So, rooming is a-looming. And with it, all the requisite Machiavellian maneuvering and general confusion. If you are like me — an uninitiated freshman, with an excuse for not understanding what’s going on — you might find this guide useful. Or, if you are not like me, and are just a forgetful upperclassman, you may also find this useful. Or, if you simply enjoy engaging in predetermined conversation with snarky JPEGs, you too may find this useful (and delightful).
There are a lot of things at Princeton that make students here feel warm and fuzzy. Late meal, for example. Free t-shirts. Professors who give out lots of A’s (grade inflation be damned) and a cell phone number with the casual “Call me if you have a question.” But despite the Princeton preoccupation with rating everything from courses to restaurants to campus sex hotspots (watch for the recent Prince survey for a comprehensive list), there exists no formal rating of the warmest, fuzziest parts of our lives: our libraries, each with a reputation as distinct as those of our beloved eating clubs.
Until we get a properly quantitative survey, you’ll just have to rely on random journalists’ views on the subject (The Press: telling Americans what to think since 1701!). The Prince shared their opinion earlier this year; now, in honor of Reading Period, we at Press Club decided to give our own take.
So here goes.
Lewis Library
A library with a range of study environments, from the “tree house” to the Egg chairs (which, contrary to popular belief, have not yet been proven to cast grade-enhancing spells or whisper sweet, intellectual nothings in sitters’ ears, despite their exorbitant cost). Although, speaking of whispering — people are starting to take the “silent zone” thing really seriously in the tree house; I’ve gotten dirty looks twice for merely sneezing in the place.
Marquand
Clearly the library in which to see and be seen. With those wall-to-wall windows and that nightly glow, Marquand is designed to lure unsuspecting students inside, like an exhibitionist moth to a flame. It is also, apparently, a breeding ground for such meaningful romantic (missed) connections as these:
from Freefoto.com
Maybe you’ve heard about the snow storm moving up the northeast corrider–the one that made Obama race home dramatically from Copenhagen! From the Times:
Winter storm warnings were in effect from Tennessee and North Carolina to the southern New England states, and the storm was expected to affect Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia and other cities. A blizzard warning was in effect for Long Island.
The National Weather Service said travel conditions in those areas would be “extremely treacherous” by Saturday morning.
We’re pretty sure it’s not going to be like last year’s Blizzard That Never Was. We know a lot of Princetonians live on the Atlantic coast and are driving home tomorrow, so we’ve compiled some tips on how to stay safe on the trip home.
George Kennan... after the jump
Year in and year out, my strategy for gift-giving (holiday, birthday, or otherwise) can be boiled down to one word: scarves. Whenever I’m traveling, I make sure to visit a local market and buy up a dozen or so pieces of the inexpensive local neckwear. Come December, I pass them out like candy.
You just can’t go wrong: foreign scarves are cheap, guaranteed to fit, appropriate for both guys and girls, and tinged with a perfect hint of exoticism / name-drop-y pretentiousness that’s sure to thrill any Princetonian worth his salt (“Oh, do you like it? A friend actually bought it for me on the streets of Zanzibar…).
But this year I was forced to resort to other measures after discovering that my scarf stash had become misplaced somewhere between Phnom Penh and Wilmington, Delaware. This year I was forced to buy my Hannukah presents in Princeton, New Jersey.
Ugh, Princeton. Adorably perfect town, to be sure — but a little too perfect, don’t you think? A little too “tasteful”. In shopping terms, as you know, “tasteful” basically translates to “expensive”, “handsome”, and “old people-y.” As I made my way from cute little store to cute little store, I saw plenty of great gifts for my grandma’s upcoming birthday blowout (Happy 75th, MomMom!) and my great-aunt’s Boca Raton housewarming soirée — but very little in the way of options for my twentysomething friends.
If I knew anything about music, of course, I would have just beelined for the Record Exchange. Sadly, though, I possess, like, negative musical taste (#1 most played on iTunes? This song.) So instead I trundled sadly down Nassau Street, frustration mounting… until I discovered GlenEcho Books.
Kelvin Kay, en:user:kkmd
Ah, the wonders of the holiday season: a tree in Palmer Square that’s approximately ten trillion feet tall, a barrage of simply lovely end-of-term assignments, and, of course, the eternal quest for some cute Inkblot to kiss under the mistletoe. Never fear, Tigers! Former USG President Josh Weinstein ’09 has the site for you.
Goodcrush.com, which Weinstein started earlier this year (with some start-up help from Joseph Perla ‘09), provides Princeton’s resident lonely-hearts with a prime chance to rhapsodize about all their geeky missed connections, and, with luck, connect with that soul mate who looked oh-so-suave sitting in Lewis Library at 2AM.
image source: dailyradar.com
Have an insatiable desire for Robert Pattinson that you can’t express within the confines of Princeton’s academic setting? There’s no need to hide it anymore! Many Princeton professors are turning to mainstream movies, books, and music to create their syllabi. Here’s a list of some spring semester highlights:
1) COM372: The Gothic Tradition
Interspersed with Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey and Edgar Allen Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher are Stephanie Meyer’s Twlight and Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire. You’ll get to examine the “persistence in contemporary culture” of these popular vampire stories.
All right, Princetonians. You’ve committed to a career in Reality TV. And you’ve figured out your Ivy League stereotype. You’re so close now – so very close to pseudosuperstardom.
Take a deep breath, swallow your pride, and get ready for…
Part 3: Choose A Show
There are two types of Reality shows: those that celebrate and reward genuine talent (Project Runway, Top Chef, American Idol) and those that don’t (everything else). Now, if you’re gifted enough to land yourself a spot on one of the “talent-rewarding” shows, you’re probably also gifted enough to land yourself a real job. And if that’s the case, you’re probably not reading this blog post.
Sorry, darling Inkblots. [As in, readers of The Ink -- Is that cute? Does it work?] But the truth is that your best shot lies in auditioning for the second group of shows – those that take supposedly “ordinary” Americans (plus some Ivy Leaguers!) and places them in highly contrived, “extraordinary” situations.
So which program will it be? There are so many options!
Part 2: Choose Your Ivy Type
So you’ve decided to give up on the job search and try out for a Reality TV show. Congratulations! Like I said before, you’re a total shoo-in.
Why, again? America, as you probably know, has a love-hate relationship with the Ivy League. Wealth! Power! Privilege! Great stuff. When push comes to shove, though – at least on Reality shows – people really just want to see Ivy Leaguers fail. Hard.
And who can blame them? It’s always satisfying to see the high and mighty brought low. Remember this: You’re going to get cast because producers want someone the audience can instantly root against.
So when you’re trying out, give those producers what they want. Show up to the interview sporting your preppy best. Begin every statement with the phrase, “As a Princeton student…” Say the words “Eating Club” at least six times, and “bicker” at least twice.
Most importantly, know just what kind of Ivy Reality type you’re going to be, and play that part to the hilt.
Are you…
Who says I close at 11:45?
I bet you thought we were going to make it all the way to October without a library-related blog post, didn’t you! Psshaw!
You’re down in the atrium of Firestone, the sonorous melodies of “Who’s Next” blasting in your headphones as you crank your way through some sweet POL 210 reading. All of a sudden BRRRRINGGGGG! the alarm sounds. Work unfinished, “Won’t Get Fooled Again” only halfway done, you sigh and collect your things, ready to trudge off into the cold, unforgiving New Jersey night.
If only there was some way, you inwardly lament, that I could stay in Firestone after 11:45!
What if I told you there’s a place in Firestone you can stay until 2 a.m.? Is that something you might be interested in?
More after the jump!
Not actually me.
Hey.
Looking good in that American Eagle polo and drawstring cargo shorts. Might want to pick up a deep-V at some point, but the current ensemble probably won’t prevent you from rolling into Quadrangle, six dudes deep. Quadrangle (colloquially “Quad”) is one of ten eating clubs, which are places you’ll go to up to four times a week to drain brews and nervously learn to socialize at an advanced undergraduate level. Tactics should not include: “Yeah, I’m totally a senior,” “Aren’t we Facebook friends?,” and “What activities are you doing to get into Woody Woo? I’m in Sustained Dialogue.” On that note, don’t be anxious about talking to girls– all the pretty ones have already slipped out of your reach and into the enviably post-pubescent arms of upperclassmen anyway. Maybe for now you should do me a solid and knock off an ST.
It’s cool that you love your entryway and your RCA is a total sweetie. Enjoy those late-night philosophy discussions with your roommates and be sure to savor all those nuggets of bona fide intellectualism, including “Existentialism IS a humanism,” “Dude, that’s totally post-racial,” and “You should totally rush St. A’s.” Soon the psuedo-intellectualism will begin to wane and you’ll find yourself power-walking directly to the liquor store once LIN360 lets out. Make sure not to schedule too many classes that end at 4:30–you’re going to need time to pick up a pack of 100s and a soy latte (with room for Schnapps) before Nassau Weekly meetings.
Also, that mine-field of bacne you developed on OA should be clearing up any year now (consult Neutrogena), so cool beans. But, unfortunately, that hope you’re holding out of bulking up in the gym is change you can’t believe in. Your time is better spent funneling beers and volume booting all over your suite-mate’s wall.
Oh, and word to the wise, chief: photocopying Tower passes in Marquand is a no-go. They’re embossed.
Love,
Ted
[Updated 9/21]
So just who are these cute little freshmen oozing around campus in large swarms?
According to Princeton’s admissions office, there are 1,301 freshmen this year, which means they outnumber all other classes! Eek! They were plucked from 21,963 applicants, of whom 2,209 were originally accepted.
Thirteen percent of students in the freshman class are legacies, and 59% attended public school. The rest of the class graduated from some variation of private schools (18% day, 10% boarding, and 12% religious).
And did you know that the class of 2013 is very diverse? Yay, diversity! And by diversity, we mean Asian. Nearly 18% of the freshman class is Asian. African Americans and Latinos make up 7% each.
And where do they come from? Where is their natural habitat?
Look at you guys! So carefree! Well, for the moment
Ah, Frosh Week. A bright spot in the lives of all Princeton students, the sweet collective calm before the furious academic storm of a school year. I see it now: brightly-clad freshmen wandering across campus in gaggles of eight, collectively lost despite three maps in hand; disheveled 20-somethings handing me overpriced textbooks in the basement of Labyrinth; students panting as they lug ratty couches up stairs in the God-forsaken humidity. But there really is something special in those bright and early days of a new school year, and it’s not just the wild abandon of freshmen getting drunk on the possibilities of college (and Beast, baby!).
It’s not, however, all straight-up good times for freshmen. We here at The Ink feel for you (we were freshmen once, can you imagine?) and decided to lay out some tips for new students. We know the opening week of college can be a difficult period: first time away from home, eternal awkward silences during your RCA meetings, your roommate kind of smells, what is this strangely Nazi-like salute everyone does while singing, you’re not a freshman girl so it’s impossible to get a beer anywhere.
To make transition to college a little easier, we’ve compiled a couple of tips and pointers to help you get through it all and come out on top. Not of your quintile, though; that’s pretty much impossible.
So here it is: The Ink’s Freshman Guide to Princeton* (A three-part series).
