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“Princeton Township”

Image source: http://www.princeton.edu/artsandtransit/design/

You know that elaborate Arts and Transit Neighborhood the university was planning on building where the current Dinky station is?

Yeah, not happening.

After the Borough and the Township failed to agree on zoning for the neighborhood at Monday night’s joint meeting, Tilghman and Durkee decided to pull the plug on current plans.  Tilghman said that the University will soon begin working on designs for a new art complex in an area that would not require local approval.

This project had been in the works for over four years.  Tilghman pointed out that Frick Chemistry Laboratory was thought of, designed and built in the time it has taken for the Borough and Township to come to zero conclusion about approving zoning for the Arts and Transit Neighborhood.

Tilghman called Monday night a “go or no go” moment for the University, saying that she needed to know if the university could “move forward” with the project.

However, the only movement during the four-and-a-half hour meeting was the occasional eyebrow raise by Township Mayor Chad Goerner whenever a community member said something particularly ridiculous during the open-mic part of the meeting. “The bus is a stiletto pointed at the heart of the Dinky, bleeding off ridership and eventually killing it” was definitely the highlight of the night.

Read more about the story at AllPrinceton.

(image source: http://www.princeton.edu/artsandtransit/design/)

from AllPrinceton.com

Princeton Township is in yellow. The borough is the rectangle inside it. (from AllPrinceton.com)

Have no idea? Well, here’s a map. Princeton Township and Princeton Borough are one of New Jersey’s many “doughnut and hole” communities, where the smaller town is inside the larger one. It’s a consequence of 19th-century laws that allowed boroughs to incorporate with no more than a majority vote from its citiziens. It’s also one reason, many say, that the state has the nation’s highest property taxes.

Check out this not-so-brief explainer on AllPrinceton.com about why the two municipalities are divided–and what’s being done to bring them back together.

(Ed. Note: An earlier version of this post had a long meditation on Connor Diemand-Yauman and the popular reality TV show, The Amazing Race, which was a tad long for your weekly round-up. This rambling will be re-formatted and included in a new forthcoming post later today. Fun!)

Top of the agenda: This past weekend your uncle Sam got you drunk and made the sky explode with falling light.  When it was over he handed you a sparkle-stick and it was like the same thing (the sky-falling, not the uncle-drunking) but smaller.  It was pretty, too, but all of a sudden you felt empty and unsure.  You coughed and held the sparkler down away from your face.  What was the point of it all, the trails of light fading to tails of smoke?  What was the use?  And why was everybody around you dressed the same, matching reds and whites and blues?  Seriously ugly color combo, but still – they all looked so happy.  What did those people know that you didn’t?   Your uncle Sam said you just needed another drink.  Fine, you replied, but make sure it’s a real beer and not that awful low-carb stuff. He came back with the goods and you chugged it.  Then you doubled over and booted.

And then someone wrote a poem about it.

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The star in my
Hand is falling

All the uniforms know what’s no use

May I bow to Necessity not
To her hirelings.

  • Congratulations, you’ve just read something by W.S. Merwin ‘48, America’s next poet laureate (and, in case you haven’t get gotten hip to what the ’48 means ‘round these here parts – welcome freshmen! – a Princeton graduate from the Class of 1948).  According to the New York Times, Merwin, whose appointment was announced last week, is “an undisputed master” and enjoys composing his poems on paper napkins.
  • In my home state of Delaware there’s a man who sits in the Wilmington McDonalds and draws Mickey Mouse cartoons on napkin after napkin with a Sharpie.  He’s nice, albeit unlikely to ever hold a ceremonial post in the Obama administration.  I miss Delaware and I miss McDonalds.  Delaware I knew I’d have to leave behind once I went off to college, but McDonalds I figured would always be there.  Guess not. Thanks a lot, Princeton Borough.

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Seriously, I’m at what’s supposed to be the greatest university in the world, and yet there’s not a single McNugget to be had within walking distance?  What’s up with that, Princeton Borough Slash Township?

I mean, I know you think you’re just soo perfect and classy and Pleasantville that you won’t even allow stand-up signs on your sidewalks (stores… trying to sell stuff?  How very tacky of them; how very Plainsboro) — I mean, I’m not surprised or anything.  And maybe I’d have just learned to deal with this sorry state of affairs — accepted the situation for what it was — had it not been for the fact that Princeton’s already invited freakin’ Subway into the cool-kids club while McD’s still stands shivering out in the cold rain.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Subway — I’d shotgun their Sweet Onion sauce if they’d let me (/ if I fully knew what shotgunning meant?  People talk about it a lot at all the parties I don’t go to but I’m not exactly sure how you do it).

But you can just tell that the zoning board allowed Subway in because they thought to themselves, “Oh, but it’s so much healthier than McDonalds.  So much more in keeping with our small-town values.” You think Subway’s so different, so healthy? Yeah, ok.  Question: You ever eaten a double-meat double-cheese extra-mayo Italian BMT? Yeah, neither have I.  But my friend did once, and then he had a heart attack.  IN THE RESTAURANT.

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