LIVEBLOG: Dean’s Date, Spring 2012

5:01PM – The End!

Well done folks! Another Dean’s Date conquered. In the past 24 hours, The Ink has bravely soldiered on with you in solidarity and camaraderie.

We cried over the rainy day forecast. We laughed at baby/animal videos (@LRW- shouldn’t it be lime puppies?). We consumed inordinate amounts of bacon and beef jerky. We translated ancient Latin graffiti on Butler desks. (Final verdict: after much debate spawned over the single phrase–#classicsmajorproblemsmuch– the consensus is that it should read Virum qui Princetonam petat non laudamus, or “We do not praise the man who seeks Princeton.”)

Good work team! Now go forth like an Infinitely Drunk Ron Swanson.

For the musical accompaniment, watch with this:


4:51 PM- Forbes Sweet Forbes

And just as 5 o’clock draws near, the sun comes out.



Writewritewritewritewrite (or if you’re handing your paper in person… runrunrunrunrun!)


4:14 PM – TwoD kitchen, waiting for the bread to finish baking

Just got this PSA from Mathey’s Dean of Student Life, Matt Frawley. I’m sure the other colleges’ DSLs sent out similar messages, but in case not, here’s your warning about partying too hard tonight:

Frawley PSA--UPC blog45 more minutes. Go! Go! Go!


4:10 PM- 1915 Hall

Lemon babies are the best! Thanks EL! But, have you ever see a lemon … puppy?

Almost there, guys!!


3:46 PM- Woolworth

Less than 1.5 hours left… and we haven’t had a baby post yet?


2:45 PM – Inkspace

As the deadline draws nearer, vulgarity ensues.

(ongoing Facebook chain)

  • Sprawled out all over my desk
  • Preceded by dread, followed by binge drinking
  • They don’t mind if everything I say is BS
  • I get to yell really loud at midnight
  • The band plays when I’m almost finished
  • We spend 36 hours in a library together and then I never think about them again
  • Size 12
  • I do them with the footnotes
  • Always happy to ‘grant me an extension’
  • No appendix
  • either a C or D
  • with enough caffeine to stay awake so I can finish
  • bound in leather
  • you put her in a box in Corwin Hall after you’re done
  • when I’m halfway through, the Committee on Discipline sends me an email telling me to be careful

We like our women like we like our Dean’s Date: Drinking the Ink. (Got more? Put them in the comments!)


2:00 PM –

With 3 hours left… are you freaking out? Manatees are here to comfort you!

from the Twitterverse

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Cheer up! Watch me bonk my nose into glass for you!"]Cheer up! Watch me bonk my nose into glass for you![/caption]


12:56 – Lunchtime = Pump-up Time

A few gems from our friends over at Buzzfeed:

Outasight believes in YOU! Finishing a paper is just as inspirational as tightrope walking and spearfishing and dramatic sports victories. Right? Right.

(Analysis and link here)

Also, just in case, you know, this day is shaping up to be a downer, check out these tips to turn it around.


12:38 – Edwards 4ever

It’s an inconvenient time for writer’s block, but I have it. So I consulted one of my favorite rappers, MF DOOM, who prescribes “nature,” “silence,” and “playing with children.”

Now excuse me while I go out in the cold rain to wordlessly interact with some townie skateboarders.

— GN

12:23 PM – The Internet

Thought Lady Gaga was the first to wear an all-meat outfit (2010VMAs)?

Think again (thanks, MTB ’13):

Oh, and by the way: According to Us Weekly, Lady Gaga brought out a new “meat dress” on Monday in Tokyo–this time it’s vegetarian.


11:16 AM – The club, full of ballers, and they pockets, full grown.

Dixon Li ’14 and his Dean’s Date paper: “Beyoncé and the Politics of Bling, or B(ling)eing a Woman”, which I swear was an outtake from this HairPin article: Beyoncé Songs Re-Imagined as Undergraduate Theses in Women and Gender Studies.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="506" caption="You can believe everything they say about us humanities kids now."]You can believe everything they say about us humanities kids now.[/caption]

Favorite words in here include: “objectified,” “sartorial,” and “hustla.”

Now I want some Beyoncé.


10:30 AM- Under the covers

A way to relax = reading about porn, CM? How bout food porn?

You can devour this Dean’s Date like you can devour grasshopper shaped pancakes! amirite?


10:16 AM – Roma Library

No better way to relax in the morning than read about porn, am I right guys??? I found this article too interesting not to repost. Mind-boggling. Essential reading. Superlatives.


10:06 AM – Interwebz

How I feel at the beginning of a paper:

lalalalala I haz such gud arguments

How I feel toward the end of a paper:



9:49 AM-Edwards Basement

Nothing like a nice swig of beer to get you through Dean”s Date. (?)



9:39 AM – Small World

I don’t think Firestone is ever quite so well-populated at this early (okay, actually not-so-early) hour any of the other 364 days of the year. Small World, on the other hand, is surprisingly empty, at least in terms of the student crowd. Maybe it’s because that one-hour Internet limit is like built-in Self Control. But they have caffeine! And I don’t think you could nod off through the morning rush there if you tried.


9:12 AM – Jammin’ to Call Me Maybe in ma room

I was craving some bacon for breakfast.

Not anymore.


8:57 AM – Frist Computer Cluster

I’ve moved to one of the giant screen cluster computers
Because if I write at a screen of large proportions
Maybe my thoughts will also increase proportionally
In largeness
Maybe I’ll drum up more courage for this deadline
Meet this blank white space with FURY. VERBOSITY. AND CLARITY OF MIND.

Maybe I’ll be better able to view all these tumblrs in their full glory.

Everyone in Frist is like this at the moment.

Everyone in Frist is like this at the moment.

Screen shot 2012-05-15 at 8.56.24 AM

Replace “salad” with “my papers.”

Screen shot 2012-05-15 at 8.56.50 AM

An animal within an animal!! WE MUST GO DEEPER.

Screen shot 2012-05-15 at 8.57.14 AM

I am a lonely cheeto.


7:40 AM- In bed… at least, I was

Until someone started mowing the lawn outside my window D:

Seriously, it’s Dean’s Date and some of us just got to bed. Have you no mercy?


7:03 AM – Frist Food Gallery = home

Ask, and you shall receive. Here is my pump up, happy music for the morning. And check out the lyrics – so relevant. Here are some choice snippets:

Keep on moving to the first rays of dawn/keeping it on till the sun moves on/keepin till the night time all along

Reach for the sky/keep your eye on the prize

Time to grow and be a man/want to fly high like Peter Pan/no more never never land

(Here’s what’s really going through my mind now: “Jane Addams and her feminist care ethics showed a development of a new line of philosophical thinking… I want pancakes that popcorn just wasn’t filling…ok anyways…so Jane Addams created this settlement home and included diverse voices…Where is everyone? Are you guys awake? Come on, come on. I need company. Wake up get up go…come onnnn…”)

[But actually. Where are you all? Anyone awake? Bueller? Bueller?]


5:35 AM – Frist Food Gallery (do you really think I’m going to move now?)

Good moooooooooornin’ Princeton! Rise and shine and go get ’em!


It’s now also time for a story! Quickly: once during sophomore year, a newly made friend was making small talk.

Her: “So what’s up in your life nowadays? Like, what do you think of all the time?”

Me: “Uh…”

Her: “Here, I’ll make it easier for you. What was the first thing you thought of today when you woke up?”

Me (too fast): “I didn’t.”


Me: “…I didn’t wake up. I’ve been up. ALL NIGHT.”


Ah, well. The end is in sight.


4:13 AM – Frist Food Gallery

Just a couple of announcements, ya’ll. From one hungry person to another: keep an eye out for these important milestones in our lovely morning together.

5:30 AM – Starbucks opens.

5:43 AM – Sun rise.

7:00 AM – Food gallery open.

7:30 AM – Dining halls open.

8:00 AM – U-Store open.

8:00 AM – Witherspoon’s (in Frist) and Studio 34 open.

9:00 AM – C-Store opens.


3:54 AM –  Frist Food Gallery

And a hearty amen to that

Cha’yra, you speak the truth. After the frenzied mob of the Frist, 2 am-Nachos variety came and went…well, that was effectively the end of any convenient food source in the Campus Center for the next six hours.  Things are getting real…

And here’s where The Wa+ A Good Friend becomes vital to our valiant Dean’s Date efforts. Thanks to my study buddy JB ’13, who decided to get ‘fresh air’ and take the long walk to Wawa. She returns 30 minutes later, with 2 apples, a bag of popcorn, and the best surprise of all:


It reads: “This is your official Dean’s Date Punching Bag (but not too hard). What are you punching?” Perfect. Motivation could not come in a better or zanier form. Here’s a shout out to everyone still up – you can do it!



3:05 AM – You know it’s way too late when Press Club is posting Dragon Ball Z videos

This is my love note to AYS.


2:58 AM – Frist, chugging along

Hi! Turn your volume on full blast and press play:



Haha. Alright, keep writing. You know how we do.


2:02 AM- Forbes Study Room

Whew, finished citing a source. That was a lot of hard work… reddit break!

For all of you who are missing PFML as much as I am:


For all of you who want to feel guilty about procrastinating on meaningless websites:

(Wait, you think Reddit is a meaningless website too? SHUN THE NONBELIEVER!)

For all of you who are clueless about your paper but think that Yahoo! Answers is too shady:


1:53 AM – Having a Fever

And the only prescription is MOAR BABY ANIMALS.


1:45 AM- Surfing the Web

STORY TIME! The other day, my friend and I went for a run (by run, I really mean walkrun/runwalk, but whatevs) around Princetontown.  I don’t really remember how/where/when this happened, but we somehow ended up in front of a house with a little wire fence in the front yard. Enclosed in the fence was a fuzzy white bunny, which was hopping around adorably.  We pet the bunny for a while before continuing on our way.  Anyways, the purpose of this story is to say that I could definitely use more cuteness in my life right now. In normal circumstances, I would just try to find the bunny house again, but alas Dean’s Date calls. Youtube videos must suffice.

Theme of the hour? ANIMAL FRIENDS!

1. Bunny and puppy

2. Dog and orangutan

3. Dog and cheetah

Awww.  Okay, now back to writing…


1:22 AM – More stressed than hungry, but still excited to see…

[caption id="attachment_12913" align="aligncenter" width="370" caption="Chai and cookies! See you at 9:30."]Chai and cookies! See you at 9:30.[/caption]

infini-T, you are my favorite.

Also, in anticipation of tomorrow’s rainy forecast:

[caption id="attachment_12914" align="aligncenter" width="515" caption="After the cookies. I mean, GN said that Dean's Date = dietary freedom.."]After the cookies. I mean, GN said that Dean's Date = dietary freedom..[/caption]

Of course these updates got me checking all my other favorite Nassau spots’ Facebook pages, and LO AND BEHOLD:

[caption id="attachment_12915" align="aligncenter" width="352" caption="YES."]YES.[/caption]

Princeton (Township), I love you.


1:15 AM – Feeling Awkward in the Study Lounge

WARNING! NOT (REALLY) SAFE FOR WORK:  I might have just written the most sexually explicit academic essay in Princeton history.

CHALLENGE: Usurp my wordle with your own outrageous paper of the evening.


1:04 AM-Edwards

In case you have very good self control and are not checking email (although why are you reading this blog…?), the Press Club is passing along Dean Dunne’s friendly reminder about academic integrity and the Honor Code. COD-UPC blog-AK

1:00 AM- Physically = Frist TV Area, Mentally = closer and closer to sleepppp

Like a cold during finals week or a fly in your corned beef sandwich, the Frist piano player always seems to appear whenever you least want him/her to.  Fortunately, though, holed-up paper-writing residents of our commonly misspelled campus center won’t have to deal with extra musical (or not) clammer tonight.



And a closer look reveals….


“Unfortunately the piano is not working properly. Please refrain from use.”

Whether an intentional trick on the part of a curmudgeon or a serious piano problem (piano disease?), I’ll take it! Praise Zeus!


12:31 AM- Forbes Study Room

Going on Facebook and seeing posts from non-Princeton friends is starting to become really depressing.

DEAN'S DATECurse you, Princeton, and your ridiculous schedule for making us have finals while everyone else is already out for the summer!

At least one Rutgers kid is sort of sympathetic toward us? (Thanks best fran.)


11:30PM – Whitman Breakfast/Dinner/Exclusive Thing
My friend and I just had a brilliant idea.
Inspired by this little alarm clock, the SnūzNLūz, which for every time you hit snooze, donates a certain amount of your own money (from your bank account) to the hated charity of your choice.
So you have multiple things due on Dean’s Date, and you need to make some deadlines to get it all done.
1) Pick a time in which you MUST finish a certain thing. Say 12am midnight tonight.
2) For every 1 minute you go over your self-imposed deadline, you must donate $.10 to a charity that you hate. So 1 hour (60minutes) is $6.00 to
For example (from ThinkGeek)
Are you a butcher? Donate to PETA!
Are you a land developer? Donate to the Wilderness Society!
Enjoy your freedom? (Blue state version) Donate to the GOP!
Enjoy your freedom? (Red state version) Donate to MoveOn.Org!
Are you a hippie? Donate to the American Coal Foundation!
Are you pro-life? Donate to Planned Parenthood!

Personally? I’m setting myself up to donate to the National Organization of Marriage. Get at me Robbie George.

12:10 AM – Firestone Trustee Reading Room

The caffeine from the 2013 Starbucks Study Break is wearing off…just in time for the Dean’s Date Fairies to deliver a much-needed sugar boost! God bless you, people who feed me.

(Though, to the fairy that pegged me in the right shin with a Milky Way: Imma get you.)


12:02 AM-Firestone, C-Floor still

All the overhead lights spontaneously turned off thirty seconds ago in the room I’m in. Just in time for the Dean’s Date Fairies to come by!


11:49 PM – Marquand

Among the many who are not thrilled to be in the library on dean’s date eve are those who are actually there for work work.  Here is a small taste of what they have to deal with.


This message contributed (with some frustration, but no hard feelings) by your friendly Marquand desk workers.


11:30PM – Whitman Breakfast/Dinner/Exclusive Thing

My friend and I just had a brilliant idea.


[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="222" caption="Inspired by this little alarm clock, the SnūzNLūz, which for every time you hit snooze, donates a certain amount of your own money (from your bank account) to the hated charity of your choice."]Inspired by this little alarm clock, the SnūzNLūz, which for every time you hit snooze, donates a certain amount of your own money (from your bank account) to the hated charity of your choice.[/caption]

So, you have multiple things due on Dean’s Date, and you need to make some deadlines to get it all done.


1) Pick a time in which you MUST finish a certain thing. Say 12am midnight tonight.

2) For every 1 minute you go over your self-imposed deadline, you must donate $.10 to a charity that you hate. WARNING: This will add up.

For example (from ThinkGeek):

  • Are you a butcher? Donate to PETA!
  • Are you a land developer? Donate to the Wilderness Society!
  • Enjoy your freedom? (Blue state version) Donate to the GOP!
  • Enjoy your freedom? (Red state version) Donate to MoveOn.Org!
  • Are you a hippie? Donate to the American Coal Foundation!
  • Are you pro-life? Donate to Planned Parenthood!

Personally? I’m setting myself up to donate to the National Organization of Marriage. Get at me Robbie George.


11:15 PM-Firestone, C-Floor

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a Macintosh Classic II. Guess I should come down to the C-Floor more often?

The note on top says: "Prof. John V. Fleming/C-II-J/Firestone Library"

The note on top says: Prof. John V. Fleming/C-II-J/Firestone Library”. Professor Fleming gave the Baccalaureate Address in 2007.

That book next to the Mac is a copy of The Holy Bible. Still not sure what either of those is doing on the C-Floor, but given the label, the computer at least is supposed to be here.


11:08 PM – Friend Center, because papers are our friends! THEY ARE FRIENDS.

Midnight nears. You’re heading into the thick of the crunch. The heart of the fray. The eye of the storm. It’s early enough that the caffeine from your free Starbucks run hasn’t yet worn off, but late enough that you need to get down to business. Dean’s Date requires strategy. This is no joke. In the pre-12 a.m. phase, while our mental capabilities remain relatively intact, you must seize the moment. Minimize time waste, distraction (apart from this blog, duh), and later distress by maximizing FOCUS. What do you need?

You need staticky color noise.

[caption id="attachment_12866" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Comes in shades of white, pink, and brown."]Picture 23[/caption]

You need fake rain.

[caption id="attachment_12867" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="This site may be redundant if it's actually raining outside. Is it? I don't know. #librarylife"]Picture 24[/caption]

You need a personalized chorus of nature sounds.

[caption id="attachment_12868" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="I recommend a mix of Snowstorm, Lemur, and Whip-Poor-Will."]I recommend a mix of Snowstorm, Lemur, and Whip-Poor-Will.[/caption]

You need Zen. Breathe. Write. Let it flow.

(The time for pump-up playlists comes later, when we’re struggling to stay awake. Submit your music sites in the comments! PLEASE.)


10:32 PM – Firestone Trustee Reading Room

Tip: There’s no use in coming to Firestone now. Every seat (and more importantly, every outlet) is occupied by students who look like they’ll fight to the death to stay glued in their spots. In any case, this is what focused and not-on-Facebook looks like….

[caption id="attachment_12861" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Scholars in solidarity"]Scholars in solidarity[/caption]

…Until the Marching Band storms in. They’re making the rounds across campus in a beloved (?) Dean’s Date tradition.

And here they are at 9:39 at Frist (h/t AK ’14). Note the reactions on a scale of amused to perturbed to downright angry.

One more still, 10:32 at Marquand (h/t EC ’12)


10:27 PM – Edwards still

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="312" caption="My vice."][/caption]

This year I learned that the pressures of Dean’s Date obliterate any and all religious/dietary convictions. Though I spend most of my life piously eschewing cow meats, all these hours alone in front of a glowing computer screen have left me wanting something to chew on, something small but substantive to stave off the hunger pangs. So I thought: why not an intensely flavorful, low-calorie, heavily processed and dehydrated meatstuff? An impulse purchase of “Spicy Sweet” beef jerky ensued. I gnawed at the meat strips with much guilt and glee this afternoon. Vaguely sensing that this was my gateway drug into red meat proper, but not really too concerned, I later bought and devoured another packet after dinner, this one a subtle variant: “Sweet & Hot.” Only after confessing my sins to UPC alum BKN ’10, who in abject horror, directed me to the nutrition facts, did I realize I had consumed roughly 132% of my daily recommended sodium intake. If nothing else, let this serve as a cautionary tale for all you mindlessly munching your way through Dean’s Date. Now excuse me while I consume several gallons of water.

– GN

10:04 PM – My Inbox

Another taste of what’s to come, thanks to a soon-to-be winged friend:

Dean's Date


9:54 PM- Forbes

So PrincetonFML has been down for days—what is up with that? Are you dying without your daily dosage of FMLs? I feel your pain. That’s why I went around campus tonight and collected some anonymous FMLs from other students. Nothing like other people’s misery to alleviate your own, amiright?

More stuff due for Dean’s Date than I had for my JP. MLIA.

Got the flu 48 hours before my 25-page research paper is due… Still haven’t started. FML.

I found out that I have no housing for Reunions, and I didn’t get any USG storage. FML.

Two sculpture projects due Thursday. I only have half an ear [sculpted]. FML.

I have 20 pages of terrible essay. FML.

Keep chuggin’ along, Princeton; you can do it!


9:45 – Dillon Ghost Town

Too swamped to make it to the gym tonight? Don’t worry. Apparently so was everybody else. Screen Shot 2012-05-14 at 9.33.52 PM-ECS

9:35 PM – Facebook

A GLORIOUS update to the Princeton “Latin Graffiti” translation mystery from EL’s post earlier:

Reads: Virium qui Princetonam petat non laudamus.

From Chris Cochran ’14, bonafide Classics Major:

It’s either gobbledygook or really really bad Latin. [The previous] translation cannot be correct. Virium is genitive and cannot be the object of laudamus. Qui should be the subject of petat, but has no clear antecedent. Princetonam is a very poorly formed neo-Latin word but is nevertheless accusative and is properly the object not the subject of petat. My best guess would be to say that the author of the graffito confused vis, viris with vir, viri and that it should read “Virorum qui Princetonam petat non laudamus”. That change would give it grammatical meaning. The next question is what “Princetonam” means, since it doesn’t follow any of the standard conventions for neo-Latin word formation. It is clearly feminine (unless the author has been really strange and in inventing a new word has also chosen to make that word one of the few masculine first declension nouns), but could either be a substantive adjective referring to a person, i.e. “female Princetonian”, or it could modify the implied “Universitas”. If the author intended the “Universitas” reading, however, it would make more sense to use “hominum” instead of “virorum” since there would be no reason to stress biological sex, but then the author clearly has forgotten a lot of other subtleties of the Latin language. Therefore, this is my best guess of a translation: “We do not praise him among men who is inclined to seek Princetonian women.

There you have it folks.


9:33 PM – Debugging the blog instead of doing my Paper

Never mind the little person behind the curtain.


9:14 PM – outside of Woolworth

Coming soon to a study space near you:

Screen Shot 2012-05-14 at 9.16.23 PM-ECS

9:05PM – Page 8/10 on my 2/3rd Dean’s Date Paper

UPDATE ON THE BUTLER GRAFFITI IN LATIN. Classics Major claims it reads: “We don’t praise the strength the Princetonian seeks.” Mysterious. Are they referring to the Prince or to the average Princeton student?

-VC on behalf of EL

8:59 PM – Friend Center

For those feeling discouraged about the night ahead, might we suggest a piece of well-timed Princeton sentimentality? UPC generally doesn’t reblog from the Prince, but in the spirit of Dean’s Date solidarity, check out this goodbye column by Camille Framroze ’12. It’s garnered over 200 likes on Facebook already, and inspired an outpouring of Orange and Black love from the depths of our stressed-out undergraduate student body:

Picture 19Picture 21Picture 22

Princeton love. The night is young. It’s only 9 pm, and we’re at the #bestdamnplaceofall. Let’s go, y’all, we can do this.


8:40 PM-Butler Library

If you’re slaving away in a carrell right now, take comfort in the fact that generations of Princetonians before you may have slaved away in that very carrell. While we may never know their identities, at least in Butler library, we know what they were thinking at the time.

[caption id="attachment_12799" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Fuck orgo"]Fuck orgo[/caption]

Oh, you sad, sad pre-meds.

[caption id="attachment_12802" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="A pleasant surprise."]
YOU CAN DO IT![/caption]

Notice how right underneath this single ray of optimism are the words: “SAVE ME!” (“Me first!”)

[caption id="attachment_12801" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="All that despair :("]All that despair :([/caption]

Another pre-med? Or what I’ll feel like at 5 a.m.

[caption id="attachment_12800" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Virium qui Princetonam petat non laudamus"]Virium qui Princetonam petat non laudamus[/caption]

And an appeal to our readers who know Latin: post the translation of this graffiti in the comments! Google Translate isn’t helping.


8:33 PM- Late Meal

Three minutes after Late Meal opened, and the sushi is already gone.

This happened last semester too, y0u’d think they’d see a pattern and increase their order.



8:22 PM- Starbucks

Any non-juniors may want to consider an alternate caffeination station, at least until 2013 free coffee hours end at 10pm.


Coffee mayhem. It’s an only slightly more civilized prelude to the 2am feeding frenzy in Frist.


8:11 PM- Whitman College

Any non-Whitmanite planning on sneaking into the aforementioned breakfast tonight at 10 better think again. Now, on top of Whitman’s exclusive “college nights,” it looks like they have constructed a special barricade to keep out intruders, just one step short of building a moat.


(but seriously, with evidence of Reunions all around us, it may be so hard to concentrate, but also so motivational. Persevere!)


7:32 PM- the dark depths of Patton’s basement

Looking for something cheerful?  Truly, nothing beats Princeton’s hour-by-hour weather forecast for the next 21.5 hours. Just a peek:

Preview of “Hourly Weather Forecast for Princeton -”

Nice and cheery, ain’t it?  Seriously, y’all, we are literally missing nothing by being trapped indoors until 5pm tomorrow.  (Also, extra-credit points if you contribute sunrise pictures to’s Princeton uploads page at around 5:42am tomorrow).  Time to hole up in your room and stock up that mini-fridge! Keep calm and carry on.


7:16 PM- Whitman Lounge

DEAR ‘PRINCE‘ : We’d like to claim rights to the illustrious P.G. Sittenfeld (now Cincinnati City Councilman Sittenfeld!), the author of your favorite Dean’s Date poem that you post every year, who sits on our Alumni Board. Press Club lore has it that we made him cry on his Roast.

Dear P.G.: We love you, but you’d think after being subjected to brutal investigative journalism from a bunch of newbie freshman into the depths of your personal life, you’d know better than to run for public office.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="230" caption="Denial! NBD."]This the face of the future US president.[/caption]


6:14 PM- Outside Wilcox

Are you in desperate need of study space? Is the library too crowded? We’ve got you covered.


(It’s a shame they took the Student Colony down before Dean’s Date.)


6:07 PM- Firestone, Level 3

Everyone copes with stress differently: Some people pig out, others watch TV, and still others… draw portraits on the walls of Firestone? I’m no artist, but I’d say this kid’s got talent. Hopefully, he can produce as fine a Dean’s Date paper as this drawing…



5:54 PM – Spelman



OK Princeton, I get that humor is all about the right timing, but sending this right as we head into Dean’s Date crunch was kind of too ironic for me to handle. We just finished our JPs! And started our 24-hour push! Hope was in sight! I refuse to think about this.

Denial! NBD.

My life is just my papers, coffee, THIS LIVEBLOG, and the next 23 hours. Let’s gooo.


5:51 PM – My Inbox

Dear Claire Fowler,

Just had to personally thank you for your email notice about carrels – rather, my “Firestone Library Assigned Space” – earlier this afternoon. Obviously, there’s nothing I’d rather think about on Dean’s Date Eve than applying for the privilege of locking myself in my own personal thesis jail cell in the bowels of Firestone for much of next year.


The Class of 2013


5:46 PM – Roma Library

If you survive Dean’s Date, you might get to witness some of the events on this TIMELINE OF THE FAR FUTURE! A few notables:

  • 11 million: “The moon Phobos collides with the surface of Mars.”
  • 1.3 billion: “Eukaryotic life dies out. Only prokaryotes remain.”
  • 1065 years from now: “Assuming that protons do not decay, estimated time for rigid objects like rocks to rearrange their atoms and molecules via quantum tunneling. On his timescale all matter is liquid.”

At least we’ve all got something to look forward to!


5:30 PM – 1981 Hall, Whitman

Desperately need help writing that paper? LOOK NO FURTHER THAN ESSAYTYPER.COM.

Essay Typer to the rescue!

Just put in your general topic (examples: “African American studies”, “economics,” “Freudian psychology”) and START TYPING ANYTHING. Seriously. IT’S MAGICAL.

Actually, it’s just Wikipedia. But I tried it with my gender and sexuality studies paper, and I’m not going to lie, it was sounding pretty good up to a point!

For those with more STEM-based final projects, may I suggest to you


5:14 PM – Edwards Basement

My reaction to public study space filth used to be absolute disdain, but apparently I’ve since overcome my self-righteousness and general sense of hygiene: somehow I’ve managed to lockdown a cluster computer for the last few days through a strategic mix of water bottles, gum wrappers (no, not the chewed thing itself), books, and my actual physical presence in the chair. The last one proves most effective. And so, with this space securely mine, these papers will end exactly where they began. I’ll be here most of the hours between now and 5 PM,wit a nap-sleep in between and maybe a pitstop at tonight’s Whitman Midnight Breakfast (starts at 10:00 PM — only open to current residents and the Whitman diaspora, suckas).

– GN

5:00 PM – Outside East Pyne

Those clouds, today’s weather, and the cigarettes outside Marquand and the Architecture library are not accidental. We all know what time it is. Break out the sweatpants, run from Whitman Library: Dean’s Date is upon us.

Lucky for you, we here at The Ink have a tradition of recording, in up-to-the-minute fashion, the final twenty-four hours before our dreaded 5 o’clock Tuesday deadline. That’s right, as in semesters past, we’re taking our collective despair to the internet. We’re “liveblogging” Dean’s Date. Never felt more alone? Crazy guy on C-Floor Firestone starting to seem like your only friend? Fear not. We’ll be updating this post with news and happenings from around campus, thoughts and comments on this communal descent into insanity, and a year’s supply of quickmemes, hashtags, and, as always, YouTube clips.

So take a minute from your Dean’s Date ego – we all know someone’s more screwed than us – and realize that you don’t have to suffer alone. Check back with us throughout the night. We have some tricks up our sleeve to get you to that deadline. Carpel tunnel kicking in, coffee like water, C-Store swipes on C-store Swipes: Dean’s Date begins now.


LIVEBLOG: Dean’s Date, Fall 2011 PART 2

9:18 AM – The Aftermath

Like you, we were so caught up in the post-Dean’s Date rush we forgot to actually finish the blog. We sincerely hope you had better things to do last night than ponder our disappearance.

At this point, there’s not much left to say except congrats: you’ve conquered the monster once again. In celebration, a look back, courtesy of some Dean’s Date all-stars last spring.

Screen shot 2012-01-18 at 9.18.32


4:00PM- Heading over the McCosh courtyard

Free giveaways (yeah right, I’ve never gotten one). Food. Fun. Jeff Nunokawa. Be there. Ciao.


3:20 – Classroom in Lewis (yup, snagged it)

In the spirit of the two most motivational things on the planet (cute animals and the promise of sleep, obviously), I bring you a message from Shironeko, the world’s most relaxed cat:


YOU CAN DO IT! And in less than two hours, you too can pass out amongst more alert friends.


2:41 PM- The Wa

We Princetonians often have terrible eating habits—no real surprise there. I just chatted with Lominy who worked at The Wa from 1-9:30 p.m. yesterday. Check out what he had to say:

Did you notice Princeton students buying a lot of food last night?

They buy a lot of stuff. They eat a lot, too. With the sandwiches, they put a lot of ingredients on…. They ask for like all kinds of peppers or all kinds of condiments. It makes our job harder because everything just falls apart.

Did you get grossed out?

Yes, yes.

Was this just last night?

No, almost every day.


You are what you eat?


2:37PM-My room

My roommate’s stack of books, piled precariously high on top of our mini-fridge for the past week, has still not fallen.


Titles of note: “Hamas and Suicide Terrorism”

“The New Oxford Annotated Bible”

“Inside Al-Qaida and the Taliban”

“The Historical Figure of Jesus”

“Allah, Liberty, and Love: The Courage to Reconcile Faith and Freedom”


1:25PM – bed

Baby animals, meet Bent Objects.

Warning: more violence and innuendo than you’d expect from inanimate household products.


1:06 PM – Somewhere in the depths of Firestone

“Having caffeine in you is like being drunk but also smart. Drunk-smart. You know what I mean? It’s like being drunk off your own intelligence.”

Optimism or insanity?

Speaking of which, it is likely that somewhere in the last 24 hours your computer screens have started to look a little less like that Word doc, and a little more like this.

T minus 4 hours !!


12:52 p.m.-Forbes Library

Just woke up from a glorious 2 hour nap after sending in my paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For all of you still typing away, here’s a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood blogger. DON’T DO THIS:

dean's date


12:37 pm — Chancellor Green

There’s no shame in procrastination, unless of course your Dean’s Date paper actually is going to save us all from the apocalypse or cure cancer.

But for the rest of you, if judgmental glances from the guy sitting next to you are keeping you from enjoying lemon baby, sleeping kittens & the like, try stealth procrastinating with Vanishd, which lets you browse behind a Word document, PowerPoint, or other innocent cover. Note: try not to laugh out loud at what appears to be a blank Excel spreadsheet, then we’ll just think you’re crazy.


12:04 pm — Wallace Library

The key to the last 5 hours of Dean’s Date is tricking yourself into thinking that what you’re doing actually matters. That you’re on a really important mission. A mission far more important than getting a passing grade (or, let’s be real, turning in the paper.)

So go ahead and pretend that your lab report is about the next apocalyptic strain of influenza. Have you just spent the last thirty hours coding? You’re saving the world from Skynet, even if no one knows it yet. If you don’t finish that Gender Studies paper, a sloth somewhere dies. Raise the stakes!

To that end, some epic songs to get you going.


12:00 PM- Still…floor.

I love sloths.


11:50 AM – Whitman Library

At this point, everyone on campus looks like they’re about right here (ripped from a real essay):


While I’m posting, I may as well give the U-Store some love for the delicious iced tea and high-strength cough syrup they sold me last night. A plug for the store that serves all purposes, straight from their post in the aforementioned Prince article’s comments section (i.e. the early action piece). Caption credit goes to Nick Martin: “amidst a sea of diatribes against low admissions rates and reverse racism, the u-store gets in some quality ad time.”

U-Store comment


11:34AM-My floor

Who needs caffeine when you can have an endless supply of encouraging compliments?

fav: They should name an ice cream flavor after you


10:58 AM – My bed…sort of

On the topic of babies (is it bad that lemon baby feels like it just happened?), don’t you wish you could hold up under pressure as well as this one?



Andrew Bird is the best soundtrack. He’s a sort of funky-indie instrumentalist with some vocals, a little blue-grassy, and most of all, chill
Andrew Bird channel



STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING. Watch this. I kid you not, it’s the best 2 minutes you’ll ever waste:

For anyone trying to read a textbook at breakfast and eat at the same time, this is ABSOLUTELY necessary, unless you need to turn more than one page. (Just get me a hamster, don’t ask questions.)


10:27 a.m. – OIT

Last night’s slushy downpour seemed a depressingly appropriate soundtrack for our collective mindset. And though the forecast today is still looking pretty bleak (literally, below, and figuratively), all our favorite caffeine refueling stations are open and there are still six and a half hours to hit those page limits. We just might pull this  off.

Unless, of course, you’re one of the three people who came into the tech clinic with computers that won’t even turn on.

See? It could be much, much worse.


10:18 a.m. – edge of delirium

Good morning!  (although I’m guessing it’s not)  Oh what a lovely day for… finishing your papers in a dark cave.


9:53 AM – still stuck between Adrienne Rich and Gayle Rubin

Like the seventh Harry Potter movie, we’ve decided this blog is so massive that it requires a second installment. AND NOW FOR THE THRILLING CONCLUSION.

Is it just me, or is every conversation I have from now until Intersession some version of this?


Welcome Back To School, Kind Of

The Princeton January is a strange beast. All your friends at home have occupied a clean empty happy space in between terms, while your semester has been grotesquely severed by the calendar year and you gotta deal with the nasty little end of it when you get back to campus. So while your pals are only maybe halfway through their vacation frolicking, you’re packing up and returning to the grind. Dean’s Date is a ticking time bomb and exams loom just after that. But alas, a twist: there are (with the exception of the occasional sadistic language course) no classes!

Imagine that!

The next few weeks are a blank slate, marred by a big ugly red X next Tuesday and a some more diffuse ones sprinkled in after that. I’ve got no rigorous daily schedule; I’m carving out my own day. And if you play your cards right, this can, ironically, be a kind of relaxing month, a weird reprieve from the day-to-day toil. This is not to say that I’m good at this — last winter’s reading period was a staggering burst of non-productivity for me. But it is theoretically possible. January is the existential crisis of the Princeton semester: it is exactly what you make of it. This, accordingly, brings me great dread. Sure hope I do it better this time around, even if it makes the next iteration of the liveblog a little less interesting for me. Godspeed to errybody out there.

[Oh, and because I know your Dean’s Date (and mine) will inevitably still suck, no matter how well you (or I) think I’m planning ahead, still read our liveblog!!!]