Now I know what you’re thinking: “But Eric, almost all the dining halls on campus have been remodeled, renovated, or created in the last four years.” True. Doesn’t mean they’ve been improved.

I may not eat in the dining halls as much as I once did, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t noticed some of the big changes that have taken place since I was a freshman.

Here are a few “improvements” that have taken place in the last few years…

1. Healthier Food (Biggest Offender: Whitman)
Maybe I’m way off base here, but I thought the point of being in college was being able to clog my arteries for four years without any repercussions. Back in the day, I could have sworn that there were at least two fried options every night, in every dining hall. Delicious. I could have fried chicken, with a side of French Fries, and a fat-full bowl of ice cream. I wouldn’t need to eat again for at least another hour or two.

These days, though, fried food is frowned up. Apparently it’s “bad for you,” or some such nonsense. If it were so bad for me, then why does it taste so incredible? You really just can’t get the same sort of satisfaction out of a tofu steak or a wheatgrass burger. Don’t even get me started on the salad bar.