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“Robot Unicorn Attack”

2010. A year of the same old Princeton happenings–bitching about Dean’s Date, bitching about grade deflation, bitching about bad FML posts. But there were a few things that we think set Oh-Ten apart: Robot Unicorn Attack, Supreme Court dominance, and the demise of Four Loko.

Here’s what happened in 2010:

  • January: There were exams. There are always exams. For the four years you are at Princeton, you will never have a January that isn’t at least partly awful, on account of exams. However: Dean’s Date liveblog. —DCW
  • February: Chatroulette was just starting to become a campus phenomenon, and by phenomenon, we mean something that people would do at parties when they were drunk. In February, we brought you the story of three friends who ran into each other on Chatroulette–while 16,216 other users from around the world were also chatting and nexting each other. -AW
    All month, we crossed our fingers and it happened: February 10th – Snow Day! With classes cancelled, Princetonians’ inner five-year-olds came out to play. The day unfolded like a story — like Beginner’s Reading story from Highlights For Children where nothing bad ever happens ever and instead the characters perform one wholesome recreational activity after another until it’s time to go home and get warm and Mom’s made hot chocolate with marshmallows oh yeah! It was simple. It was uncool. It was so, so wonderful. It was: Snowball fight in the Junior Slums! Quick now sled down Whitman Hill! Hide out in an igloo! Build a snowman on Alexander Beach! How could you not go to bed that night with a smile? — DCW
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    “Really? Rainbows shooting out of unicorns? Really? And you have the nerve to blame Dean Malkiel for your grades.” — Shirley Tilghman, president of Princeton University

    “MLIG.” — Shirley Tilghman

    “I’m not sure how people enjoyed life before Lady Gaga, but I’m glad I don’t have to live in that world anymore.” — Zach Zimmerman ’10, occasional Lady Gaga impersonator

    “Le-Coq, Mom.” — Becca Foresman ’10, occasional washing machine impersonator

    “For the record, 18 middle-Dod, two years in Campbell, and 6a Patton Tower.” — Charlie Gibson ’65, on not being mentioned in this New York Times article on dorm rooms of famous alumni.

    Anna?

    Anna?

    Any self-respecting FML reader is by now painfully familiar with the “Anna?” phenomenon. If you were (un)fortunate enough to miss the meme entirely, it’s not too complicated: commenters arbitrarily posted “Anna?” in response to any FML, ranging from sniffing of asparagus pee to dubious use of back massagers. Feel free to browse– there are seven full pages of Anna?-posts, dating back to January 14th.  (Apparently this was really amusing for a really long period of time.) But who is Anna? The Mod gave us the scoop. Straight from the horse’s (unicorn’s?) mouth:

    I approved 80 “Anna?” comments [during midterms week]. For those of you who care to know, Anna is a friend of mine who knows my true identity. Her friends found out that she knew who I was, but she refused to tell them, so they decided to post her name as comments on amusing/embarrassing posts … Anna’s a real trooper though, and as far as I know, didn’t spill the beans.

    Trooper indeed. And as you may have noticed, Anna wasn’t that week’s only meme.

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    iphone-unicorn-wallpaper

    Such a majestic creature

    Stop reading this post right now if you want to get any work done this week.

    Seriously, stop reading. Close the browser and do something else.

    Still here? Ok, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

    Robot Unicorn Attack is the single most addictive game on the planet. We discovered it around 3:30 a.m. early Sunday morning. We didn’t go to bed until 6. We just couldn’t. Stop. Playing.

    The game designers describe their creation thusly on the website:

    Jump into the steel hooves of a robot unicorn, prancing freely amongst the lush purple grasses and rainbow-strewn backdrops of your wildest fantasies.

    Right. Anyways, the game’s delightfully simple controls and game play make it a pleasure to spend five hours at a time playing. Z makes the robot unicorn jump. X makes him (her?) crash through stars. And if you hit anything, you lose.

    But the highlight of the game is the original song that accompanies the game play, performed in the style of the great power ballads of the 80s. The opening line: “Open your eyes/I see/Your eyes are open.” Poetry!

    So why are we posting a flash game on a blog about Princeton? Because we’re college students. And we have stuff to do. And we need other, funner stuff to do while we should be doing the original, less fun stuff. That’s why.

    (P.S. Personal best as of Monday afternoon: 45,756.)

    (P.P.S. Monday night: 56,486. 87,884. Fear me, mortals. And post your high scores in the comments section!)