts to them. Also to my hands, which, after 20+ minutes of gloveless note taking, are this color:
12: 20 AM – A comically empty room in Cap & Gown
Well hello… it’s officially Dean’s Date, as this trusty website informs me: http://isitdeansdate.com/
But did you also know that it’s the 205th anniversary of a historic instance of Princeton students finessing the administration?
According to the Mudd Manuscript Library, on January 16, 1813–Students successfully petition the faculty “to be allowed this day as a holy day [sic], for the purpose of spending it in the amusement of sleighing.”
I’d like to thank Dean’s Date for preventing me from celebrating this “holy day” to its fullest.
I won’t be slaying [sic] anytime soon.
12:07 AM – Poler’s Recess
If you’re still writing, chances are you would have been called a “Poler” a hundred years ago (or maybe just a procrastinator, depending). That was the campus word for someone who works hard, according to this Princeton archives post. Apparently today that term is “Grinder” according to the same post, which puts its legitimacy in question. Maybe they were referring to “on the grind?” The Princeton archives team must not get out much.
Anyway, instead of the Holder Howl, they had the Poler’s Recess, a 10-minute noise-making break every evening at 9 p.m. Students fired blanks from pistols, blew horns and banged on pans.
The Polers in action:
11:54 PM – lost in the weeds of my own caffeinated mind
A Princeton student as they spot a logical hole in their argument, but decide to continue writing regardless:
11:16 PM – displaced student in Raleigh, NC
Need an icon to dump all your academic frustrations onto? A figurehead to lead you through this dark, cold night? A symbol for the hope that awaits on the other side? A symbol for the frustration that accompanies the journey? An attractive idol whose decision-making has been and will be available for ruthless scrutiny?
Try this. Young Christopher Eisgruber. Maybe print him out, put up some candles.
(P.S. Unashamedly just googled “chris eisgruber young”… Shoutout to this Nass article that includes these exact words.)
10:27 PM – Campbell Hall
Happy Dean’s Date Eve! Take some time to read something that’s probably way more interesting than whatever you’re reading right now.
Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day and this holiday often comes and goes at Princeton every year while everyone is caught up with finals.
But to all of you writing Dean’s Date papers in Chancellor Green Library…did you know Dr. King once stood on the steps a few feet away from you???
Take a look:
(Courtesy of the John N. McConnel Jr. ’61. Historical Photograph Collection at Mudd Manuscript Library)
According to the Mudd Manuscript Library Blog, Dr. King visited campus in 1960 and 1962.
Not everyone, however, was happy about the visit.
In January 1960, the Daily Princetonian reported that some Southern alumni were less than pleased that their alma mater had invited a “revolutionary” to speak on campus:
To the credit of the University administrators, the lecture proceeded as planned. The DP reported later that year that Dr. King spoke for hours to a packed crowd in the University Chapel:
Check out more info about Dr. King’s visits at the Mudd Manuscript Library Blog!
9:26 PM – Frist Campus Center
The Princeton University Band just passed through Frist on its semi-annual Dean’s Date Eve tour.
Every Dean’s Date Eve, band members devote an hour to cheering up (and sometimes annoying) students in the throes of mass essay-writing. Just now, about forty band members played “Rock Lobster” as they milled through a crowd of students talking, eating and studying on Frist’s lower level.
“It felt quite surreal,” said spectator Sam Hibbs, a foreign exchange student.
“It was well-done,” agreed Maham Abbas, another first-time spectator. “Clearly a lot of effort put into it.”
According to drillmaster Abelardo Cruz ’20, the band is heading to J-Street next. Later, they’ll make their way up to Marquand and Firestone. Heads up!
9:08 PM – Deep into the Memes Page
Thoughts to prioritize as finals approach. Stay strong, Princeton.
8:40 PM – the Met
Pablo Picasso once said, “Painting is a blind man’s profession. He paints not what he sees, but what he feels, what he tells himself about what he has seen.”
So I ask you, while looking at these portraits of our esteemed faculty & administrators and the famous works which they resemble, to look beyond what you merely see but what you feel.
“Painting from nature is not copying the object; it is realizing one’s sensations.” – Paul Cezanne
-FRB & SJ
8:36 PM – Aiken Ave.
“Academia is just bad writing” 2.0 (title inspired by SJ ’20)
Last Dean’s Date Eve, I ventured out to find the most convoluted, pedagogic, jargon-filled sentences written on this infamous day–a day on which nearly every student is right-clicking in Microsoft Word to find synonyms for “bad,” “good” and “very.”
I’ve returned once more and Princeton’s pretentious academia did not disappoint:
“The neoliberal compulsion to govern oneself through conscious yet constant consumption overlays the construction of white bodies, specifically white female bodies, as the most fit vessel for this ethic.” -SJ ‘20
“It is a subliminal experience that begins by looking within, that estranges the quotidian vessel—the body—through which humans experience the world.” -MY ‘19
“Perhaps the novel is attempting to challenge the reader in the same way that the characters in the book are being challenged.” -FRB ‘19
“By using sanity in this manner, Wolf is reiterating her titular theme that one can never be morally ignorant and morally reprehensible at the same time.” -PR ‘20
“The position of inheritance in religious theories offers reconciliation between intellectuality and embodiment, but it by no means mitigates the desire to justify belief through empirical reasoning.” -SJ ‘20
And, for fun, a few sentences from a notorious alum…
“What I mean by digital phantasmagoria is a reification of the capitalist framework through digital interfaces.” -KC ’17
“This interpenetration between future and past is further emphasized with the rhyme scheme.” -KC ‘17
Finally, perhaps the most pretentious of them all:
“This paper represents my own work in accordance with University regulations.” -JS ‘18
8:08 PM – The Cave, Baker Hall
Looking for a good laugh as your dinner digests? Start with Jimmy Fallon’s interview with Cardi B.
Yes, Jimmy cycles through his usual gig of congratulations, questions about her name, and “Bodak Yellow” accolades, but it is Cardi B who steals the limelight.
Listen for animal noises to make when you’ve run out of words in the English language. Oh, and as Jimmy shows us, when in doubt, dip down for a swig of coffee!
7:55 PM – Guyot Hall/Jurassic Period
ATTENTION, NERDS/CHILDREN: There is a dinosaur (skeleton) in the lobby of Guyot Hall
This is a real-life (now-dead) Allosaurus, according to the sign next to the skeleton. An expedition of Princeton professors and students unearthed the beast in the Utah desert during 1941.
Allosaurus was a carnivore. These dinosaurs would eat other dinosaurs!
A friendly Geo major, CR ’20, complained that a front claw is missing–he has heard that it was stolen.
Even without the missing claw, this dinosaur is still pretty incredible. Its large fangs were around eye-level, and I was pretty scared.
CR was less talkative when asked if the skeleton would come alive to fight off Nassau Hall’s enemies, like the statues in Harry Potter: “I can neither confirm nor deny.”
7:05 PM – comfy futon, Holder 63
Pick your poison and understand the science behind it:[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foLf5Bi9qXs[/embed]
6:22 PM – comfy futon, Holder 63
In 23 hours, when you slap an ending on the last of your Dean’s Date papers and head to Princeton Panda to find a copy of the Honor Code, remember that you aren’t alone in asking, “Why?” The short answer is, on January 13, 1893, Princeton students were worried about widespread cheating and called for an honor system to uphold the value of their education.
Since then, the honor code hasn’t changed much. In celebration of this hallowed day, here’s some honor code memorabilia to provide some context on this strange tradition, that somehow refuses to budge despite students forming a three-fourths majority:
- A 1938 version of the honor pledge that reads: “I pledge my honor as a gentleman that, during this examination, I have neither given nor received assistance.” (Source: Mudd Library Blog). We had to change the phrasing because millennials are killing EVERYTHING, including gentlemen.
- In 2013, American literature staple and living legend Joyce Carol Oates wanted to know if it is “morally difficult” to attend an honor code university. Now that I’ve taken Practical Ethics with Peter Singer, I finally understand this question.
- Joyce isn’t the only one wondering, though. According to several New York Times articles, students and alumni have attempted to ask “Why?” when dealing with the honor code. Alas, the honor code has kept on, remaining mostly unchanged.
- Finally, this gem of an email earns a spot in the Honor Code Hall of Fame. Now that a friendly acquaintance of mine has taken Civil Liberties with Robbie George, I can ask, “What is democracy?”
5:41 PM – Chancellor Green Cafe
As you scramble to finish revising your Dean’s Date papers, don’t forget to include your good (125-year-) old Honor Code pledge, as per Article II of Rules, Rights, and Responsibilities.
In case you were wondering where the image on the cover of the 2017 edition was taken on campus, I scoured Google Maps to find the answer.
5:20 PM – a very isolated cubicle in Firestone
Exhibit A: An Homage to Friendship and Struggle, as Portrayed on Dean’s Date Eve 2018
It happens to the best of us. Meanwhile, what are friends???
5:00 PM – Firestone
Rev up your Powerbooks and take in that sweet smell of Otis Spunkmeyer(?) cookies, Dean’s Date is only 24 hours away. Whether you’re nervous for your first Date or you’ve graduated to splitting the check, we are here to lend a helping hand. Hard news, hard deadlines, hard drives.
Button up your plaid, it’s crunch time.