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“pranks”

The scene: Wednesday, 12:30 pm, outside of Frist.

The crimes: Assaulting passerby’s with ‘toilet paper,’ false advertising, and generating general mayhem.

The perpetrator: Chou Chou ‘13

Your not-so-friendly neighborhood TP distributor

Your not-so-friendly neighborhood TP distributor

People mingling outside of Frist on Wednesday were surprised when one student began setting up his table just under the North arches, arranging a display of rolled up paper pyramid-style. He began chucking the paper at bystanders, yelling, “Free toilet paper! You look like you want some free toilet paper!” And, off to the side, “Sir, madam, may I interest you in some toilet paper?”

When asked about his behavior, Chou explained, “The university is giving out free toilet paper! It’s double ply, just the way we want it!”

When pressed for more details, Chou glanced side to side, and muttered, “I can’t say that much. The people making me do this, well … let’s just say it starts with a ‘T’ and ends in an ‘-errace.’”

The perpetrator remained on scene for 30 minutes.

Experts believe the bizarre event was one of a series of pranks associated with eating club initiations; rumors abound of other students distributing Spanx and cigarettes throughout the week. Keep your eyes peeled for additional offerings happening today!

The piece de resistance? "Hey! Is that Daily Pr - ... could it be?!"

The pièce de résistance? "Hey! Is that Daily Pr - ... could it be?!"

From http://www.flickr.com/photos/hawken/247806194/

From http://www.flickr.com/photos/hawken

Remember when American universities started hurting from the recession? At Harvard, students were forced to go without hot breakfasts. Soup kitchens sprang up to help students through the whole thing (we heard).

When they learned of the travesty that had befallen Harvard, Princeton’s very own Tiger Magazine set out to remedy the situation by bringing hot oatmeal to the huddled crimson masses.

“Our humanitarian action was motivated by our deep-seated empathy for Harvard students,” head writer Jim Valcourt ‘12 told us in an email. “After all, they go to Harvard. Sure, our schools are rivals, but that’s no excuse for standing by idly while your fellow man is deprived of morning sustenance. Someone had to act.”

The mission’s mastermind Stephen Stolzenberg ‘13 carried out the Ivy League Marshall Plan with Valcourt, Myra Gupta ‘12, Rodrigo Menezes ‘13, Brian Edwards ‘11 and Steven Liss ‘10.

Ed Kelley ‘13 captured and edited their efforts and posted the video yesterday on Tiger Magazine’s website:

Of course, the attempt to nourish Harvard students’ stomachs and souls devolved into a heated rivalrous confrontation … or at least a couple of email exchanges between Harvard students attempting to plan such a confrontation.

Read our favorite emails after the jump.

Continue reading…

Spotted in a PHI 202 moral philosophy lecture on Hobbes and game theory, two minutes ago:

A young man with a jock-like appearance, wearing a heavy green backpack, stands up and runs down the aisle of McCosh 10, shredding his notes in the air above his head as he shrieks:

“It’s all lies! It’s all lies! It’s all lies!”