It’s no surprise to see Princeton students lining up for free food – but today at Frist, they lined up to grow it. A houseplant giveaway, held by the Botany Club, drew a line stretching along most of the back of Frist South Lawn. Included in the giveaway were habanero peppers and basil, and the chance to decorate the pot. Check out some highlights in the gallery below.
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CLAYTON RAITHEL ’12 RETURNS TO PRINCETON WITH AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL COMEDY ABOUT BREAKUP, DEPRESSION, AND HEALING. SMILE, DIRECTED BY JEFF ’12 and RICK KUPERMAN, WILL BE PERFORMED AT RICHARDSON AUDITORIUM AT 9 PM TONIGHT.
Name: Clayton Raithel
Hometown: Natick, MA
Eating club/residential college/affiliation: Tower/Whitman
Activities on campus: Ugh, too many. Quipfire!, Triangle, the Writing Center, PUP, Princeton Disability Awareness, Whitman RCA… I was in a jazz ensemble one year, too? Weird.
When did you first come up with the idea to take a painful, personal experience and turn it into a comedy show?
Taking painful experiences and making them into comedy is not new – my favorite comedian, Mike Birbiglia, made a career out of doing just that. I think the show was largely an attempt to stop giving this painful experience so much power. The stuff I was dealing with is heavy – depression, a breakup, adulthood – and whenever it got too weighty for normal conversation, I learned to find the humor. It was healing for me and allowed an entry point for other people to discuss mental health with me.
What was the writing process like?
Labor intensive. I’ve never worked so hard on anything. At the beginning, I would just share stories with my directors, Jeff and Rick Kuperman. Then, I would tell stories to my friends. Then, themes started to emerge. A structure started to develop. I finally had a draft around January, 2014. But it was complete and utter crap. So, I took the script to a number of “comedy doctors” to help execute the funny latent in the script. I took some material to open mics and performed it there. I worked a lot out in the rehearsal room. And then we started to workshop it. And then I wrote new stuff and scrapped old stuff. Writing is revision; that’s what the Writing Center would want me to say.
How did you come about partnering with your directors, Jeff Kuperman ’12 and Rick Kuperman?
I didn’t know Jeff all too well during my time at Princeton. But I had seen some of his work on campus, and respected his work. So around the time I thought of making the show, I emailed him and pitched him the idea for it. We met at a Just Salad in the Washington Square Park area for lunch, and I just spilled out everything that had been going on in my life recently. And he jumped on board, and suggested we bring his brother Rick along, too. The Kuperman Brothers and I are now extremely close.
How does it feel to relive your post-graduation moments again and again through each performance?
On the one hand, the show has been immensely helpful for me, incredibly therapeutic and healing. Reliving these moments in this way helps me process them, it helps me think about them objectively, and it helps me see how crazy my brain was acting. In fact, there are now moments of the show that I treat almost entirely as an actor, which I think is a sign of progress. At the same time, though, there is a twisted irony of doing the show again and again – I wrote the show to get over this painful time in my life and give it less power over me… and yet here I am, doing a show about this painful time in my life, giving it power again and again! On the whole, though, it’s been a very positive experience.
What’s different about acting as yourself rather than a character?
The main difference is that I have a lot more control over how Clayton as character is perceived. I think a lot about that – because Clayton in the show is both the protagonist and the antagonist, and it’s a delicate balance to strike. At the same time, Clayton in real life is always there with Clayton the character. That’s sort of the point.
What was something surprising you learned during the process of putting on “SMILE”?
That the writing of the show itself would change how I thought about my life, which would in turn change how I wrote the show. Round and round we go!
What has the reception to the show been like?
Very positive! I’m very grateful. It’s always different. Some people just think it’s very funny, others are deeply moved, others are both, and a select few who shall remain nameless are neither. The reviews have been great, but I think the most meaningful thing for me is how a lot of people who saw the show started opening up to me and sharing their stories of heartbreak, depression, etc. It reminded me that these issues are a lot bigger than me.
Has your ex-girlfriend seen the show?
DUN DUN DUN. What a good question! No, she hasn’t. We haven’t spoken for a long time. I know she knows about the show, though, and some mutual friends have come to see it. But, I think the better question here is… does it matter? The show’s not really about her; it’s about me. And I think anyone who sees the show understands that, and probably gets that I have nothing but respect for her and all I’ve learned from her.
Why did you decide to bring the show to Princeton during Arts Weekend?
I didn’t. I had mentioned the show to Dean Dunne when it had a run in NYC, and he suggested bringing it down. It just so happened that he had a spot in Richardson during Arts Weekend, and that’s how we got here!
What about Princeton have you missed the most? The least?
I miss academia a lot, but that’s too nerdy of an answer I guess. Umm… I miss that feeling of being invincible? In hindsight, that’s really what you get there, and then you get to the real world and they are like, “Nah, bro” and you are like, “What?” The thing I miss least is the Street, but that’s just because I am not fun and don’t like to drink/party/loud things/people I don’t know.
If you could tell your senior year self one thing, what would it be?
It gets worse. ZING! Okay, just kidding.
If you could switch lives with any Princeton alum for a day, who would you choose?
Jonathan Weed ’09. He’s one of my best friends and is really good at math. I think it would be cool to be that good at math for one day.
In 10 years, you will be…
Hanging out with my pug, because I am getting one, and s/he will be awesome. It will consume most of my time.
What’s your drink?
I don’t really drink! Can I say a Shirley Temple? I like teas a lot. Umm… water is great as well.
How do you get rid of stage fright?
I don’t really get it, in general. That’s not the norm for most actor types I know. I get it for this show, because it’s so personal and it feels like if the audience doesn’t like it… they don’t like you. But stage fright goes away when you realize that almost any performance you have doesn’t really matter. Like, yeah, take it seriously, but also… if you aren’t having fun doing this, why are you doing this?
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?
I sit through my nursing school classes and think of medical related puns I can write as tweets.
What’s hanging above your desk and/or bed?
I have a map of my hometown and surrounding towns, and other map that connects that map all the way to Boston. My wall is maps.
Where do you do your best thinking?
In my bed, right before I fall asleep. I often have to text myself from my bed so I remember my ideas in the morning.
What is your greatest guilty pleasure?
I actively watch anime on a regular basis and not in an ironic way.
Who is your mortal enemy?
That would be my brain. He’s a crafty little devil. Always giving me irrational thoughts and making me hate myself. I will win, brain. I will win.
What makes someone a Princetonian?
If you have to ask, you’ll never know. Sounds like a cop out answer, and that’s because it is! It’s 2:30am and I have to go to bed so I can perform SMILE tomorrow! Goodnight!
Interview condensed by Ellis Liang ’15.
At exactly 5:00 PM, the Princeton faculty voted to eliminate the restrictive grading policy, commonly known as grade deflation.
The policy, first implemented in 2005, restricted academic departments to giving out a maximum of 35% A- range grades in their classes. The policy was often construed to mean a cap of 35% of A grades per class, leading to anger and consternation among students.
The faculty meeting in the half-filled Faculty Room of Nassau Hall lasted for just over half an hour, with President Eisgruber presiding over the proceedings. No faculty member voiced opposition to the elimination of the policy, although some were concerned that the new policy could potentially re-lead to inflation in grading. It was approved almost unanimously, with only a handful of dissenting votes.
The new policy that will be taking its place is outlined in the recommendations of the Ad Hoc Committee to Review Policies Regarding Assessment and Grading, which can be found here. The recommendations were released in early August, endorsed by President Eisgruber and sent to a faculty subcommittee for review, before they landed before the whole faculty for a vote today.
The faculty also voted to dissolve the Committee on Grading, a faculty committee that had the focus of setting policies to assist in the “limiting [of] grade inflation.”
Thanks to photographs by Zhan Okuda-Lim ’15, an outline and copies of the policy changes are below.
For those who have made the long trek out to the Graduate College, in the far corner of parking lot 19 — where juniors are forced to park their cars — sits an abandoned-looking pickup truck with the words Prospect Eleven emblazoned on its side, a light and UFO-looking thing on the roof, and garbage in the trunk. What’s the truck and what’s it doing there?
It was Princeton’s contribution to the DARPA 2005 Grand Challenge, a competition organized by the secretive Department of Defense research agency — it’s kind of like the older, federal, more weaponry-oriented Google X — to build driver-less cars that could make it down a difficult prescribed track. They named the car after the more commonly known Prospect 11, the challenge to chug a beer at each of the eating clubs.
A news report from 2005 described the Princeton entrant car:
Their car, the Prospect 11, is built on a GMC Canyon pickup, a vehicle that had been damaged in transport and was going to be scrapped by GM. The car was donated to the Princeton team instead, who set about building in drive-by-wire components, computers, GPS, and its only sensor, a stereo vision camera.
The car was a joint student-faculty project, but was spearheaded by a set of juniors, according to a final report on the project. During the summer before their senior year, seven students worked on getting the project in motion, looking for funds, and gathering extra parts. Compared to the other teams, the Prospect 11 was pretty hastily put together:
A few weeks before the qualifying rounds, they had also gotten a hold of an inertial measurement unit, which meant they had very little time to integrate its information and test it. And a lot of the programming of these vehicles is done by trial and error; let the car run, and if it’s about to hit an object, stop it and look at its sensor data and how the computer decided to respond.
If you understand computer programming speak (or have taken COS 126 and want to try), here’s the review report from the undergrads who worked on the truck published in the Journal of Field Robotics.
So what’s the truck doing in Lot 19?
It’s been moving around from place to place at the university since it was decommissioned at the competition, said Professor Alain Kornhauser, the project leader. First, it was stored in some of the university’s garages for safekeeping and protection from the elements. Then the truck was moved to Lot 20, near the Dinky, until he got a call a few weeks ago from the university that he had to move it to Lot 19. Prospect Eleven no longer works — most of the electronic insides have been gutted — and it doesn’t have any duties now, but he doesn’t want to get rid of it for sentimental reasons, he said.
iPhone, iPad, iPod, I…Chicken ?
300 animals die for the purpose of human consumption every second, according to the PETA2 representative who stood ground in Frist today, showcasing the first ever virtual reality machine of its kind: instead of a human body, you’re stuck inside a chicken’s.
As claimed on their website, I, Chicken uses the most cutting edge VR technology to allow students to discover first-hand what it’s like to be poultry. Sensors attached to arms and legs will map their every movement to the virtual 3-D world projected before their eyes, taking them through a roughly 3-minute sketch of the life of a chicken: born free, trapped by farmers, and shipped to a ranch where they are forced to live in close quarters with hundreds of their kind. It’s purpose, as explained by the representatives and the many pamphlets they have for distribution, is to allow students to develop empathy for chickens, “who on factory farms aren’t seen as individuals with interests, wants, and needs but rather as producers of meat and eggs.” The exhibit will continue through tomorrow at Frist and is open to all who are curious enough to get inside the heads of our favorite feathered friends.
Watch as PETA2 intern Bridget exhibits the simulation in full:
Ever wondered what a Princeton Commencement ceremony was like in the 1700s? Well, on the off chance you did, we’ve got an answer for you.
This article was published in the New-Hampshire Gazette – Dartmouth wouldn’t be founded for another three years — on October 24, 1766. It had been written exactly a month earlier, on September 24th, but in the late 1700s, it was quite common for reports on distant events to be published weeks or months after the events had take in place.
For the curious, “Mr. Finley” refers to Samuel Finley, Princeton’s fifth president. Also, all of those “f” looking letters that you’re seeing are actually “s”s; thus, “pleafure” is really “pleasure.” If you’d like to know why the printers used this type of typeface, feel free to ask your friendly neighborhood History major. Let’s all be glad that at modern commencements, we no longer have to explain to the audience what we’ve learned at our four years at Princeton.
For the first time since Firestone Library opened in 1948, its remote fifth and sixth floors are open to library patrons after renovations added heating, air conditioning, and furniture.
The sixth floor reading room is characterized by an opulence foreign to Firestone’s cold attempt at modernity. The floor-to-ceiling lead-paned windows, wood flooring and paneling, and enormous chandelier seem a bit unnecessary for a space with a maximum capacity of eight, but the room is undeniably the most beautiful in the building.
The fifth floor is smaller and plainer, but the views are still pleasant. As an added bonus, the fifth floor reading room comes complete with a tempting, alarmed door for roof access.
There are, however, a few drawbacks. The newly opened spaces, like Firestone’s elevator banks and emergency exits, are monitored by CCTV. The rooms are also extraordinarily inconvenient: they are only accessible via stair four; not wheelchair accessible; and the nearest bathrooms, print clusters, and stacks are three floors down.
According to the Daily Princetonian, the fifth and sixth floors were formerly off-limits to patrons and served as a morbid RBSC storage attic for death masks and faculty office respectively.
The reading rooms are, at least for now, entirely without wayfinding, so here is a brief guide on how to get to these new study spaces:
- From the main stair and elevator banks, head towards the third floor signature reading room.
- Instead of entering the reading room, look for stair four, which is accessible via a nondescript beige door between the Institute for Advance Study and signature reading rooms.
- Head up three flights of stairs.
Enjoy these new study spaces!
The Kickstarter campaign for WICK, the “no-stress black dress” created by Liz Lian ’15, will go live this week. WICK, a clothing line created last year by Lian and Sanibel Chai of UPenn, is designed with the collegiate party scene in mind – the dresses, skirts, and tops have pockets and are made of fabric that is both comfortable and easy to wash.
The Wickstarter is complete with backer rewards including discounted first-run apparel and hand written thank you notes, a testimonial from Caroline Reese, and a video detailing how WICK can change a night out. Until the launch you can preview the page and leave feedback.
*Update: The page is now live on Kickstarter.
SLAM POET PATRICK ROCHE ’14 LOVES BEYONCE, FIGHTS EVIL WITH COCONUT WATER-BASED JUSTICE, AND HAS TWO WEEKS LEFT TO CROSS ROCK CLIMBING OFF HIS SENIOR BUCKET LIST
Hometown: Nutley, NJ
Eating Club/Res College/Affiliation: Whitman!
How did you first get involved with slam poetry?
I wrote on my own for a few years but never shared it with anyone. Then one of my friends saw a poem I had lying around my room, grabbed it, and ran out. She came back a little while later saying I should really share it, so I did a few open mic nights and Whitman Coffeehouses. As people started encouraging me to look into Ellipses, I reached out and went to my first meeting last spring, and I fell in love with it.
Where do you get inspiration for your poems?
I tend to write about my own experiences, so my inspiration for the subject matter usually comes from my own life—family, romance, etc. As for performance and style, I don’t know if I have any specific poets that I can point to as inspirations, but just in general, watching other poets perform is a huge inspiration.
What is your writing process like?
I usually end up realizing I have something I want to write about or express, and when I sit down to write, it usually comes out in one sitting…but it’s usually a complete piece of crap. So then I will bring it to other people in Ellipses and talk about it as we revise it.
What does it feel like to perform slam on stage?
It’s kind of terrifying sometimes because it’s so vulnerable and you’re putting a lot of personal stuff out there. I’m also always nervous, even if I’ve gotten more comfortable over the past year or so. More than anything, it feels relieving and cathartic, though.
How do you feel about your videos going viral?
Of course I’m thrilled, especially since so much feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. But it’s also really weird. I don’t really know how to process it, and it’s still strange knowing that my life story is so public now.
The rumor mill says Harpers Publishing offered you a book contract! Is this true?
Okay, y’all need to calm down. I will say that I have been presented with some opportunities as a result of these videos, and that may include discussing the possibility of publishing with certain publishers, but even if that were the case, nothing is guaranteed or has even been offered. But the fact that I have any opportunities at all as a result of all of this is incredible.
Who are your favorite poets?
As far as spoken word poets, I’d say Sarah Kay, Hieu Minh Nguyen, Sam Sax, Danez Smith, Mahogan
For more “page”-y poets, I’d say Oscar Wilde, John Keats, Frank O’Hara, Gwendolym Brooks, and so many more
Where’s your favorite place to write on campus?
It’s a little boring, but honestly just in my room, with a blanket and hot chocolate.
Who’s your favorite Princetonian, living or dead, real of fictional?
Carlton Banks! I’m not even ashamed of my Fresh Prince of Bel-Air obsession.
What’s your favorite part of Princeton?
The friends I’ve made here, and the campus itself—I could walk around for hours and be happy.
Also the free food. All of the free food.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?
I fight the forces of evil and crime with my unique blend of chocolate and coconut water-based justice.
What’s hanging above your desk?
A huge X-Men poster.
What makes you laugh/cry?
Laugh: Other people falling
Cry: Me falling
What’s your greatest guilty pleasure?
Not anymore, but I used to watch Degrassi religiously and had gone back and seen all of the episodes of the current version of it. All ten or so seasons up to that point.
What’s on your playlist?
Beyoncé essentially is my playlist. But also Sara Bareilles, Taylor Swift, Grace Potter, Fleetwood Mac, Rufus Wainwright, and all sorts of pop.
This year it’s been somewhere around 2 or 3 AM most nights. I told myself that was okay since I didn’t have class before 12:30.
What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned at Princeton?
How to avoid doing laundry for as long as possible while still seeming presentable.
What’s one thing you would like to do before you graduate?
Go rock climbing—for four years I kept telling myself to take advantage of the wall and never did.
What’s the most dangerous thing you’ve done this past year?
When four other members of Ellipses and I were in Colorado for CUPSI, the national college poetry slam, we drove to the top of one of the mountains (they called them hills, but they were obviously mountains. They had snow at the peak and everything). And we climbed out to the edge and took in the view, which was amazing. But also if I slipped, I would have fallen straight down.
In 25 years, you will be…
47. And hopefully married, with a wonderful family, financially secure, and doing something I love, whether that’s still poetry or working at an educational institution, or something totally different. Who knows!
What’s one question you wish we had asked and answer it.
What would the title of your memoir be?
Probably “#MLIPatrickRoche” or “It Gets Bitter: The Patrick Roche Story,” or “Riding Tandem Bikes Alone,” but that will probably work better as a book of poetry.
Watch Patrick’s performance of “21″:
Yesterday, Ari Satok ’14 published his first story online. The Great Princeton Adventure is a 40-stanza poem about the Princeton experience, written and illustrated by Satok. It’s a wonderfully accurate depiction of the Princeton experience, with everything from bullshitting precepts to visits to CPS to somehow ending up on Wall Street. Satok manages to fit in something that can speak to the experience of nearly every undergrad. Although the poem is a message to the class of 2014, it’s really about Princeton in general.
The Great Princeton Adventure manages to combine the styles of Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuess–mostly simple and occasionally silly. The project arose when Satok began to reflect on his four years at Princeton and to put that into words. “My hope was that it would make people smile, laugh, reflect, and reminisce in a way that was at once nostalgic and honest about the Princeton experience.” The poetry itself depicts a very real Princeton experience, and the extra quips and social commentary that the illustrations provide make The Great Princeton Adventure an even truer reflection of what many people experience–even if they’re not willing to talk about it. “Ari’s piece is quietly powerful and singular in the way it tells the college story from admission to graduation and beyond, while acknowledging both the highs and the lows along the way,” said Amalya Megerman ’16, who colored the title page.
Though this is not the first poem Satok has written, it was the first time he’d tried his hand at drawing. A member of the Edwards Arts Collective, he decided to give it a shot. After completing pencil-sketch illustrations for each stanza, Satok “thought it would be really fun to get friends to come and color them in to bring their own creativity to the project.” So he did–and each of the drawings is accordingly reflective of the different styles and tastes of the students who colored them.
In publishing The Great Princeton Adventure online, Satok hopes that “others who’ve gone through this Princeton experience can hopefully enjoy it and connect to the book as well.”
8:00 pm – The End, really
Here we go round the 14 inch Apple
Sleek Apple sleek Apple
Here we go round the 14 inch Apple
At five o’clock in the afternoon
Between the idea
And the reality
Between the sleep-deprivation
And the caffeination
Falls Dean’s Date
For Princeton is the Kingdom
Between the conception
And the bull-shitting
Between the 4 a.m. epiphanies
And the frantic typing
Falls Dean’s Date
Reading Period is very long
Between the 5-Hour Energy
And the spasm
Between the Frist crepe booth
And Midnight Breakfast
Between the sunrise
And the 4:59 submission
Falls Dean’s Date
For Princeton is the Kingdom
For Princeton is
For Princeton is the
This is the way Reading Period ends
This is the way Reading Period ends
This is the way Reading Period ends
Not with a bang but a five-hour long nap.
5:50 pm – Holder
A little Dean’s Date wrap up.
To reflect on the day, and get ready for some music tonight.
5:14 PM – Still working, not dead yet
HAPPYYYYYYY DEAN’S DATEEEEEEEEE EVERYBODY!!!!!! [insert celebratory GIF here, I was never good at finding those]
Sooo I haven’t been contributing much to this liveblog. But if you recall, I helped start out this post with a log exactly 24 hours ago, and I figured I’d help close it out.
Y’guys remember how, 24 hours ago, I discovered this POL paper is due at midnight tonight? And how I thought I’d just finish by 5 anyway? Yeahhhhhh about that…7 hour writing marathon here I goooooooooo!!!
4:40 PM: Nearing the finish line!
Download this Chrome extension that automatically cites the websites you’re on.
gogogogo you’re almost there!!
4:40 PM – Little-Known Area of the East Asian Library
When work absolutely must get done (as in, t-20 minutes), the frigid AC, personal bathroom, and desolation of this strange floor in Frist/the East Asian Library does the trick.
2:41 PM – at wit’s end
Me right now:
2:12 PM – 48 University Place
Apparently this video is being taken down today. It’s pretty cool and sufficiently odd enough for those who are losing it as the 5 P.M. Dean’s Date deadline looms.
12:12 PM – Awake
Going *over* the page limit is not usually a problem on Dean’s Date, but say you got carried away a little and don’t know what to do? Have no fear, PHD Comics is here! (h/t our #1 fanboy ZOL)
10:56 AM - Princeton Theological Seminary Library
If you’re tired of fighting turf wars in Firestone, take the extra 15 minutes to walk to the Princeton Theological Seminary Library. This library is gorgeous, with a four story open atrium that reminds me more of the MoMA than a library. And best of all, since Seminary students finished their exams yesterday, the building’s practically empty. I definitely recommend this hidden gem if all the second-hand stress on campus starts getting to you. The only downside is it’s a bit farther away from food sources (though there are vending machines in the café), and some construction is going on in the lower level (it’s inaudible if you move into the eastern portion of the building).
1o:02 – Firestone 2nd Floor
How lucky are we to now have access to a library with three entirely above-ground floors? Natural light is streaming in this morning and all the early risers here are feelin’ fine. Not sure I can say the same about the all-nighters (Am I the only one getting Heidegger joke Snapchats?). No matter where you spent the last six hours and no matter how dark they really got, you’re going to need some medical advice to get you through the next seven. Lucky for you, Press Club’s done the research for you, and with a little help from WebMD, we’ve got some great news to share.
“Pushing through the night to study, work, or respond to an emergency can feel downright heroic. You did what you had to do, against the odds.”
That’s right. You’ve responded to the emergency, and that’s downright heroic.
“‘You would think you would be the most impaired the longer you’re awake, but that is not the case,’ says sleep expert David Dinges, PhD, chief of the division of sleep and chronobiology at the University of Pennsylvania and editor of the journal SLEEP. Because of the natural flow of your body clock, or circadian rhythm, ‘you’re actually at the worst 24 hours after your habitual wake-up time,” Dinges says. “You’ll have an unbelievably difficult time staying awake and alert.’”
Your body clock also will give you a periodic boost, as it triggers a wake signal in your brain. You may feel a second wind in the mid-morning (around 10 a.m.) and again in the early evening (at 6 p.m. or 7 p.m.).
So, bad news for tomorrow morning. But great news for today! This means you won’t even hit your worst until after the 5PM deadline, and straight through the Dean’s Date celebrations tonight.
The article also leaves several helpful medical tips for surviving the day after. Things like napping, drinking coffee, sitting in sunlight, and exercising will all help you survive the rest of the day.
And WebMD drops some serious knowledge by the end: “The antidote to sleeplessness is sleep,“ according to NASA fatigue management expert Mark Rosekind. I guess there’s no getting around it. But in the meantime, we have some more pressing issues to deal with.
8:41 AM – My room
Good morning! Here are some soothing sounds from Tycho’s new album (aptly named “Awake”) to ease you into another eight hours of writing…
3:35 AM – Rocky
It’s getting late, and you probably need a little inspiration. Check out some thoughts from these Rocky RGSs – and keep working.
2:24 AM – Finally finished a draft!
If you’re in need of a pick-me-up, here’s a late night tune courtesy of Princeton student and Detroit Lion Caraun Reid.
(From All Nighter with David Drew, Princeton’s very own late night talk show)
After watching this one more time, I’m not sure how great of a pick-me-up this is. I mean, he’s a professional NFL player and he can sing like this?! I can barely (hopefully) even make it through Dean’s Date…
1: 55 AM – Under East Pyne
Firestone finally just got locked up for the night and all of the wonderfully energetic students excited to keep writing relocated to new locations.
On a brighter not, here’s a list of 101 totally not-fun study breaks. I have no idea what the person who made this was thinking.
11. Do a crossword — Isn’t this studying?
53. Read a chapter of a book — Also tons of fun.
54. Make paper snowflakes — arts and crafts time!
63. Play hangman or tic-tac-toe with someone — are we 5?
1:22 AM – Butler basement
If only struggling looked this cute.
Thanks XW ’15 for the tip.
1:00 AM – Pyne (Holder Courtyard)
We got some footage of the biannual Holder Howl – a midnight release for students pulling all-nighters. Do we feel bad for those Holder residents who finished all their papers early and are already sleeping soundly in their beds? No, no we don’t.
(Apologies for the dark video, but it’s the sound that counts!)
12:51 AM-somewhere in the CJL basement
Breaking News: Loki, The ODUS Hedgehog, Has Disappeared
As you may recall from the last LiveBlog, the Press Club got into some serious trouble after writing about the ODUS (The Office of the Dean of Undergraduate Student Life) hedgehog Loki and referring to his “hamster wheel.” Loki, who operated his own twitter account, angrily responded with:
Indeed, Twitter, that is weird.
A quick investigation led me back to Loki’s twitter account where his last tweet, dated January 15, 2014, read:
What this mysterious message means, no one can tell for certain. However, on behalf of the Press Club, I want to express that Loki and his hedgehog wheel are sorely missed on this Dean’s Date.
12:32 AM – studying for comps
Comps (senior comprehensive exams) are the worst. Anyone who has met a senior English major (or other discipline that likes misery instead of a thesis defense) in the past week has probably heard, and the following conversation has likely taken place:
“You have comprehensive exams? On what?”
Yes. ALL BOOKS. ALL THE BOOKS ARE ON THE TABLE FOR THIS EXAM. THERE IS PASSAGE IDENTIFICATION (they say it doesn’t matter, but I WON’T BELIEVE THEM).
So, in reviewing my notes from freshman year English 200 for the two-day, 4-hour per session exam I stumbled upon some of my freshman wit:
How to ID Piers Plowman: If it’s old, spelled weird, and does NOT sounds like Chaucer, it’s probably this.
Thomas Wyatt’s “They Flee From Me” – about courting sexy ladies
Shakespeare Sonnet 1: procreate
Sonnet 3: procreate OR DIE LIKE THE LAND
Sonnet 12: procreate or DIE LIKE A STUPID FLOWER
Gonna ace this gaiz. Dis ull b gud.
12:12 AM – 1901 Hall
A text I’ve received: I will murder the next person who whispers up in here I swear to God. There is a bitch SNAPPING HER GUM.
Let’s keep the gum-chewing in the library to a minimum, people.
Completely unrelated: Dean’s Date makes me question some of my friendships.
12:02 AM – EVERYWHERE
11:57 PM – Firestone Reading Room
To add to AJS’s wonderful How To Do list, here is a tutorial on how to make a coke slushi for that original 4 AM study break you’ve been trying to think of all night. It’s like a 7/11 in your dorm! I’d advise only doing this outside.
11:50 PM – Greendale Community College
Still reeling from the unjust cancellation of my favorite show (that my closest friends think I’m weird for loving) Community, I realized there’s no better place for all your DEAN’s Date-related puns than the flamboyant Dean of Greendale community college.
Perhaps the finest freestylin’ peanut bar ever:
Dean Dunne, why aren’t you dressed up in costumes delivering candy and pertinent announcements? GET ON THAT ODUS.
11:45 PM – Firestone Library
Firestone is open for two more hours, and your papers aren’t due for another 17, so you’ve got plenty of time to spare; you might as well procrastinate! But what better way to procrastinate than by learning?! Press Club has compiled the best and most ridiculous WikiHow tutorials out there. Hopefully, some of these can prepare you for tomorrow night.
- How to Create a Homemade Swiffer Using Chenille Socks (7 steps with pictures)
- How to Flirt (15 steps with pictures)
- How to Kiss (32 steps)
- How to Find a Job as a Hipster (6 steps with pictures)
- How to Administer Medicine to a Resistant Child (6 steps with pictures)
- How to Experience Creepy Pasta to the Max (6 steps with pictures)
11:30 PM – Frist
“Happy Deeeeaaaan’s Date” – The Dean’s Date Fairies
11:16 PM – Whitman
Whitman Midnight Breakfast isn’t exclusively for Whitmanians this year! The line moves fast, and there’s a wide variety of food (unless you’re vegan). Protip: forget the crepes in Frist and head to Whitman.
11:00 PM – Murray-Dodge (or should we say, Murray Doge?)
Murray Dodge Café is serving cookies all night long, so check them out for a study break as the night gets darker.
- AJS & JRR
10:50 PM – Firestone
The Band just left Firestone, but they’re still terrorizing the rest of campus. Here’s an article about it.
10:38 PM – Frist
The line for crêpes from Jammin’ Crêpes at Frist right now is longer than the paper you have yet to finish writing.
All the power to those people who are stress-gymming and not stress-eating. Can’t say I’m one of those.
I can just say this:
9:50 PM – Wa run
Caved in and bought Half Baked Ben & Jerry’s to indulge my Dean’s Date woes. I’ve been running to WaWa more recently, both because I’m a #GDI (Goddamn Independent) who is far too lazy to do groceries with only one week left of finals and because I’m working on a video for Princeton Alumni Weekly on WaWa.
Thus, a favorite for the Ink, Throwback (almost) Tuesday at “the Wa”:
9:40 PM – Friend
If you’re looking for some fresh energy and creativity, try some of these Shiatsu self-massage techniques. This seems only as useful as Luminate, but these are desperate times.
9:20 PM – Outside Feinberg
“She doesn’t even go here.”
9:04 PM – Trustee Reading Room
Show your mom so love on this belated Mother’s Day.
Check out: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/
7:35 PM – Trustee Reading Room
Summer’s almost here, so get excited! Hopefully this video will give you a little bit of inspiration…
Plus, Olaf’s great and it has 25 million views!
PS. Shout out to Amanda for finding this!
7:20 PM – RoMa
And for dinner tonight? Waffles! Looks like the dining halls have gotten a heads up on the sort of comfort food we’re in need of this evening.
The first of many caloric indulgences Princeton will so generously facilitate over the next 22 hours. We’ll keep you updated on what’s where and when so you never go hungry…
7:13 PM – in a metaphorical construction zone
Now if this doesn’t inspire you to get working, I don’t know what will. I mean this video has everything: the music, the patriotism, the obvious parallels between building/renovating the Washington Monument and writing papers for Dean’s Date…
Also, on a related note, the Washington Monument has reopened after three years of renovations.
On another related note, apparently the Washington Monument was closed for three years for renovations. Who knew?
6:47 PM – the struggle bus
The internet tells me the “Struggle bus” (a term I’ve only heard in popular speech as of two years ago) dates back to 2009:
Now you can get on your own Dean’s Date struggle bus, thanks to folks at UPenn!
6:30 PM — Whitman Library
No one told me #PTL would be like this, but my progress in doing Dean’s Date work has mostly been:
5:36 PM — Firestone Trustee Room
In Firestone for almost 7 hours so far today… I almost feel like I know the kid sitting across from me. We’re both wearing glasses — instant connection. Also, we’re both wearing gray-ish shirts. I can tell he’s having a great day because every 10 minutes he leans back and stretches or pretends to sleep. No clue what his name is though. He won’t even realize I’m talking about him if he reads this. Well, I guess that’s a little bit creepy.
Just found this song. Listen to it, Matt’s great.
5:23–on top of a bathroom sink somewhere
Before everything goes terribly wrong and it’s suddenly 4:00 AM and you still haven’t started that paper, here’s some video inspiration to get you on the right track:
Remember, “I love my [papers]!”
5:14 - CJL Library
Just discovered my Politics paper is actually due at midnight tomorrow.
On one hand, YESSS!! On the other hand…great, now I’m just going to procrastinate for 7 more hours.
5:00 PM – My room
“Check your privilege,” the saying goes, and I have been reprimanded by it several times this year. The phrase, passed through the lips of those underlings at Rutgers, descends recklessly, like some university-sanctioned grading policy, and aims laser-like at my orange-and-black regalia…
Perhaps it’s the privilege of having 30 pages due a week after my JP and two days before a slew of finals, spending all night writing and writing, fueled only by a blend of caffeine and hysteria, while the marching band invades all my quiet study spaces and men in drag throw candy at my head. Yes, I go to a school with an $18.2 billion endowment, but the struggle is real. Join UPC’s Liveblog as we document pains that only a Princetonian can understand.
Princeton Defensive End Caraun Reid was selected by the Detroit Lions in the NFL Draft today. Reid, picked in the fifth round, is Princeton’s highest NFL draft selection since Bob Hews in 1970. Projected to go as high as the third round, he was a steal for the Lions who have looked to bolster their defense in the draft. Reid was a force on the field, he was Princeton’s first two-time All-American in twenty years, but was also active in music and religious life on campus. You can read more in a profile of Reid from Tuesday’s New York Times. Looks like a Tiger might be just what the Lions need.