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“Roommate Steve”

A towel very similar to the one I was left wearing after fire safety locked me out of my room

A towel very similar to the one I was left wearing after fire safety locked me out of my room

I’ve got a bone to pick with Fire Safety.

This is new territory for me. See, I’ve never really had a problem with Fire Safety. Sure, it was a little disconcerting to return to my room last year and find a little note telling me someone had been there, looking through my stuff trying to find anything potentially unsafe or any “obstructions” to my “means of egress.” But since I never painted my room or did anything else to my living space that required much effort, I wasn’t fined, and Fire Safety inspections just seemed like a mysterious but ultimately benign event.

That all changed this morning, when the actions of Fire Safety left me feeling exposed, chilly, and embarrassed.

Here’s what happened:

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Now with magic calorie-reducing frosting!

Now with magic calorie-reducing frosting!

It had been a long and arduous Sunday night meeting for the members of the University Press Club. Midterms loomed, work piled up, and the passive voice was used. And above all, we were hungry.

Yup. U-Store time.

Veep David Walter ’11 led the charge (“the egg rolls are only $2!“) Having already eaten our way through all of Roommate Steve‘s blueberry Pop-Tarts in a regrettable yet delicious late night binge, we headed over to the toaster pastry section to see about some replacement snacks.

(Steve, if you’re reading this, I haven’t actually bought you more Pop-Tarts yet. Sorry about that. I feel bad.)

Coolly navigating our way through the myriad Pop-Tart options, we found ourselves contemplating strawberry, both in its frosted and unfrosted varieties. Naturally, we wanted to see how much worse the frosting was for us.

And that’s when things got weird. Because the Strawberry Frosted Pop-Tarts were a full 10 calories less per serving than their unfrosted cousins.

More confusion after the jump?

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