from thecenter.fsu.edu

Congratulations, freshmen and sophomores! Did you wander into Frist today hoping for your paycheck, only to find a thick envelope stuffed with fancy embossed paper telling you that your stellar grades “may have earned you a nomination for membership in The National Society of Collegiate Scholars?”

Yeah, you and a few hundred other people.

For $75, you can join the Princeton chapter! And, you know, put that on your resume? I guess? You’ll also get a “personalized diploma” (Is there any other kind?) from the society. Which is, cool? …Yeah, it better be MADE OF GOLD.

If you’re going to fork over the money, here’s the only reason you have: discounts!

Among the fancy sheets of paper you might have thrown into your recycling bin is a listing of a few “Scholar Exclusive Discounts.”

• 25 percent off textbooks from Pearson Textbooks. OK, that’s pretty sweet. I mean, if you don’t already get your books from Amazon, for half the price.
• 5 percent off at Barnes & Noble (with a super double-discount of 10 percent that you can get three times throughout the year!) Or you could, you know, become a B&N member and get 10 percent off…all the time. (And 40 percent off bestsellers! No, seriously! Get in on that!)
• 10 percent off participating Motel 6 establishments in the U.S. I don’t really have anything to add to that one.