This week Jane – as in Randall ’12, as in SchwartzDY ain’t the only insta-celebs in town right now – dodged the bullet in more ways than one.
A lot of reality television skeptics dismiss the genre as an exercise in tawdry public humiliation. Normally I counter such assertions with a disquisition on how reality shows routinely reach heights only the best scripted fare can equal (the phrase “subverts traditional narrative structures” gets a thorough workout). But in the case of America’s Next Top Model makeover episodes, tawdry public humiliation is exactly what’s up. And boy, is it glorious.
Bleached eyebrows. White-girl weaves. Peed-on-snow dye jobs. Sometimes all at once (see Rae, Cycle 13). Everything’s on the table once Tyra decides to “edge a girl out,” and this Cycle was no exception. But while one girl got saddled with a fire-engine-red mullet, Jane made off relatively well, receiving only a gentle hair lightening and some tasteful extensions.
New ‘do in place, Jane then managed to survive both of the episode’s eliminations. This was despite committing a cardinal sin of modeling when she posed with her head closer to the camera than her body. As any regular Top Model watcher can tell you, such ill-advised leaning can lead to an unsightly bobblehead effect: