Articles filed under “Princeternet”

Are you a post-thesis senior with little to do but scour the Internet for amusing Princeton-related tidbits during your last two months on campus? A recently-admitted pre-frosh who is already running out of online material to fuel your imagination as you dream about your arrival on campus?

Don’t worry, we’ve done all the work for you! UPC is proud to present an introduction to Princeton’s plethora of online sources to sustain your procrastination in the next four years.

Here are some of our go-to gems:


Platform for cross-campus complaints.

Tiger Admirers

Although the Facebook page seems to be (temporarily?) unavailable, this site gets a lot of action (and generates a lot of action) throughout the school year as students fawn over their classmates.

And to give you a taste of some college-level literary analysis, watch English Professor Jeff Nunokawa’s original interpretation of the text here.



Pi Phi in the library is you classic (spoof) sorority girl with a twist!

Princeton Horse – self-explanatory


An excellent source for non-Princeton-related procrastination, but when the two are combined, who can resist?


Your very own Class of 2018 Facebook Page! (increases in value as time goes on)



And, as always, your number 1 site for your years on campus, and beyond: The Ink!



For those of you who haven’t yet discovered the many advantages of following your Princeton professors on Twitter (a practice that has previously gained national attention), we at the Ink have decided to round up some gems from a few of the most prolific tweeters on campus, including the University itself.

Like that one time Princeton and Harvard exchanged some official Twitter #nerd shade:

(Context: Princeton was sharing Professor Kintali’s new site True Shelf.)

Harvard’s cheeky response:

Princeton’s #shady retort:

We’re not sure who runs the Official Princeton Twitter (not enough #hashtags to be ODUS) so we’ll just assume it’s Martin Mbugua.

Or that one time prolific writer Joyce Carol Oates (also a Breaking Bad fan) and philosophy prof Gilbert Harman debated whether Neitzsche was in hell.

Or when Jay-Co retweeted Mike Tyson:

While neuroscience professor Sam Wang throws out some innuendo-laden food links on occasion:

The answer is gross.

Another week, another round of Princeton-related internet commentary. Here’s what’s up this week:

Princeton FML

On Prefrosh and happiness:

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On terrifying things:

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Reunions 2002: Keg Bed

Reunions 2002: Keg Bed

Like an atom bomb or the end of the world or the Macy’s Day Parade. Whether or not you knew it, Reunions (i.e. “the perennial Ivy League blowout kegger” referred to in a GQ exposé last year) are coming. Can’t you hear it — the pitter-patter of hundreds of alumni footsteps, canes and wheelchairs, the slurping from special edition beer cans, the loudness of Reunions’ token wardrobe?

Maybe not. Or, at least not yet, with Houseparties a few days away and all. But rest assured, the countdown has begun at, which gives an up-to-the-second reminder of the time between now and when the May-hem begins.

This screen shot will become increasingly less relevant over time.

This screenshot will become increasingly less relevant over time.

Personally, the design of the site seems all too familiar.  That font and the angular, borderless orange rectangle schema are symbols of official University webpage underdesign. I’m talking about those sites only seen momentarily in the deepest stages of room draw. Also, how did we get the web address? Not that it’s the most desireable web address (certainly not as desireable as, the homepage of PJ’s Pancake House), but the page doesn’t even mention the University.

Anyhow, Reunions are all about bold moves and in the Orange Bubble, no other reunions (lowercase) exist.  Just ask the folks over at, who call it “an experiment focused on age and agelessness, immaturity and maturation.”

fmlpostIt’s official: the third generation of Princeton FML moderators has arrived. A quick rundown of recent events …

As any faithful FML reader knows by now, Mod 1.0 Raymond Hsu ’11 recently passed the mantle to a pair of new moderators (their identities remain as yet unknown). Mods 2.0 announced the beginning of their term on January 4 and few readers were happy to hear it, if the +/- differential is any indication.

Last night, however, Mods 2.0 put an untimely end to their reign: both of them resigned within four hours of each other, citing “work and life as being too overwhelming, that they weren’t prepared, that they were thrown in at the harshest time possible, etc.”* Hsu reflected further on their decision: “I’m disappointed to see them go, but I completely understand their reasons and do not resent them in any way.” Their term, albeit brief, saw plenty of grumbling. Many commenters criticized their moderating style and the infrequency of updates. They were also the (perhaps unwitting) subjects of one of the most unpopular posts in the site’s history. As for their legacy, that is for the history books to decide; if nothing else, their six-day term will probably be one of the shortest in the annals of Princeton FML.

And as those moderators stepped down, a new duo rose to the challenge. Hsu handpicked them — one of them had been a finalist in the Mod 2.0 selection process — and Mods 3.0 officially announced their arrival on January 10.

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You could be the Chosen One.

You could be the Chosen One. Mod II.

There comes a point where every king must step down from the throne. Even our Glorious Mod.

Yes, all good things come to an end. However, as the late 90′s heartily affirmed, that means there’s also a new beginning! And this one could involve you! A tantalizing excerpt from a Mod interview:

You might think moderating during exams is therapeutic, but really, all it does is trick me into thinking I’ve accomplished something. Filing my taxes, updating my resume, and even folding my laundry all have similar effects. Assuming I make it to senior year, I’ll probably hold a “moderator bicker” during the fall semester so that PrincetonFML won’t be to blame for me being hopelessly behind on my thesis.

Um. In case you missed it:

“moderator bicker”

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[UPDATED BELOW] The Princeton Tiger, our resident humor rag, has been absolutely tearing up the internets lately. Their latest video, “Discussions in Contemporary Poetry: A conversation with Paul Muldoon,” features some erudite commentary from our beloved Professor of Creative Writing. The unlikely subject: Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok.” See the deep poetic genius in action:

Juxtaposition of high and low culture! (Especially enjoyed the Lear reference.) It’s funny! Apparently, it’s this funny. And this funny. And this funny. They throw up an adorable shoutout to their poetry editor: “Oh Paul, you totally make it pop.”

So, Tiger Mag, a tip of the hat — for making this video, for making waves. And for enriching the vocabulary of a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet. (Notable additions: “crunk,” “junk.”)

UPDATE: These guys picked up on it too. Viral status is imminent.

UPDATE II: And also the Village Voice and the New York Times (!).

clockOn March 28, an anonymous senior — fittingly anonymous, I should add, because in a way, he is every senior – set out to write a thesis.  His page count was zero, but his hopes were high: “This is gonna be an adventure!” he exclaimed.  His deadline?  Wednesday, April 7.

Thesis Pieces is his story.  And I promise you — it’s the second best blog you’ll read all day.

We follow the writer from mundanity (“Can’t write because my pen died.  Page count: 0/100″) to insanity (“I figured out a way to solve all my  thesis woes!  All I need to do is figure out a way to send a cyborg killing machine back in time!”).  We laugh when he laughs, we cry when he cries.

We don’t, however, sleep when he sleeps: “I slept two hours last… sleeping time,” he confesses.  ”On a bench in Firestone.”

But from our comparatively well-rested perch we urge our hero onwards, willing him the strength to vanquish that greatest enemy of all: the ever-ticking clock.


Fifth? Or fourth circle of hell?

Admissions decisions loom over potential members of the Class of 2014. Tomorrow, April 1 at 5:00 pm Eastern, Princeton will inform a little over 26,000 students whether they will be able to attend.

Yikes. Maybe that sounds a little too grave.

(Also, April Fools seems like such a lousy date; I myself, in my initial stages of denial over the fact that I was rejected, might pray for at least 20 minutes that the school was just pranking me).

At any rate, a significant percentage of applicants seem to be tweaking out on online forums like College Confidential (see Princeton’s portion of College Confidential here). 

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Ice, ice, baby - where were you freshman year?

You know when you’re picking classes and you found the perfect SA and an English class that looks awesome and you’re really excited, and then it turns out they’re at the same time? Or when you spend five hours trying to decide between ECO 101 and ECO 100? (Don’t do it if you don’t have to.)

Well it looks like Gyeong-Sik Choi ’10 is looking out for you, because he’s created the new Integrated Course Engine. Or ICE.

Besides having a sweet name, the searchable engine takes all the classes you’re thinking of signing up for, compiles reviews from the Student Course Guide and course descriptions in different panes, and lays them out for you in a neat little schedule.

Bam. Course-picking just got a little easier.

(image via Michael Yaroshefsky’s email to USG News subscribers)

This could have been your Stan Katz reading, but no.

This could have been your Stan Katz reading, but no.

Remember when Princeton gave us Kindles, and we were like, Frick, that’s awesome! But after a while we were like, Frick, these suck. And then we were like, Frick, told you guys.

Well Seton Hill University in Greensburg, Pennsylvania is one-upping us and giving all of their students iPads. You know, those kind of useless big iPhones. But who cares because they’re free, man.

Via Techflash:

About 2,100 students attend Seton Hill, so at the lowest retail price point of $499 (and not factoring in any possible bulk discounts) it would amount to just over a $1 million initial investment.

Come on Princeton. I bet you spend that money on toilet paper, or something.

At any rate, just a little jealous of these kids. Because, as you might remember, apparently the Kindle job sucked. Thanks Princeton.

(image source:


Any self-respecting FML reader is by now painfully familiar with the “Anna?” phenomenon. If you were (un)fortunate enough to miss the meme entirely, it’s not too complicated: commenters arbitrarily posted “Anna?” in response to any FML, ranging from sniffing of asparagus pee to dubious use of back massagers. Feel free to browse– there are seven full pages of Anna?-posts, dating back to January 14th.  (Apparently this was really amusing for a really long period of time.) But who is Anna? The Mod gave us the scoop. Straight from the horse’s (unicorn’s?) mouth:

I approved 80 “Anna?” comments [during midterms week]. For those of you who care to know, Anna is a friend of mine who knows my true identity. Her friends found out that she knew who I was, but she refused to tell them, so they decided to post her name as comments on amusing/embarrassing posts … Anna’s a real trooper though, and as far as I know, didn’t spill the beans.

Trooper indeed. And as you may have noticed, Anna wasn’t that week’s only meme.

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