Take a look at the 59 seed.

Um. Let’s get an instant replay on that puppy and blow it up for you:

I see what you did there. Irony duly noted. Who knew dodgeball brackets were such a wonderful venue for abortion humor?

Also, look out for “Psafe VS The Street at 10 PM,” which is randomly listed right at the top of the document. Not entirely sure how “The Street” will manifest itself as one dodgeball-playing entity, but I’m excited regardless. At best this will involve Public Safety officers storming the eating clubs, armed to the teeth, still bitter that we voted against giving them guns but making up for it with wicked sidearm. (The Beast will flow, balls will fly, and heads will roll.) Head out extra early this Thursday so as not to miss the show…?

P.S. We checked out our own spot on the bracket, and despite our less-than-illustrious history at this tournament, we are optimistic. Yes, Old Nassoul, consider that a challenge.

1000% Legitimate

Yes, Facebook, you convinced this impressionable pre-frosh. I saw your unsightly, vertically-skewed Princeton crest and I felt nothing but pure, unequivocal trust. I knew this was my school. Despite Princeton’s clearly-stated policy on the issue, I had faith that they were making an exception for me. That they were reaching out to me on a down-to-earth level — on Facebook, because they knew it would be convenient. And as if things couldn’t get any better, they were offering me a free scholarship, obviously a preferable alternative to the plethora of paid scholarships out there.

… but seriously, what kind of scammers pay for this stuff?

Free, and apparently epicly terrible

Anyone noticed the shrink-wrapped box sets littering dorm hallways, mysteriously titled “Wild Animus”? We did, and our fancy was struck, so we decided to do a little digging. What are these bizarre boxes? How did they get here? And what do they want with us?

We took to the information superhighway in search of answers. Our first stop was an old blog post by a fellow truth-searcher, one Robert Nagle of the blog idiotprogrammer. It turns out Wild Animus’s author, Rich Shapero, made his fortune doing something with technology and decided to use his fortune to publish and give out free copies of his book.  Over time, he’s added CDs and other media to create a sort of immersive literary experience (an experience someone recently decided Princeton students needed to have).

But here’s the thing: apparently, the book sucks. Like, really sucks. Here’s a collection of reviews from around the web:

“Deficating [sic] onto a page does not count as writing a novel.” – anonymous, idiotprogrammer

“This is easily one of the worst books I have ever read.” – Patrick Burnett, amazon.com

“Worst book ever.” – cade, goodreads.com

And, to be fair, a slightly more positive review:

“I haven’t read the book yet, but the spoken word CD series is worth a listen to anyone interested in psychedelics or survival journeying or vision questing.” – Janto, idiotprogrammer

So there you have it. Apparently this thing has gone global, with people receiving and ignoring the book in Europe, North America, and possibly Asia. But since Princeton students have so much time for pleasure reading (and a vibrant psychedelic community), I’m sure “Wild Animus” is going to catch on here in Central Jersey. Or, you know, not.

(image source: http://www.richshapero.com/images/store_boxset.png)