The last hour of Dean’s Date celebrations, in less than 1/30th the time!
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“Dean's Date”
5:12 PM – PDDL (Post-Dean’s Date Life)
Click here for the timelapse video of the Dean’s Date festivities!
In the meantime, congratulations all for another Dean’s Date survived. While I didn’t manage to get any work done for finals these past 24 hours, I salute those who did.
Oh, and STEM folks/test-takers who have been watching the HUM/paper-writers struggle to meet their deadline? It’s now your turn.
-VC
4:14 PM – McCosh Courtyard
Posting through a sketchy WordPress app to bring you a quick look at how a line develops
-JW
4:02 PM – Last Stretch
Back at home my French mom always had us sing “La Marseillaise” on the way to school for encouragement the mornings we had big exams. I may or may not still hum the tune to myself as I walk to my finals-believe me, it works!-but I figured this could be the perfect pick-me-up in the final hour of this jour de gloire:
Aux Armes !
-LBMC
3:08 PM – PTL chillin’
Shout out to all seniors who defended their theses today! Sorry we’re not sorry Dean’s Date means nothing to us. Ahhh but we do remember those days of pain. PSA for those in need of caffeine for the final 2-hour stretch:
Infini-T, I will love you forever.
- AYS
2:50PM – Spelman
Nice of you to join us, GN. Funny you should mention affiliation gear…
It took me three years to get this sweater.
-VC
2:11 PM – My carrel, which will not exist next year
My friend BJ ’14 pointed out the unusual proliferation of eating club/Greek/Daily Princetonian/other affiliation sweatshirts over the last 24 hours, and when I looked around, he was right: Firestone was overgrown with Ivy. Last night I walked into the a room on B-floor and felt like I had stumbled into a misplaced and mistimed pickups pregame. I counted 4 on the bag-check line alone. Our current theory is this: on this very inauspicious day, when people are maxing out in all the “unwashed” and “strung-out” and “dry-skinned” and “bleary-eyed” categories, they need to retain some visible signifier that they’re desirable. No shame in that. These are trying times. But do realize we all look like poo anyway. Now throw on that mocha-stained TI pinny and pump out those last five-to-ten pages.
-GN
1:33PM – West Egg
For those who endured Baz Luhrmann’s long-awaited Great Gatsby film adaptation this past weekend, you might have felt the soundtrack was the only thing that kept you from strangling Tobey Maguire and his incessant hit-you-over-the-head-twice narration (and the flying text). So enjoy the FULL SOUNDTRACK HERE:
Featuring: Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Andre 3000, Lana Del Rey, Florence + The Machine, The xx, Gotye, Jack White, Sia, and (god forbid) Fergie.
-VC
12:42PM - EAS library, passive aggressively glaring at the whisper-talkers
When did Halls become so peppy? I think the Wa should do this with their hoagie wrappers, too. I swear, those hoagies speak to me: “Yes, honey, you can eat your stress away.”
Fire up those engines… and don’t try to cough up a lung. Photocred Zhan Okuda-Lim ’15.
-EL
12:00PM – Spelman
Noontime! Check out the Princeton Highsteppers killing it on the Today Show! And on DEAN’S DATE, what??
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
-VC
11:31 AM – reddit (no good can come of this)
Filed under “I couldn’t ask for a better end to my 10 year (off & on) relationship with college.”
For those who can’t read ProfessorScript: “I’ve been doing this now for over 15 years. This is the most interesting and well-written paper I’ve had yet. Very nice.”
Don’t you want your prof to scrawl these lovely words on your paper? THIS COULD BE YOU! Let’s GO!
-VC
10:14 AM – Firestone Library, Reading Room
Turn your Dean’s Date swag on right about now.
If music is the only thing that can get you through those final 6 pages of your Art History essay, here are two strong mixes to do the trick.
Le Matos – LE VENERDÌ MIXTAPE VOL. 75, THE MIXTAPE SIDE A, LA MIXTAPE DI ROSSO CORSA
KILL THEM WITH COLOUR – RHAPSODIC VOL. 4
-NDS
9:49 AM – EAS library
Hang in there guys! You can almost taste the summer. After you spend 12 hour working on your paper, you can spend 12 hours a day staring at excel sheets for J.P. Morgan. WOOHOO.
The Forbes Board asks: “What are you doing this summer?” #toolsftw
-EL
8:13 AM – Back from the dead
Time for me to deliver:
The Anonymous Dean’s Date Poster Maker(s) Strikes Again!
Striking more anger and anxiety in student’s hearts than the ghost of grade deflation, we sat down with a representative of the postermaker(s) (it is unclear if there is more than just one, or whether said rep. just enjoys referring to hirself in 1st plural) to learn more.
Ink: Is this some guerilla campaign of the Writing Center?
Anon: Check the Writing Center website––it’s fully booked during Reading Period. Why should they get people riled up about writing if their appointments are already maxed out? Nay, we have different allegiances. We are Legion (as in that widely-panned movie with Dennis Quaid), and there are many of us. We hide in shadows and fear the light and carry two pieces of fruit out of Wu because no mortal laws can hold us.
Ink: You mentioned in your previous interview that you are campaigning against glorified procrastination. Do you think Princeton students are any better/worse at this than other college students?
Anon: We can’t say, having never been students at other schools. We do think we all carry some sense of academic martyrdom for having come here over anywhere we could have gone. Subconsciously believing we would be hot stuff at a less-elite school while doing less work and having more sex might make us more resentful that we’re here grinding out papers and giving/receiving half-hearted OTPHJs.
Ink: Isn’t having all papers due on one day just a bad idea in terms of workload pacing?
Anon: Absolutely. But have you ever tried getting something changed at the highest levels of University bureaucracy? Dean of the College Valerie Smith would listen to you politely and then burst into laughter once you left her office, pausing between her great guffaws to guzzle champagne diluted with students’ tears. It’s easier to encourage healthier responses to shitty policies.
Ink: Do you think you’ve changed your message/tone since the last postering campaign?
Anon: We were a little more provocative last time because we wanted to get people thinking about their attitudes toward Dean’s Date work. This time we tempered that with some heartfelt support. There’s too much self-loathing going on already; we don’t want other-loathing as well.
Ink: When was the last time you stayed up all night?
Anon: We don’t sleep. Too many posters to staple.
Ink: Why anonymity?
Anon: We’re not the heroes Princeton deserves; we’re the ones that it didn’t ask for and vaguely despises.
-VC
5:24 AM – Surrealist hell hole
With no power outlets in any reasonable place, young Sondern takes what he’s given
-JR
4:45 AM – A state of caffeinated delirium
Still in Campus Club, a brave soul toils onward. There are only a few more hours until daybreak. Make them count.
Also, this: http://ohcrapitsdeansdate.ytmnd.com/
- AJS & JR
2:45 AM – Campus Club
Jeremy Cohen ’16 created a web application that simulates ‘Prince’ comments called PrinceBot. I honestly can’t tell if some of these are real or not. Here’s one of my favorites:
- AJS
2:29 – Frist
Kim Jong Will greets his subjects at Frist (apologies for the poor camera-handling)
-JR
2:10 – Lockhart
OK you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. We’ve all been there, bro. But actually. All of us. This is part of the Princeton tradition.
Laser like you.
PTFO
Lol like Coca-Cola is keeping anyone awake right now.
Do it for tradition.
-NDS
1:35 – Holder
First of all, I’m super glad that I only just learned from that post below (thanks Dana!) about this whole being able to see online what washing machines and dryers are available. I guess I was a little bit late on the uptake on that one.
Second of all, Food for thought: Is Princeton’s Dean More Sadistic Than Other Deans?
Most other schools have what’s called Dean’s List, a nice list that you get put on if you do well each semester that generally comes along with congratulations and a slap on the back if you have nice parents. On the other hand, at Princeton we don’t have Dean’s List. Instead we get evil Dean’s Date, a campus-wide day of suffering. Unfortunately, with this comparison, Princeton loses.
- ONF
1:28 AM – Forbes
Apparently, Dean’s Date Eve (or is it technically Dean’s Date now because it’s after midnight? #itsallablur) is the ideal time to do laundry, as ALL of the machines and dryers in the Forbes Annex laundry room are currently available. This never happens. So you’ll plan next year’s Dean’s Date accordingly? Yeah, me neither.
-DB
1:11 AM – Late night fringe
Now that it’s sufficiently late enough in our programming and our younger viewers are no longer with us, it’s time to rehash a classic DCW ’11 Dean’s Date game:
Which ‘Dean’ Would You Date?
Taking the top three “dean” searches on google (which may surprise you), contestants are:
1) Dean Martin
Best known for: The Dean Martin Show, Rat Pack, crooning voice
Date-ability: His soothing voice might calm your nerves tonight as you write.
2) Dean McDermott
Best known for: Being married to Tori Spelling,
Date-ability: Not unless you want to be on his family reality show: Tori & Dean: Inn Love.
3) Dean Cain
Best known for: Being Superman in the 90s American tv series.
Date-ability: Ladies– he’s a Princeton man! A member of Cap & Gown eating club, History major, Class of ’88– he’s everything Susan Patton would have you want! And he’s SUPERMAN. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!
Winner: Dean Cain.
But we didn’t even try the google image search results for “Dean”:
Dean Winchester from Supernatural vs. Dean Baker (the economist) vs. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, aka poor woman’s Robert Downey Jr.
-VC
12:52 AM – Mini Firestone (aka my room)
I have accumulated so many books from the library in my room as a result of papers that I have decided to turn my quad into a mini Firestone. Anyone wishing to borrow books is welcome to stop by beginning at 10 AM tomorrow. I’ll be installing a prox swiper and hiring a book bag-checking security guard sometime this week. If you’re interested, be sure to submit an application.
To put the stack in context, that monitor in the background is 23 inches. And I actually plan on returning these books, unlike the 4 ninth grade history textbooks still sitting in my room (sorry Dr. Frank!).
- ONF
12:30AM – Isitdeansdate.com
Is it Dean’s Date Yet has finally changed to reflect the truth.
11:47 PM – Whitman “Library”
Shout out to this kid for doin’ what he wants. #DGAF
-JR
11:30PM – From the #DeansDate Twitterverse
I actually just imagined throwing my laptop out the window. Then taking a nice leap myself #deansdate #imcracking #sendhelp
— Gechi Flocka Flame (@OgechiKatrina) May 14, 2013
block quotes are the best thing ever invented #DeansDate #struggs #almostthere — Grace Singleton (@gracelton) May 14, 2013
Another successful writing endeavor in the books — extension of extension granted. #gradschool #deansdate #notafailure — Laura Singer (@laurafish1) May 13, 2013
Alright 24 hours. The final gauntlet of the year. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO FIGHT #DeansDate
— pulkpulldoors(@pulkpulldoors) May 13, 2013
-VC
10:30 PM – Firestone Library
The notorious Princeton University Band just arrived in the atrium of Firestone Library to play a few tunes. We captured some video, brimming with aggression and angry stares. Check it out here:
- AJS
10:15 PM – Outside the Art Museum
And so goes the Band, disturbing all of those pissed off students in Marquand…
- ONF
10:01 PM – U-Store
It’s expected that Dean’s Date Eve proves particularly profitable for the U-Store. From chicken sandwiches to Reese’s Bars to that detergent that you suddenly realized you needed at the exact wrong time, the U-Store has got it all. Surprisingly, the U-Store doesn’t seem to prepare all too well for this evening of paper-induced food-stuffing.
As you can see from the pictures below, the U-Store has been hit pretty heavily by over-worked students. Particular favorites are 5-hour energies, chobani yogurts, water, and those over-priced colored liquids that I’m too scared to ever actually drink (I think some people call them “healthy water”).
- The Chobani yogurts are all gone!
- ONF
9:55PM – Mah bed
If you’re cunt-punting (apologies, readers, I should have opted for the more culturally sensitive term, “bush-whacking”) yourself because you missed the Wafel & Dinges truck (like me), hopefully the midnight breakfasts at either Whitman or Rocky will sate you (10:30PM). In the meantime, I’m just gonna cry and look at all the waffles I can’t have.
-VC
9:38 PM – Stokes Library
Damn, that paper is looking fine tonight… said no one ever.
Here’s some better eye-candy for motivation.
-EL
9:32 PM – Frist
Seems legit…
-JR
8:58 PM – Butler College
For those of you who respond better to the ‘stick’ than to the ‘carrot’ motivational tactic, sophomore Liz Lian has taken the liberty of parodying the internet-famous Delta Gamma sorority president’s #insaneletter to whip us back into shape just in time.
She presents:
WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR – DEAN’S DATE EDITION
“…I do not give a flying fuck, and your professors do not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking go to the library. You had one and a half weeks to fuck around, and today is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. These remaining days are about pulling your papers out of your ass, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to stand around and go to Starbucks and not write. Newsflash you stupid cocks: PAPERS DON’T WRITE THEMSELVES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: WE’RE NOT GOING TO GET OUR PAPERS DONE IF WE FUCKING PROCRASTINATE, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING PROCRASTINATE A LOT SO FAR…”
Gogogo!
-LBMC
8:39 PM – Wafels and Dinges Truck at Campus Club
The line for the Wafels and Dinges food truck at Campus Club was maybe longer than that paper you have yet to finish writing (see below). The Students Event Committee hired the truck for an after-dinner pick-me-up. Or maybe “lay–me-down” is more appropriate…
One student: Mmmm. This. Is. So. Good. OMIGOD. SO GOOD. I think I may collapse. Is death by Wafel and Dinges a legitimate excuse for not finishing my Dean’s Date papers?
Unfortunately, I don’t think so.
-DB
8:25 PM – Campus Club
Study break? I guess I wasn’t the only one…
- JW
8:17 PM – Spelman
For those writing philosophy papers, a classic Monty Python sketch:
Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a prioriadjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant, via the categorical imperative, is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside.
-VC
8:04PM – Stokes Library
RA ’13 and CJ ’15 show you how real pros do Dean’s Date. UPC approves of the “2 hugs per hour rule.”
(As for my Dean’s Date headquarters, it’s a dark carrel deep, deep within Stokes, where only the bleary-eyed grad students wander and the only rule is, “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”)
-EL
7:46PM – Rocky-Mathey Library (blogging from afar)
There’s a bizarre-but-awesome pillow fortress set up in the Architecture building. Absolutely no idea why it exists, but I’m hoping to sleep in it one of these nights. Some pictures below courtesy of Michael Jiang ’13.
-CRM
6:24PM – sooo hungry
For some real(er) Dean’s Date writing tips, check out this email I got from my JP advisor on “Every Worst Expository Student Essay Ever.” Things to avoid include:
The Land Before Time Introduction:
Ever since dinosaurs roamed the earth, college students have started essays by crafting vague, generalizing first sentences that suggest, though not in a pushy or assertive way but, rather, vaguely, that the beginning of every argument, not to mention every attempt at scholarly narrative, should coincide with the beginning of time.
The Second Intro (guilty):
Now that this essay has offered an introduction, it’s time to offer another introduction. The first one didn’t accomplish what it meant to accomplish because it turns out that moving from dinosaurs to Virginia Woolf’s novel To the Lighthouse is too gargantuan and difficult a task to accomplish quickly.
The Claim:
In fact, in the largest possible sense, whatever this expository essay claims to be about—and it may not claim to be about anything, or it may, or it may do some unpredictable combination of claiming and not claiming—this essay is actually a performance of everything in the world it is possible to do with language, sentences, and paragraphs in a state of complete dissociation shaped only by a hyper-awareness of time (it is due in one hour) and of space (it must be approximately 1250 words long). In other words, this essay suggests, and indeed shows, in ways of which it is itself not conscious, that the scene of the production of its own writing is nothing more nor less than a volatile pressure cooker of radical detachment on a schedule.
#DeansDate #TooReal
-VC
6:02 PM – Marquand Library
Are you seeing the Spring green from your sunlit library window, staring catatonically at your essay prompt, and starting to feel like you’re alone? Well, you’re not. You’re not alone. And you ought to know that. In fact, you are one of many Princeton alumni, both young and old, to have given that catatonic stare to that untouched essay prompt and conquered it, and in 24 hours of time no less. We here at UPC dug up a few vintage photos of Finals period / Dean’s Date from Mudd Library to show you just how not alone you really are.
Here are three to whet your appetite.
Original description: “Dormitory living means taking time to make a point.” Two students studying together in an unidentified dormitory room (1970).
If he did it on a typewriter you can do it on your laptop (Fall 1971).
Graduate student preceptors having a laugh during exam period (1974). This one is not too motivational; more meant to show you that graduate students didn’t have hearts back then either.
Stay tuned for more as the night goes on.
-NDS
5:38PM – Forbes
Stuck on your paper? Skip the Writing Center and consult the Princeton Betch’s list of “25 things that will make your Dean’s Date essay a real winner”:
- Staple a photo of Firestone to your paper and write “Bibliography” on it.
- If assigned a 3,000-word essay, take 3 relevant pictures and print them out. A picture’s worth a thousand words, right?
- Print your essay on materials relevant to your topic. For example, if you’re writing about Moby Dick, print your essay on a whale.
-EL
5:00PM – Frist 247
For the all-nighter is dark and full of terrors.
But never fear, because like some sexy red priestess from beyond the Seven Kingdoms, The Ink‘s bi-annual binger on the Date of the Dean will be the light that guides you through to victory– and birthing some essay-length babies in the process.
Join us for another semester of distractions, tips, goings ons, delirium and better encouragement than can be found in loud capitals on a white poster in Impact font.
Yup, they’re back.
By the way, stay tuned later in the day when The Ink will once again interview the elusive Dean’s Date poster-maker! This latest installment of posters seem to throw less shade than last semester’s, but the vitriol they may produce is palpable.
-VC
UPC’S THE INK PRESENTS: THE ORIGINAL DEAN’S DATE LIVEBLOG
Got Dean’s Date sightings? Tips? Late-night snack locations? Drop us a line at pressclb@princeton.edu
5:10 PM – typing, fingers frozen, kettle corn stained.
I believe it was TS Eliot who said, “This is the way [Dean's Date] ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.”
Thus, our tired and tireless news group has fizzled and popped. Our only solace at the end of this 24-stint is, well, this guy:
Standing in line for a Princeton beanie giveaway.
That said, with over 3,400 views (edit: not counting the 2,400 directed from our homepage* correction for LZ and the Twitterverse), we at The Ink are proud to say that this Dean’s Date has been amazingly fruitful (in the procrastination department).
DEAN’S DATE, WE WILL MEET AGAIN.
-VC
2:24 PM – Bloomberg Study Lounge
No time for citations? Some pro-tips from the pros (i.e. not me):
1) Type in the name of your article/book to Google Scholar, click the cite button, and voila! Good for MLA, Chicago, APA, etc. Also imports to other citations managers.
2) easybib.com
-JW
1:05 PM – Reddit
“Selling books back like a true college student”:
File this under Post-Dean’s Date/Finals tips for buyback shipping.
-VC
12:36 PM – McGraw, delirious
If only my Dean’s Date essay was half as good as this…
-NDS
11:39 AM – printing stalled
Yes, EL, still not enough baby things.
“The moment our 5-month-old suddenly realized we had a puppy.”
-VC
11:27 AM – printing cluster
VC has pointed out there are not enough babies (human or otherwise) on this blog. Too much Rick Ross and G-Unit and not enough cuteness.
Me as I’m re-reading my draft:
Me trying to climb out of Dean’s Date despair:
Me and copies of my draft in 6 (!!!) hours:
-EL
11:20 AM – bed, no shame
THROWBACK UPDATE: Earlier we posted a 2006 video of a group of Princeton students who made the “P-Unit” Generic Rap Song that, with 130,000 Youtube views, seems to have done pretty well for itself. Where are they now?
Turns out, one is running a web metrics firm in Philly. The other is an aerospace engineer. (So yes, they’ve done well for themselves too.)
See? Stuff like this doesn’t have to come back to haunt you.
from PAW, RM’06 and ND’06
h/t Brett Tomlinson, who interviewed Rob Moore and Nate Domingue for the PAW about this song way back when John Kerry was still a thing.
-VC
11:02 AM – 4th Floor Lauritzen
Just in case you need some extra motivation to get you through the day, check out this (admittedly low-quality) clip of Princeton’s Dylan Ward of the Men’s Squash Team clinching yesterday’s 5-4 win over Harvard. The Women’s Team similarly won 5-4. To quote Steve Harrington, of the Princeton Men’s Team: “It was one of the best moments of my sports career. I played some of the best squash of my whole life.” Carry this energy with you through to your assignments.
-CRM
10:37 AM – Witherspoon’s
6.5 hours to go, everyone. Which makes it probably too late for this public service announcement from a friendly politics major getting a caffeine refill, but just in case:
“The deans are actually pretty lenient about giving extensions when you have multiple papers due the same day. I mean, it’s not like they want you taking five exams in a single day, right? The one at my residential college said they hardly get any requests…I wish I’d known that as a freshman.”
ME TOO. Cue flood of fervent pleas for a few more hours.
-LZ
10:31 AM – Printing Clusters (!)
Because we made it this far with only one baby animal:
-VC
7:55 AM – Wilcox
The dining halls are now open for breakfast. Wilcox, in particular, has a wide selection of bagels.
– AJS
6:50 AM – Butler
Starbucks is open! The sun might be up soon! Life begins anew! It’s a brand new day! Here’s a timeline of what’s hip and happening this morning.
- 7:00 AM – Frist Food Gallery opens
- 7:00 AM – PJ’s Pancake House opens
- 7:30 AM – Dining halls open.
- 7:45 AM – Chancellor Green Café opens.
- 8:00 AM – U-Store opens
- 8:00 AM – Witherspoon’s (in Frist) opens
- 9:00 AM – C-Store opens
– AJS
6:20 AM – Somewhere South of Sanity
DON’T FALL ASLEEP YET!
- AJS
3:45 AM – Wilson
As we get into the wee hours of the night, my mind starts doing random things. Like making Dean’s Date parodies of Portal (nerd-alert) songs.
Namely the last verse/refrain(s):
Look at us liveblogging
when there’s papers to do
When we look around, it makes us glad we’re with you
I’m gonna need a Wa run
There is Dean’s Date to be doneFor the people who are still awake.
And believe us we are still awake.
It’s 4am and we’re still awake.
Hey Prox, you see us and we’re still awake.
Our brains are crying, but we’re still awake.
And when you’re sleeping we’ll be still awake.STILL AWAKE.
STILL AWAKE. (also, craving some cake.)
-VC
3:30 AM – Patton
Public Service Announcement – 10 hours to go, so BACK UP YOUR WORK. Dropbox, email papers to yourself, pull out those USB sticks, whatever.
-SG
3:14 AM – Rocky Dining Hall
It’s past 3:00. Your coffee and chocolate aren’t helping anymore. Neither is your 5 hour energy. What to do? Play a game!
We recognize the names to all the well-known buildings on campus: Joline Hall, Forbes College, McCosh Hall. But do we know the man (or woman) behind the name whose building we use daily? Unless you’re a Princeton history freak (and not in the tour guide kind of way. I love the backwards walking — real talent), you probably don’t.
So here’s the game! Match each building or residential college with the picture of its namesake. I’ll bet you can’t do it. Oh yes, you just got dared.
Answers will be hidden under Nixon (You can’t miss him, just look for the nose).
Pictures:
Buildings:
Joline Hall. Named after Adrian Joline ’70, the 1800 kind. A lawyer, railroad executive, and author, he graduated from the University while it was still called the College of New Jersey (just for the record, it didn’t became Princeton until 1896). It was donated by his wife, Mary E. L. Joline, after his death.
Rockefeller College. Named after John D. Rockefeller III ’29. A grandson of the original John (Standard Oil) Rockefeller, he had more money than even an ORFE student thinks he’ll make on Wall Street. He was a large philanthropist and was on the University’s board of directors.
Bloomberg Hall. Named after Emma B. Bloomberg ’01. She’s the daughter of the mayor of New York and graduated with a degree in English and a certificate in Medieval Studies.
Forbes College. Named after Malcolm S. Forbes, Jr. ’70. He is the editor-in-chief of Forbes Magazine and has run for the Republican presidential nomination twice. He prefers to be called “Steve.”
McCosh Hall. Named after James McCosh. He was a philosopher and president of the University from 1868-1888. His friends said that he was all around, a very cool guy.
Mathey College. Named after Dean Mathey ’12. Described Alexander Leitch in A Princeton Companion as “one of the most devoted, energetic, and generous supporters of the University in modern times.” He is the Dean in Dean’s Date. Not really, but that would be funny.
- ONF
2:44 AM – Dod
We did a little more Firestone adventuring before being unceremoniously thrown out for the night. If you go to the third floor and walk all the way to the back, past the African American studies reading room, there’s a narrow staircase leading up into the tower. Go up, past the little-used fourth floor until you can go no higher, and take a closer look at the windowsill. This seems to be Firestone’s designated graffiti zone, and though most of it’s pretty harmless – initials and class years, the symbol for pi, “TOM” inscribed in a winged heart – take a closer look at the lower right corner.
“REDRUM” (h/t EL)
It’s a lonely place this time of night, and come to think of it, a little eerie. Who knows who might be lurking in the labyrinthine stacks, peering between the shelves, lying in wait? Maybe it’s just as well you’ve been sent back home to your cozy dorm study room for the night. Hopefully you managed to snag some of the Frist nachos along the way.
-LZ
1:55 AM – 2006
Serious throwback here from Princeton students circa ’06, parodying a generic rap song (wait, did I just see twerkin’ at 1:51?! Are you telling me twerkin’ wasn’t invented in 2012?!) :
Next task to find out: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
-VC
1:25 AM - Firestone Balcony Redux
Earlier tonight, we posted some famous writers’ sustenance of choice. Here’s what Hunter S. Thompson needed to get ready to write. Hopefully, your night isn’t too “bumpy.”
— AJS
YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THESE AGGRESSIVE, STRESS-INDUCING DEAN’S DATE POSTERS AROUND CAMPUS. THE INK’S INSIDER INFORMATION TEAM HAS CORNERED THE CREATOR(S) OF THIS PROPAGANDA AND ASKED THEM THE REAL HARD-HITTING QUESTIONS.
Name: The Committee to Motivate Students to Do Dean’s Date Work (CMSDDDW)
Hometown: Grover’s Corners
Major: General
Club and Residential College Affiliation: Club Foot
Are you an animal, mineral, or vegetable?
We are argon-based lifeforms, straddling the boundaries between what is alive and what is merely sentient. So kinda like all three.
Who’s your favorite Princetonian, living or dead, real or fictional?
Goku from Dragon Ball Z. He’s a Princeton alum in many Dragon Ball fanfictions, which we hold as canonical.
What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in Princeton?
One of us once distracted Nancy Malkiel and gulped down several spoonfuls of some clam chowder she was eating.
Why are you posting such intensely fonted posters?
It is inexplicably acceptable at Princeton to procrastinate on papers, then wail and moan on Facebook as you pull an all-nighter and produce some half-assed essays on Dean’s Date Eve. We somehow find a perverse sense of camaraderie in this self-destructive tradition, punctuating it with fanfare and pageantry and silent discos. Our posters are meant to encourage skepticism about a culture in which we all act as if we’re all academic martyrs crucified on the amount of work we have to do, when we nailed ourselves there in the first place. We all have work. We all have time to do it right. It’s hard, but complaining makes it worse. It’s a privilege to have the education we do, one that hundreds of thousands of applicants wanted and were denied. Acting as if Princeton is pulling us through school by our hair disrespects that privilege and lowers the quality of the work that we do. If we saw Dean’s Date work and exams as challenges to be met rather than curses to be endured, we would write better papers, score higher on exams, and live happier, less stressful lives. If inculcating that kind of living takes some aggressive words in Impact font, so be it.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?
Acquire currency and the hatred of the entire Princeton student body.
What is your greatest guilty pleasure?
Snarky answers to journalists’ questions.
Who is “sponsoring” your posters?
Microsoft and Mr. Pibb.
What is your relationship like with the font IMPACT?
Monogamous.
What’s hanging above your desk and/or bed?
The last reporter who divulged our identity.
What is your biggest fear?
An unwritten paper. Also, spiders.
What would you do if you were on the Presidential Search Committee?
Install the dictator android ENLIGHTENED DES-BOT and enjoy a thousand years of peace.
The USG Social Committee has announced that the electronic artist Basshunter will perform at Princeton on Dean’s Date (this year, January 15). The format of the show, however, will not fit the conventional “rave” experience, as attendees will wear headphones hooked up with a direct stream of the DJ set. No music will be played aloud, creating what’s referred to as a “Silent Disco” in which onlookers can see a group of ravers dancing… in silence. Apparently, the concept was fashioned at the Glastonbury Festival as a workaround for local noise violations. We’ve also received word that the committee is hoping to hold the event outdoors, but there’s no confirmation available as-of-yet.
You can find out more here–the Social Committee has an entertaining trailer up-and-running on their site. Basshunter is best known for such rave tunes as “Now You’re Gone” and “Dota”. Hopefully, he makes for a pretty good Dean’s Date performer.
5:01PM – The End!
Well done folks! Another Dean’s Date conquered. In the past 24 hours, The Ink has bravely soldiered on with you in solidarity and camaraderie.
We cried over the rainy day forecast. We laughed at baby/animal videos (@LRW- shouldn’t it be lime puppies?). We consumed inordinate amounts of bacon and beef jerky. We translated ancient Latin graffiti on Butler desks. (Final verdict: after much debate spawned over the single phrase–#classicsmajorproblemsmuch– the consensus is that it should read Virum qui Princetonam petat non laudamus, or “We do not praise the man who seeks Princeton.”)
Good work team! Now go forth like an Infinitely Drunk Ron Swanson.
For the musical accompaniment, watch with this:
-VC
4:51 PM- Forbes Sweet Forbes
And just as 5 o’clock draws near, the sun comes out.
THE END IS IN SIGHT!
Writewritewritewritewrite (or if you’re handing your paper in person… runrunrunrunrun!)
-EL
4:14 PM – TwoD kitchen, waiting for the bread to finish baking
Just got this PSA from Mathey’s Dean of Student Life, Matt Frawley. I’m sure the other colleges’ DSLs sent out similar messages, but in case not, here’s your warning about partying too hard tonight:
45 more minutes. Go! Go! Go!
-AK
4:10 PM- 1915 Hall
Lemon babies are the best! Thanks EL! But, have you ever see a lemon … puppy?
Almost there, guys!!
LRW
3:46 PM- Woolworth
Less than 1.5 hours left… and we haven’t had a baby post yet?
-EL
2:45 PM – Inkspace
As the deadline draws nearer, vulgarity ensues.
CHALLENGE: I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY DEAN’S DATE…
(ongoing Facebook chain)
- Sprawled out all over my desk
- Preceded by dread, followed by binge drinking
- They don’t mind if everything I say is BS
- I get to yell really loud at midnight
- The band plays when I’m almost finished
- We spend 36 hours in a library together and then I never think about them again
- Size 12
- I do them with the footnotes
- Always happy to ‘grant me an extension’
- No appendix
- either a C or D
- with enough caffeine to stay awake so I can finish
- bound in leather
- you put her in a box in Corwin Hall after you’re done
- when I’m halfway through, the Committee on Discipline sends me an email telling me to be careful
We like our women like we like our Dean’s Date: Drinking the Ink. (Got more? Put them in the comments!)
-VC
2:00 PM – CalmingManatee.com
With 3 hours left… are you freaking out? Manatees are here to comfort you!
Cheer up! Watch me bonk my nose into glass for you!
-VC
12:56 – Lunchtime = Pump-up Time
A few gems from our friends over at Buzzfeed:
Outasight believes in YOU! Finishing a paper is just as inspirational as tightrope walking and spearfishing and dramatic sports victories. Right? Right.
(Analysis and link here)
Also, just in case, you know, this day is shaping up to be a downer, check out these tips to turn it around.
– ASG
12:38 – Edwards 4ever
It’s an inconvenient time for writer’s block, but I have it. So I consulted one of my favorite rappers, MF DOOM, who prescribes “nature,” “silence,” and “playing with children.”
Now excuse me while I go out in the cold rain to wordlessly interact with some townie skateboarders.
– GN
12:23 PM – The Internet
Thought Lady Gaga was the first to wear an all-meat outfit (2010VMAs)?
Think again (thanks, MTB ’13): 
Oh, and by the way: According to Us Weekly, Lady Gaga brought out a new “meat dress” on Monday in Tokyo–this time it’s vegetarian.
-AK
11:16 AM – The club, full of ballers, and they pockets, full grown.
Dixon Li ’14 and his Dean’s Date paper: “Beyoncé and the Politics of Bling, or B(ling)eing a Woman”, which I swear was an outtake from this HairPin article: Beyoncé Songs Re-Imagined as Undergraduate Theses in Women and Gender Studies.
You can believe everything they say about us humanities kids now.
Favorite words in here include: “objectified,” “sartorial,” and “hustla.”
Now I want some Beyoncé.
-VC
10:30 AM- Under the covers
A way to relax = reading about porn, CM? How bout food porn?
You can devour this Dean’s Date like you can devour grasshopper shaped pancakes! amirite?
LRW
10:16 AM – Roma Library
No better way to relax in the morning than read about porn, am I right guys??? I found this article too interesting not to repost. Mind-boggling. Essential reading. Superlatives.
-CM
10:06 AM – Interwebz
How I feel at the beginning of a paper:
lalalalala I haz such gud arguments
How I feel toward the end of a paper:
GENDER PERFORMATIVITY. PROBLEMATIZE. RADICAL TRANSFEMINIST DISCOURSE.
-VC
9:49 AM-Edwards Basement
Nothing like a nice swig of beer to get you through Dean”s Date. (?)
-AK
9:39 AM – Small World
I don’t think Firestone is ever quite so well-populated at this early (okay, actually not-so-early) hour any of the other 364 days of the year. Small World, on the other hand, is surprisingly empty, at least in terms of the student crowd. Maybe it’s because that one-hour Internet limit is like built-in Self Control. But they have caffeine! And I don’t think you could nod off through the morning rush there if you tried.
-LZ
9:12 AM – Jammin’ to Call Me Maybe in ma room
I was craving some bacon for breakfast.
Not anymore.
-EL
8:57 AM – Frist Computer Cluster
I’ve moved to one of the giant screen cluster computers
Because if I write at a screen of large proportions
Maybe my thoughts will also increase proportionally
In largeness
Greatness
Quickness
Maybe I’ll drum up more courage for this deadline
Meet this blank white space with FURY. VERBOSITY. AND CLARITY OF MIND.
Maybe I’ll be better able to view all these tumblrs in their full glory.
Everyone in Frist is like this at the moment.
Replace “salad” with “my papers.”
An animal within an animal!! WE MUST GO DEEPER.
I am a lonely cheeto.
- AYS
7:40 AM- In bed… at least, I was
Until someone started mowing the lawn outside my window D:
Seriously, it’s Dean’s Date and some of us just got to bed. Have you no mercy?
-EL
7:03 AM – Frist Food Gallery = home
Ask, and you shall receive. Here is my pump up, happy music for the morning. And check out the lyrics – so relevant. Here are some choice snippets:
Keep on moving to the first rays of dawn/keeping it on till the sun moves on/keepin till the night time all along
Reach for the sky/keep your eye on the prize
Time to grow and be a man/want to fly high like Peter Pan/no more never never land
(Here’s what’s really going through my mind now: “Jane Addams and her feminist care ethics showed a development of a new line of philosophical thinking… I want pancakes that popcorn just wasn’t filling…ok anyways…so Jane Addams created this settlement home and included diverse voices…Where is everyone? Are you guys awake? Come on, come on. I need company. Wake up get up go…come onnnn…”)
[But actually. Where are you all? Anyone awake? Bueller? Bueller?]
-SG
5:35 AM – Frist Food Gallery (do you really think I’m going to move now?)
Good moooooooooornin’ Princeton! Rise and shine and go get ‘em!
It’s now also time for a story! Quickly: once during sophomore year, a newly made friend was making small talk.
Her: “So what’s up in your life nowadays? Like, what do you think of all the time?”
Me: “Uh…”
Her: “Here, I’ll make it easier for you. What was the first thing you thought of today when you woke up?”
Me (too fast): “I didn’t.”
Beat.
Me: “…I didn’t wake up. I’ve been up. ALL NIGHT.”
_____
Ah, well. The end is in sight.
-SG
4:13 AM – Frist Food Gallery
Just a couple of announcements, ya’ll. From one hungry person to another: keep an eye out for these important milestones in our lovely morning together.
5:30 AM – Starbucks opens.
5:43 AM - Sun rise.
7:00 AM – Food gallery open.
7:30 AM – Dining halls open.
8:00 AM – U-Store open.
8:00 AM – Witherspoon’s (in Frist) and Studio 34 open.
9:00 AM – C-Store opens.
-SG
3:54 AM – Frist Food Gallery
Cha’yra, you speak the truth. After the frenzied mob of the Frist, 2 am-Nachos variety came and went…well, that was effectively the end of any convenient food source in the Campus Center for the next six hours. Things are getting real…
And here’s where The Wa+ A Good Friend becomes vital to our valiant Dean’s Date efforts. Thanks to my study buddy JB ’13, who decided to get ‘fresh air’ and take the long walk to Wawa. She returns 30 minutes later, with 2 apples, a bag of popcorn, and the best surprise of all:
It reads: “This is your official Dean’s Date Punching Bag (but not too hard). What are you punching?” Perfect. Motivation could not come in a better or zanier form. Here’s a shout out to everyone still up – you can do it!
-SG
3:05 AM – You know it’s way too late when Press Club is posting Dragon Ball Z videos
This is my love note to AYS.
–VC
2:58 AM – Frist, chugging along
Hi! Turn your volume on full blast and press play:
YEAH. WAKE UPPPPPPPP
I’M WIDE AWAKE!!!!!
Haha. Alright, keep writing. You know how we do.
- AYS
2:02 AM- Forbes Study Room
Whew, finished citing a source. That was a lot of hard work… reddit break!
For all of you who are missing PFML as much as I am: http://www.reddit.com/r/princeton/comments/tn5uf/with_princetonfml_down_why_dont_we_create/
For all of you who want to feel guilty about procrastinating on meaningless websites: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tmtd4/what_are_the_most_intellectually_stimulating/
(Wait, you think Reddit is a meaningless website too? SHUN THE NONBELIEVER!)
For all of you who are clueless about your paper but think that Yahoo! Answers is too shady: http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive
-EL
1:53 AM – Having a Fever
And the only prescription is MOAR BABY ANIMALS.
–VC
1:45 AM- Surfing the Web
STORY TIME! The other day, my friend and I went for a run (by run, I really mean walkrun/runwalk, but whatevs) around Princetontown. I don’t really remember how/where/when this happened, but we somehow ended up in front of a house with a little wire fence in the front yard. Enclosed in the fence was a fuzzy white bunny, which was hopping around adorably. We pet the bunny for a while before continuing on our way. Anyways, the purpose of this story is to say that I could definitely use more cuteness in my life right now. In normal circumstances, I would just try to find the bunny house again, but alas Dean’s Date calls. Youtube videos must suffice.
Theme of the hour? ANIMAL FRIENDS!
Awww. Okay, now back to writing…
LRW
1:22 AM – More stressed than hungry, but still excited to see…
Chai and cookies! See you at 9:30.
infini-T, you are my favorite.
Also, in anticipation of tomorrow’s rainy forecast:
After the cookies. I mean, GN said that Dean's Date = dietary freedom..
Of course these updates got me checking all my other favorite Nassau spots’ Facebook pages, and LO AND BEHOLD:
YES.
Princeton (Township), I love you.
- AYS
1:15 AM – Feeling Awkward in the Study Lounge
WARNING! NOT (REALLY) SAFE FOR WORK: I might have just written the most sexually explicit academic essay in Princeton history.
CHALLENGE: Usurp my wordle with your own outrageous paper of the evening.
-VC
1:04 AM-Edwards
In case you have very good self control and are not checking email (although why are you reading this blog…?), the Press Club is passing along Dean Dunne’s friendly reminder about academic integrity and the Honor Code. 
-AK
1:00 AM- Physically = Frist TV Area, Mentally = closer and closer to sleepppp
Like a cold during finals week or a fly in your corned beef sandwich, the Frist piano player always seems to appear whenever you least want him/her to. Fortunately, though, holed-up paper-writing residents of our commonly misspelled campus center won’t have to deal with extra musical (or not) clammer tonight.
Behold!
And a closer look reveals….
“Unfortunately the piano is not working properly. Please refrain from use.”
Whether an intentional trick on the part of a curmudgeon or a serious piano problem (piano disease?), I’ll take it! Praise Zeus!
LRW
12:31 AM- Forbes Study Room
Going on Facebook and seeing posts from non-Princeton friends is starting to become really depressing.
Curse you, Princeton, and your ridiculous schedule for making us have finals while everyone else is already out for the summer!
At least one Rutgers kid is sort of sympathetic toward us? (Thanks best fran.)
-EL
11:30PM – Whitman Breakfast/Dinner/Exclusive Thing
My friend and I just had a brilliant idea.
THE DEAN’S DATE SELF-IMPOSED DEADLINE DONATION CHALLENGE
Inspired by this little alarm clock, the SnūzNLūz, which for every time you hit snooze, donates a certain amount of your own money (from your bank account) to the hated charity of your choice.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/snuznluz.shtml
So you have multiple things due on Dean’s Date, and you need to make some deadlines to get it all done.
RULES:
1) Pick a time in which you MUST finish a certain thing. Say 12am midnight tonight.
2) For every 1 minute you go over your self-imposed deadline, you must donate $.10 to a charity that you hate. So 1 hour (60minutes) is $6.00 to
For example (from ThinkGeek)
Are you a butcher? Donate to PETA!
Are you a land developer? Donate to the Wilderness Society!
Enjoy your freedom? (Blue state version) Donate to the GOP!
Enjoy your freedom? (Red state version) Donate to MoveOn.Org!
Are you a hippie? Donate to the American Coal Foundation!
Are you pro-life? Donate to Planned Parenthood!
Personally? I’m setting myself up to donate to the National Organization of Marriage. Get at me Robbie George.
12:10 AM – Firestone Trustee Reading Room
The caffeine from the 2013 Starbucks Study Break is wearing off…just in time for the Dean’s Date Fairies to deliver a much-needed sugar boost! God bless you, people who feed me.
(Though, to the fairy that pegged me in the right shin with a Milky Way: Imma get you.)
-SG
12:02 AM-Firestone, C-Floor still
All the overhead lights spontaneously turned off thirty seconds ago in the room I’m in. Just in time for the Dean’s Date Fairies to come by!
-AK
11:49 PM – Marquand
Among the many who are not thrilled to be in the library on dean’s date eve are those who are actually there for work work. Here is a small taste of what they have to deal with.
This message contributed (with some frustration, but no hard feelings) by your friendly Marquand desk workers.
-NP
11:30PM – Whitman Breakfast/Dinner/Exclusive Thing
My friend and I just had a brilliant idea.
THE DEAN’S DATE SELF-IMPOSED DEADLINE DONATION CHALLENGE
Inspired by this little alarm clock, the SnūzNLūz, which for every time you hit snooze, donates a certain amount of your own money (from your bank account) to the hated charity of your choice.
So, you have multiple things due on Dean’s Date, and you need to make some deadlines to get it all done.
THE RULES:
1) Pick a time in which you MUST finish a certain thing. Say 12am midnight tonight.
2) For every 1 minute you go over your self-imposed deadline, you must donate $.10 to a charity that you hate. WARNING: This will add up.
For example (from ThinkGeek):
- Are you a butcher? Donate to PETA!
- Are you a land developer? Donate to the Wilderness Society!
- Enjoy your freedom? (Blue state version) Donate to the GOP!
- Enjoy your freedom? (Red state version) Donate to MoveOn.Org!
- Are you a hippie? Donate to the American Coal Foundation!
- Are you pro-life? Donate to Planned Parenthood!
Personally? I’m setting myself up to donate to the National Organization of Marriage. Get at me Robbie George.
-VC
11:15 PM-Firestone, C-Floor
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a Macintosh Classic II. Guess I should come down to the C-Floor more often?
The note on top says: Prof. John V. Fleming/C-II-J/Firestone Library”. Professor Fleming gave the Baccalaureate Address in 2007.
That book next to the Mac is a copy of The Holy Bible. Still not sure what either of those is doing on the C-Floor, but given the label, the computer at least is supposed to be here.
-AK
11:08 PM – Friend Center, because papers are our friends! THEY ARE FRIENDS.
Midnight nears. You’re heading into the thick of the crunch. The heart of the fray. The eye of the storm. It’s early enough that the caffeine from your free Starbucks run hasn’t yet worn off, but late enough that you need to get down to business. Dean’s Date requires strategy. This is no joke. In the pre-12 a.m. phase, while our mental capabilities remain relatively intact, you must seize the moment. Minimize time waste, distraction (apart from this blog, duh), and later distress by maximizing FOCUS. What do you need?
You need staticky color noise.
Comes in shades of white, pink, and brown.
You need fake rain.
This site may be redundant if it's actually raining outside. Is it? I don't know. #librarylife
You need a personalized chorus of nature sounds.
I recommend a mix of Snowstorm, Lemur, and Whip-Poor-Will.
You need Zen. Breathe. Write. Let it flow.
(The time for pump-up playlists comes later, when we’re struggling to stay awake. Submit your music sites in the comments! PLEASE.)
- AYS
10:32 PM – Firestone Trustee Reading Room
Tip: There’s no use in coming to Firestone now. Every seat (and more importantly, every outlet) is occupied by students who look like they’ll fight to the death to stay glued in their spots. In any case, this is what focused and not-on-Facebook looks like….
Scholars in solidarity
…Until the Marching Band storms in. They’re making the rounds across campus in a beloved (?) Dean’s Date tradition.
And here they are at 9:39 at Frist (h/t AK ’14). Note the reactions on a scale of amused to perturbed to downright angry.
One more still, 10:32 at Marquand (h/t EC ’12)
-SG
10:27 PM – Edwards still
My vice.
This year I learned that the pressures of Dean’s Date obliterate any and all religious/dietary convictions. Though I spend most of my life piously eschewing cow meats, all these hours alone in front of a glowing computer screen have left me wanting something to chew on, something small but substantive to stave off the hunger pangs. So I thought: why not an intensely flavorful, low-calorie, heavily processed and dehydrated meatstuff? An impulse purchase of “Spicy Sweet” beef jerky ensued. I gnawed at the meat strips with much guilt and glee this afternoon. Vaguely sensing that this was my gateway drug into red meat proper, but not really too concerned, I later bought and devoured another packet after dinner, this one a subtle variant: “Sweet & Hot.” Only after confessing my sins to UPC alum BKN ’10, who in abject horror, directed me to the nutrition facts, did I realize I had consumed roughly 132% of my daily recommended sodium intake. If nothing else, let this serve as a cautionary tale for all you mindlessly munching your way through Dean’s Date. Now excuse me while I consume several gallons of water.
- GN
10:04 PM – My Inbox
Another taste of what’s to come, thanks to a soon-to-be winged friend:
- LBC
9:54 PM- Forbes
So PrincetonFML has been down for days—what is up with that? Are you dying without your daily dosage of FMLs? I feel your pain. That’s why I went around campus tonight and collected some anonymous FMLs from other students. Nothing like other people’s misery to alleviate your own, amiright?
More stuff due for Dean’s Date than I had for my JP. MLIA.
Got the flu 48 hours before my 25-page research paper is due… Still haven’t started. FML.
I found out that I have no housing for Reunions, and I didn’t get any USG storage. FML.
Two sculpture projects due Thursday. I only have half an ear [sculpted]. FML.
I have 20 pages of terrible essay. FML.
Keep chuggin’ along, Princeton; you can do it!
-DB
9:45 – Dillon Ghost Town
Too swamped to make it to the gym tonight? Don’t worry. Apparently so was everybody else. 
-ECS
9:35 PM – Facebook
A GLORIOUS update to the Princeton “Latin Graffiti” translation mystery from EL’s post earlier:
Reads: Virium qui Princetonam petat non laudamus.
From Chris Cochran ’14, bonafide Classics Major:
It’s either gobbledygook or really really bad Latin. [The previous] translation cannot be correct. Virium is genitive and cannot be the object of laudamus. Qui should be the subject of petat, but has no clear antecedent. Princetonam is a very poorly formed neo-Latin word but is nevertheless accusative and is properly the object not the subject of petat. My best guess would be to say that the author of the graffito confused vis, viris with vir, viri and that it should read “Virorum qui Princetonam petat non laudamus”. That change would give it grammatical meaning. The next question is what “Princetonam” means, since it doesn’t follow any of the standard conventions for neo-Latin word formation. It is clearly feminine (unless the author has been really strange and in inventing a new word has also chosen to make that word one of the few masculine first declension nouns), but could either be a substantive adjective referring to a person, i.e. “female Princetonian”, or it could modify the implied “Universitas”. If the author intended the “Universitas” reading, however, it would make more sense to use “hominum” instead of “virorum” since there would be no reason to stress biological sex, but then the author clearly has forgotten a lot of other subtleties of the Latin language. Therefore, this is my best guess of a translation: “We do not praise him among men who is inclined to seek Princetonian women.“
There you have it folks.
-VC
9:33 PM – Debugging the blog instead of doing my Paper
Never mind the little person behind the curtain.
-VC
9:14 PM – outside of Woolworth
Coming soon to a study space near you:
-ECS
9:05PM – Page 8/10 on my 2/3rd Dean’s Date Paper
UPDATE ON THE BUTLER GRAFFITI IN LATIN. Classics Major claims it reads: “We don’t praise the strength the Princetonian seeks.” Mysterious. Are they referring to the Prince or to the average Princeton student?
-VC on behalf of EL
8:59 PM – Friend Center
For those feeling discouraged about the night ahead, might we suggest a piece of well-timed Princeton sentimentality? UPC generally doesn’t reblog from the Prince, but in the spirit of Dean’s Date solidarity, check out this goodbye column by Camille Framroze ’12. It’s garnered over 200 likes on Facebook already, and inspired an outpouring of Orange and Black love from the depths of our stressed-out undergraduate student body:
Princeton love. The night is young. It’s only 9 pm, and we’re at the #bestdamnplaceofall. Let’s go, y’all, we can do this.
- AYS
8:40 PM-Butler Library
If you’re slaving away in a carrell right now, take comfort in the fact that generations of Princetonians before you may have slaved away in that very carrell. While we may never know their identities, at least in Butler library, we know what they were thinking at the time.
Fuck orgo
Oh, you sad, sad pre-meds.
A pleasant surprise.
Notice how right underneath this single ray of optimism are the words: “SAVE ME!” (“Me first!”)
All that despair 
Another pre-med? Or what I’ll feel like at 5 a.m.
Virium qui Princetonam petat non laudamus
And an appeal to our readers who know Latin: post the translation of this graffiti in the comments! Google Translate isn’t helping.
-EL
8:33 PM- Late Meal
Three minutes after Late Meal opened, and the sushi is already gone.
This happened last semester too, y0u’d think they’d see a pattern and increase their order.
-AK
8:22 PM- Starbucks
Any non-juniors may want to consider an alternate caffeination station, at least until 2013 free coffee hours end at 10pm.
Coffee mayhem. It’s an only slightly more civilized prelude to the 2am feeding frenzy in Frist.
-LZ
8:11 PM- Whitman College
Any non-Whitmanite planning on sneaking into the aforementioned breakfast tonight at 10 better think again. Now, on top of Whitman’s exclusive “college nights,” it looks like they have constructed a special barricade to keep out intruders, just one step short of building a moat.
(but seriously, with evidence of Reunions all around us, it may be so hard to concentrate, but also so motivational. Persevere!)
- LBC
7:32 PM- the dark depths of Patton’s basement
Looking for something cheerful? Truly, nothing beats Princeton’s hour-by-hour weather forecast for the next 21.5 hours. Just a peek:
Nice and cheery, ain’t it? Seriously, y’all, we are literally missing nothing by being trapped indoors until 5pm tomorrow. (Also, extra-credit points if you contribute sunrise pictures to weather.com’s Princeton uploads page at around 5:42am tomorrow). Time to hole up in your room and stock up that mini-fridge! Keep calm and carry on.
~JMB
7:16 PM- Whitman Lounge
DEAR ‘PRINCE‘ : We’d like to claim rights to the illustrious P.G. Sittenfeld (now Cincinnati City Councilman Sittenfeld!), the author of your favorite Dean’s Date poem that you post every year, who sits on our Alumni Board. Press Club lore has it that we made him cry on his Roast.
Dear P.G.: We love you, but you’d think after being subjected to brutal investigative journalism from a bunch of newbie freshman into the depths of your personal life, you’d know better than to run for public office.
Denial! NBD.
-VC
6:14 PM- Outside Wilcox
Are you in desperate need of study space? Is the library too crowded? We’ve got you covered.
(It’s a shame they took the Student Colony down before Dean’s Date.)
-EL
6:07 PM- Firestone, Level 3
Everyone copes with stress differently: Some people pig out, others watch TV, and still others… draw portraits on the walls of Firestone? I’m no artist, but I’d say this kid’s got talent. Hopefully, he can produce as fine a Dean’s Date paper as this drawing…
-DB
5:54 PM – Spelman
Uhhh…
OK Princeton, I get that humor is all about the right timing, but sending this right as we head into Dean’s Date crunch was kind of too ironic for me to handle. We just finished our JPs! And started our 24-hour push! Hope was in sight! I refuse to think about this.
My life is just my papers, coffee, THIS LIVEBLOG, and the next 23 hours. Let’s gooo.
- AYS
5:51 PM – My Inbox
Dear Claire Fowler,
Just had to personally thank you for your email notice about carrels – rather, my “Firestone Library Assigned Space” – earlier this afternoon. Obviously, there’s nothing I’d rather think about on Dean’s Date Eve than applying for the privilege of locking myself in my own personal thesis jail cell in the bowels of Firestone for much of next year.
Cheers,
The Class of 2013
-LZ
5:46 PM – Roma Library
If you survive Dean’s Date, you might get to witness some of the events on this TIMELINE OF THE FAR FUTURE! A few notables:
- 11 million: “The moon Phobos collides with the surface of Mars.”
- 1.3 billion: “Eukaryotic life dies out. Only prokaryotes remain.”
- 1065 years from now: “Assuming that protons do not decay, estimated time for rigid objects like rocks to rearrange their atoms and molecules via quantum tunneling. On his timescale all matter is liquid.”
At least we’ve all got something to look forward to!
-CM
5:30 PM – 1981 Hall, Whitman
Desperately need help writing that paper? LOOK NO FURTHER THAN ESSAYTYPER.COM.
Just put in your general topic (examples: “African American studies”, “economics,” “Freudian psychology”) and START TYPING ANYTHING. Seriously. IT’S MAGICAL.
Actually, it’s just Wikipedia. But I tried it with my gender and sexuality studies paper, and I’m not going to lie, it was sounding pretty good up to a point!
For those with more STEM-based final projects, may I suggest to you HackerTyper.net?
-VC
5:14 PM – Edwards Basement
My reaction to public study space filth used to be absolute disdain, but apparently I’ve since overcome my self-righteousness and general sense of hygiene: somehow I’ve managed to lockdown a cluster computer for the last few days through a strategic mix of water bottles, gum wrappers (no, not the chewed thing itself), books, and my actual physical presence in the chair. The last one proves most effective. And so, with this space securely mine, these papers will end exactly where they began. I’ll be here most of the hours between now and 5 PM,wit a nap-sleep in between and maybe a pitstop at tonight’s Whitman Midnight Breakfast (starts at 10:00 PM — only open to current residents and the Whitman diaspora, suckas).
- GN
5:00 PM – Outside East Pyne
Those clouds, today’s weather, and the cigarettes outside Marquand and the Architecture library are not accidental. We all know what time it is. Break out the sweatpants, run from Whitman Library: Dean’s Date is upon us.
Lucky for you, we here at The Ink have a tradition of recording, in up-to-the-minute fashion, the final twenty-four hours before our dreaded 5 o’clock Tuesday deadline. That’s right, as in semesters past, we’re taking our collective despair to the internet. We’re “liveblogging” Dean’s Date. Never felt more alone? Crazy guy on C-Floor Firestone starting to seem like your only friend? Fear not. We’ll be updating this post with news and happenings from around campus, thoughts and comments on this communal descent into insanity, and a year’s supply of quickmemes, hashtags, and, as always, YouTube clips.
So take a minute from your Dean’s Date ego – we all know someone’s more screwed than us – and realize that you don’t have to suffer alone. Check back with us throughout the night. We have some tricks up our sleeve to get you to that deadline. Carpel tunnel kicking in, coffee like water, C-Store swipes on C-store Swipes: Dean’s Date begins now.
-NDS
9:18 AM – The Aftermath
Like you, we were so caught up in the post-Dean’s Date rush we forgot to actually finish the blog. We sincerely hope you had better things to do last night than ponder our disappearance.
At this point, there’s not much left to say except congrats: you’ve conquered the monster once again. In celebration, a look back, courtesy of some Dean’s Date all-stars last spring.
–LZ
4:00PM- Heading over the McCosh courtyard
Free giveaways (yeah right, I’ve never gotten one). Food. Fun. Jeff Nunokawa. Be there. Ciao.
–VC
3:20 – Classroom in Lewis (yup, snagged it)
In the spirit of the two most motivational things on the planet (cute animals and the promise of sleep, obviously), I bring you a message from Shironeko, the world’s most relaxed cat:
YOU CAN DO IT! And in less than two hours, you too can pass out amongst more alert friends.
– ASG
2:41 PM- The Wa
We Princetonians often have terrible eating habits—no real surprise there. I just chatted with Lominy who worked at The Wa from 1-9:30 p.m. yesterday. Check out what he had to say:
Did you notice Princeton students buying a lot of food last night?
They buy a lot of stuff. They eat a lot, too. With the sandwiches, they put a lot of ingredients on…. They ask for like all kinds of peppers or all kinds of condiments. It makes our job harder because everything just falls apart.
Did you get grossed out?
Yes, yes.
Was this just last night?
No, almost every day.
______
You are what you eat?
–DB
2:37PM-My room
My roommate’s stack of books, piled precariously high on top of our mini-fridge for the past week, has still not fallen.
Titles of note: “Hamas and Suicide Terrorism”
“The New Oxford Annotated Bible”
“Inside Al-Qaida and the Taliban”
“The Historical Figure of Jesus”
“Allah, Liberty, and Love: The Courage to Reconcile Faith and Freedom”
–AK
1:25PM – bed
Baby animals, meet Bent Objects.
Warning: more violence and innuendo than you’d expect from inanimate household products.
–VC
1:06 PM – Somewhere in the depths of Firestone
“Having caffeine in you is like being drunk but also smart. Drunk-smart. You know what I mean? It’s like being drunk off your own intelligence.”
Optimism or insanity?
Speaking of which, it is likely that somewhere in the last 24 hours your computer screens have started to look a little less like that Word doc, and a little more like this.
T minus 4 hours !!
- LBC
12:52 p.m.-Forbes Library
Just woke up from a glorious 2 hour nap after sending in my paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For all of you still typing away, here’s a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood blogger. DON’T DO THIS:
–EL
12:37 pm — Chancellor Green
There’s no shame in procrastination, unless of course your Dean’s Date paper actually is going to save us all from the apocalypse or cure cancer.
But for the rest of you, if judgmental glances from the guy sitting next to you are keeping you from enjoying lemon baby, sleeping kittens & the like, try stealth procrastinating with Vanishd, which lets you browse behind a Word document, PowerPoint, or other innocent cover. Note: try not to laugh out loud at what appears to be a blank Excel spreadsheet, then we’ll just think you’re crazy.
–LZ
12:04 pm — Wallace Library
The key to the last 5 hours of Dean’s Date is tricking yourself into thinking that what you’re doing actually matters. That you’re on a really important mission. A mission far more important than getting a passing grade (or, let’s be real, turning in the paper.)
So go ahead and pretend that your lab report is about the next apocalyptic strain of influenza. Have you just spent the last thirty hours coding? You’re saving the world from Skynet, even if no one knows it yet. If you don’t finish that Gender Studies paper, a sloth somewhere dies. Raise the stakes!
To that end, some epic songs to get you going.
AW
12:00 PM- Still…floor.
I love sloths.
LW
11:50 AM – Whitman Library
At this point, everyone on campus looks like they’re about right here (ripped from a real essay):
While I’m posting, I may as well give the U-Store some love for the delicious iced tea and high-strength cough syrup they sold me last night. A plug for the store that serves all purposes, straight from their post in the aforementioned Prince article’s comments section (i.e. the early action piece). Caption credit goes to Nick Martin: “amidst a sea of diatribes against low admissions rates and reverse racism, the u-store gets in some quality ad time.”
-CRM
11:34AM-My floor
Who needs caffeine when you can have an endless supply of encouraging compliments?
http://www.ilikeyourjacket.com/
fav: They should name an ice cream flavor after you
LW
10:58 AM – My bed…sort of
On the topic of babies (is it bad that lemon baby feels like it just happened?), don’t you wish you could hold up under pressure as well as this one?
– ASG
10:46AM-Edwards
Andrew Bird is the best soundtrack. He’s a sort of funky-indie instrumentalist with some vocals, a little blue-grassy, and most of all, chill
Andrew Bird channel
–AK
10:35 AM – AMAZED AT RUBE GOLDBERG
STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING. Watch this. I kid you not, it’s the best 2 minutes you’ll ever waste:
For anyone trying to read a textbook at breakfast and eat at the same time, this is ABSOLUTELY necessary, unless you need to turn more than one page. (Just get me a hamster, don’t ask questions.)
–VC
10:27 a.m. – OIT
Last night’s slushy downpour seemed a depressingly appropriate soundtrack for our collective mindset. And though the forecast today is still looking pretty bleak (literally, below, and figuratively), all our favorite caffeine refueling stations are open and there are still six and a half hours to hit those page limits. We just might pull this off.
Unless, of course, you’re one of the three people who came into the tech clinic with computers that won’t even turn on.
See? It could be much, much worse.
–LZ
10:18 a.m. – edge of delirium
Good morning! (although I’m guessing it’s not) Oh what a lovely day for… finishing your papers in a dark cave.
-NP
9:53 AM – still stuck between Adrienne Rich and Gayle Rubin
Like the seventh Harry Potter movie, we’ve decided this blog is so massive that it requires a second installment. AND NOW FOR THE THRILLING CONCLUSION.
Is it just me, or is every conversation I have from now until Intersession some version of this?
–VC
7:25AM – my room, in the dark
It has come to my attention that it has been 14 hours and this has not occured.
Wrongs have been rectified. Also, Owls are the new cats of the internet.
–VC
5:57 am — 2D Kitchen
First things first, Justin Bieber is now a brunette, guys.
Also, the sun is coming up at 7:19 am, which is about an hour and 20 minutes away. So those are two things you should be keeping in mind at this hour.
AW
5:36 AM: In room… so… close… to… bed…
It’s the worst of times that brings people together. (Ignore the cheesiness of that line, it’s late… I mean, early?)
The point is, I let a girl at the Writing Center have some of the food my friend had brought down from the Whitman breakfast. In return, she spent nearly an hour reading my essay and helping me restructure it.
So thank you, Sarah Pak ’15! There aren’t enough blue-sprinkled whale cookies to express my gratitude.
Also, she reminded me that there are far more scarier things than 5 p.m… like Mitt the Ripper.
–EL
3:47AM-2D Dining Room
Oh hey. Here’s that online game you didn’t know you wanted to play.
Have fun! I’m glad you finished all your work and have time to play games, and that’s why you’re awake and reading this blog at 4 am.
AW
3:47AM-Edwards, but of course
So the kid across from you has fallen – and not, gracefully, at that. He’s slumped forward on the wooden desk, face planted into keyboard (those facial dents…yikes) and lips squashed so un-becomingly in polar directions. You spot an ever-growing drool pool…
It’s that time now when the ranks start to thin. Weaker souls, perhaps, but you’re not an entirely unsympathetic peer – oh, no, not at all. In fact, you think to yourself that this poor soul could use a little something that would make him more comfortable or at least save a bit of dignity. “How,” you muse, “can I be of service to this young man?”
Enter: The Ostrich Pocket Nap Pillow. Designed in 2011 by the European company Kawamura Ganjavian, this pillow provides a bit of privacy and a whoooole lot of comfort. Sure, it looks silly, but at least the user can hide his face from curious onlookers.
From the website: “OSTRICH offers a micro environment in which to take a warm and comfortable power nap at ease. It is neither a pillow nor a cushion, nor a bed, nor a garment, but a bit of each at the same time. Its soothing cave-like interior shelters and isolates our head and hands (mind, senses and body) for a few minutes, without needing to leave our desk.”
There’s some pretty wacky things out in the market, but this looks pretty tempting at the moment…doesn’t it?
– SG
3:09AM-My Room
Firestone, why did you close at 1:45 when we all thought we had until 2am? Not that it would have made much difference…
Newest preferred method of exercise: Racing, zig-zag style, through the stacks on the third floor of Firestone. Just make sure security doesn’t see you or they’ll stare you down.
– AK
2:39 AM – Still in Edwards basement, keeping warm by the laundry machines…
Oh HEY Triangle Drag Dean’s Date Fairies! Yeah, we saw you making rounds by Wu several hours ago…are you guys still around? Candy, back rubs, hugs, and extra thick socks would be welcome. You know where to find me.
Thanks to Morgan Young ’15 for the video!
– SG
2:30 AM – Little Hall
Dean’s Date’s as good a time as any to fall into a musical fugue state. Last year this time, it was a Clams Casino mixtape, but this time around, I’ve fixated on a single song. “I’m gon [write] homey until my heart stop.” Yes, that old gem has been on repeat for several hours. Although the boundaries of the hours are starting to dissolve — time is taking on a new form, and the more meaningful metric is now the number of iTunes plays (quickly approaching a hundred). Prufrock may have measured his life in coffee spoons; I’ll measure mine in 50 Cent verses.
Let us know about your Dean’s Date tunes. Just in case I decide to change the song.
– GN
2:05 AM – 1915 Dorm Room
If you’re cursing your parents for not teaching you Proust when they had the chance, at least they never force-fed you lemons and posted your (adorbs) squirming face on youtube.
That said, it’s lemon baby time!!!
-LW
2:05 AM – Edwards basement
Public Service Announcement, ya’ll: BACK UP YOUR WORK! Save your papers to your USBs, send your problem sets to your emails. Just do it now okay?
And as a reward, here’s a PSA, Jay-Z style, that should pump up the rest of the night (erm…morning) for you!
-SG
1:18 AM – 2D Dining Room
We were looking for Roger Wang ’11′s inspirational 2011 video of Ladytown, “the Frist classroom/discotheque that worked hard and partied harder,” but it looks like it’s been taken down by Youtube.
So instead, we present to you this somewhat less-inspiring Spongebob Squarepants rendition of Eye of the Tiger. Because it’s about that time of night, and you need to know you can go on.
Go on.
AW
12:25 AM – Cellular device, aka primary channel of social interaction now
But really…it’s 20 minutes past…and the dread/inspiration/motivation is just. not. there. When, folks, when?
-SG
12:15 AM- Forbes library
In case anyone missed this in Yaro’s email, this kid is truly inspirational.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=BdCHgzU9beA#t=24s
–DB
12:09 AM — 2D Dining Room
Overheard at 2D: “Maybe we should go work outside on the porch, so we don’t fall asleep?”
AW
12:03 AM – Lewis Library
It has recently come to my attention that this photo was posted on Facebook with the caption, “Real thugs don’t sleep.”
This is awkward, because this is actually exactly where I am at the moment, and I have personally consumed the contents of two of the Small World coffee cups.
We have turned around and met our paparazzi. I have to say that I’m flattered. This is the first time I have ever been called a thug.
- LBC
11:15PM – Patton Hall Basement
Awash in dreams of a post-Dean’s Date universe with rainbows and kittens and puppy dogs and sunshine? (And maaaaybe a little sleep, after which sentences like that would surely never occur?)
After 5pm tomorrow, I plan to be reincarnated as this British girl, who suffers from a rare, undiagnosed ailment that makes her sleep for weeks at a time. NEW. LIFE. GOAL.
(Props to Ann-Marie Elvin for the link)
-JMB
10:47PM – Firestone Lobby
If you’re holed up outside the library, you missed an excellent, 10+ minute performance by the Princeton University Band. I wish I knew their route so I could tell you where they’re headed next, but I’m sure that the blasting tubas and banging drums will alert you of their presence. In case you have you have your own music turned up so loud that you missed them—but are sad about that—I’ve got a short clip for you here:
Princeton University Band in Firestone on Dean’s Date Eve
And, of course, a picture: 
–AK
10:19 PM – Butler basement
Cramming fifty pages worth of essay into twenty-four hours may sour the Princeton experience a little bit, but let’s not forget how lucky we are to be here. On that note, it’s worth checking out the Prince’s early action article—not for the article itself, but rather for its 160+ comments. Some are thought provoking, some are comical, some are genuinely absurd, but all (okay, most) are entertaining in one way or another.
A short preview:
“I [sic] just sucks that you work so hard compared to other people who play xbox while you study calculus.” –Deferred student
“what did I do wrong? screw this racist university” –Fellow deferred student
“No[, Princeton is not racist]. I have an asian friend here with a 2000.” –Current student
etc.
-CRM
9:45 PM- Patton Hall
Fact: the discovery of FREE PASTRIES AND SMALL WORLD COFFEE (and spiffy free orange and black mugs, though they’re probably out of those by now) at Wu/Wilcox made me dance like this guy. Quite a sight to be seen, let me tell you!
Wu’s open til 11p, so stop by for some quality caffeination…because Dean’s Date Eve is no excuse to stop being a coffee snob, after all!
-JMB
9:38 PM-Firestone
The collected purchases from a late meal/C-store run. Fuel for the night, though I’m sure this supply will run out soon.
If you’re looking to get sushi at late meal, don’t: they were out a while ago
–AK
9:20 p.m. – U-Store
Bottoms up Princeton!
-NP
9:01- Forbes library
Text from a lonely and desperate friend in one of Forbes’ study rooms. She needs to work on her come-hither messages.
I’m so alone…..
But that’s probs a good thing
I keep smelling vinegar…..
Stress heightens your senses?
–DB
8:59 p.m.—Writing Center
At 10, Forbes is going to have its Forbes Freakout. You’ve probably never heard of it. That’s because it’s more exclusive than the Whitman midnight breakfast. We’re going to burn drafts of our Dean’s Date papers on the terrace and then trash the golf course.
Hey Whitman Whales,
--EL
8:26- Wu Dining Hall
While I can't speak for Forbesians, those at Wu tonight have the option of making smart Dean's Date choices.
In order to optimize studying efficiency, this is what your plate should look like at dinner (according to Livestrong.com):
But I'm not going to lie, mine was something more along the lines of this:
We'll have to see what kind of stamina this provides. Though on a night like tonight I think we all are in need of a few lucky charms...
-- LBC
8:08 PM - cyberspace
Facts of procrastination in flowchart form:
Click for larger image.
Other Flowcharts that I find amusing (this is a sick obsession and I need to stop before I lose another hour of my life):
Songs like Hey Jude and Total Eclipse of the Heart in flowchart form.
But my favorite pump up Dean's Date music rendered in flow chart has to be:
why not?
--VC
7:49 PM - Forbes Dining Hall
I know Dean’s Date is making me lose my mind, but was it just me, or did Forbes serve purple potatoes for dinner tonight?
--DB
7:47 PM – Wilcox
Spotted upstairs in Wilcox. The room is, of course, occupied by a few fratters.
-CRM
7:24 PM- Frist Gallery
This just might be a record. Two hours in, and PrincetonFML is down. Guess you're all just going to have to hang out here...
--LZ
7:17 PM- Writing Center, Whitman
12 spots on the Writing Center sign up sheet which went up exactly at 7pm. The crowd waits ready to pounce like the line outside of Best Buy on Black Friday.
Thanks to KD '12 for the pics and tip!
--VC
6:40 PM-Firestone, 3rd Floor
Mass-exodus to dinner. Computers, textbooks and notebooks stay out, laying claim to all available flat surfaces like chairs do in rare parking spots on snowy days.
--AK
5:45 PM- Forbes basement
When you can’t find an empty study room, you make your own. Props to whoever took the initiative to carry the extra desk and chairs from the study room into the Forbes dance studio. Extra points for decorating their space with empty ramen cups, goods from Wawa, and a comfy recliner.
--EL
5:14 PM -- my room (intentionally lowercased like bell hooks. #GSS reference)
Nothing like a little Cyndi Lauper meets Grade Deflation to start your Dean's Date off well.
--VC
5:00 PM -- Ivy Crypt (aptly named, feeling pretty zombielike already)
Another Dean's Date, another of year of broken promises of time management; reading period always feels so long, until it isn't. Now there are exactly 24 hours until the hour of reckoning. As per biannual tradition, The Ink will be up all night, feeding you distracting and nourishing nuggets of reporting and commentary at irregular intervals, all the way to the finish line. Check back often. Check back whenever you feel like your sleepless brain has turned to slurry. Check back whenever your caffeine-induced clarity finally fades away. Check back whenever you feel like you can't write anymore. Check back whenever you feel you could probably write a little more, but would rather hear about how I can't write anymore before going back and writing a little more.
Raw and honest dispatches from a campus collectively descending into delirium. Frontline reporting at its finest -- we've got papers and problem sets too, and we're putting them on the line for your sake. Press Club in the [procrasti]nation's service, and in the service of all [procrasti]nations.
Godspeed.
-- GN
Coming to an eating club near you
Good news for all of you who are 1) somewhat hiphop-inclined, and 2) looking for some hope to keep you afloat in these trying pre-Dean’s Date times. Madlib, one of the finest producers alive, will be performing at Terrace on Tuesday night. A Madlib beat is an odd specimen, radiating the hazy warmth of vinyl, constantly teetering on the verge of a groove before twitching and fracturing and meandering away to explore some other musical thought. He often eschews the typical hook-verse-hook template in favor of weirder, looser song structures, all the while sampling voraciously and multiculturally. Sometimes he raps, too. Maybe we’ll hear some of that at Terrace, but his beats alone will be more than enough to satisfy. Maddeningly prolific, he’s dropped tape after tape of instrumentals (see especially his jazz-inflected stuff), but he might be best known for his collaborations with rappers. Most recently with Freddie Gibbs, most mainstreamly with Mos Def, and probably best of all with MF Doom — their brainchild, Madvillainy, ranks among the top rap records of the last decade, and every time my stomach sinks with the dread of Tuesday 5 PM I just think about prospect of hearing some of those beats live. Hear the flute loop on this song and know that everything will be okay:
Opening acts Shigeto and Dabyre are sure to impress as well. Terrace sets are hard to predict, but I can’t imagine Madlib himself will go on anytime before 12:40 or so. Go listen.
Deadline’s come and gone, and now it’s celebration time. Featuring kettle corn, ice cream, and the PU Band.
Yesterday we introduced you to Ladytown, the Frist classroom/discotheque that worked hard and partied harder.
Today, I present to you a time-lapse video (1 frame captured every 45 seconds) of Ladytown’s midnight-to-morning happenings, courtesy of Roger Wang ’11.
People come, people dance, people go, but through it all, Yellow Hat stays anchored in the foreground, plugging away. What focus! What grit! What determination! Truly an inspiration for us all.
Have any tips for us? Drop us a line at pressclb@princeton.edu
5:00 PM — Everywhere
Brian Wilson, after pitching the winning game of the 2010 World Series, expresses all your emotions perfectly in a single sentence.
Congrats guys, another Dean’s Date managed. Now please, for the sake of your sanity, either go to bed or start having fun.
– WAS
4:47 PM — Underneath the invisibility cloak
Did you see us make it disappear? We thought we’d do Princeton a solid and rid it of one more procrastination tool during the final stretch, so we put the invisibility cloak over the Dean’s Date post. Some may call this a “technical glitch.” Semantics…
If you missed it, keep clicking the refresh button to see if the magic happens again…
– SJP
4:42 PM — McCosh Courtyard
There is currently an insanely long line for these sweatpants stretching from the mouth of the cathedral to (last I checked) to around Murray-Dodge. Good luck if you’re planning on getting a pair. I just did. They are silky smooth.
– WAS
4:34 p.m. – Carl A. Fields Center
Ready, and…SUBMIT!!!
See you all at McCosh in 30!
-SG
4:26 PM — Mile 26
As we head into the final painful stages of sleep deprivation and prolonged mental activity, we can use some tips from others trained to push their bodies to the breaking point—marathon runners. While DCW may insist on a divide between the cool sporty kids and the dorks who wear their allnighter badges like Olympic Gold medals, I maintain that we share some common ground with our athlete friends.
Here’s what Mary Wittenberg, president and chief executive of the New York Road Runners, the group that puts on the ING New York City Marathon, has to say about competitive marathon runners:
“Mental tenacity — and the ability to manage and even thrive on and push through pain — is a key segregator between the mortals and immortals in running,” Ms. Wittenberg said.
You can see it in the saliva-coated faces of the top runners in the New York marathon, Ms. Wittenberg added.
“We have towels at marathon finish to wipe away the spit on the winners’ faces,” she said. “Our creative team sometimes has to airbrush it off race photos that we want to use for ad campaigns.”
If you’re covered in slobber and waiting for your towel at the end of this finish line, you’ve done us proud. Keep kicking.
–SJP
3:19 PM — Cafe Viv
So I was looking for a little inspiration (for this blog post, not for my actual Dean’s Date papers, mind you – I am an upstanding follower of the honor code, and let’s face it, if you’re still looking for inspiration at this point you have no business being on a blog site. Just kidding, we want you here anyway.) A little poking around the dark recesses of the Internet brought out this gem: EssayGenerator.
Type in any phrase, and it gives you a more or less grammatically correct, albeit very short, essay on the subject of your choice. Fun! Let’s see what it has to say about Dean’s Date…
The beginning is shockingly good – as in, start worrying about the artificial intelligence revolution because this thing reads minds.
Some highlights:
“Underestimate dean’s date at your peril.”
“As soon as a child meets dean’s date they are changed.”
“Though I would rather be in bed I will now examine the primary causes of dean’s date.”
Don’t let me get your hopes up, though. It goes downhill pretty fast:
“Let us consider the words of that silver tongued orator, that most brilliant mind Elijah Bootlegger ‘A man must have his cake and eat it in order to justify his actions.’ [2] I argue that his insight into dean’s date provided the inspiration for these great words. To paraphrase, the quote is saying ‘dean’s date wins votes.’ Simple as that.
The question which we must each ask ourselves is, will we allow dean’s date to win our vote?”
It sure doesn’t have my vote…and neither does this essay machine, for that matter.
Two hours – it’s go time.
-LEZ
3:10 PM– Second Floor Frist
As the final hour draws ever closer…
- Still have a bajillion words/pages to write?
- All the nearby print stations are broken?
- Operating on less than .5 hours of sleep?
- Embrace it.
–VC
3:03 pm – Delirium is a funky place
If you’re like me, you’re anal about saving your work. You ‘save as’ your essays multiple times, hoping that the extra copies will ensure that the labor of your love/desperation won’t suddenly get up and disappear.
Sounds good and all, but the problem with this approach is that you get a folder full of papers titled:
‘Yoga in Prisons’
‘Yoga in Prisons, second draft’
‘Yoga in Prisons, updated for reals this time’
‘Deans Date copy’
‘FINAL JRN paper!!!’
‘NO PICK THIS ONE. FINAL FINAL COPY’
‘JRN story HERE LOOK HERE’
Don’t ask me why I don’t use the streamlined system of titling them ‘Draft 1,’ ‘Draft 2,’ and so on. I assume my mind doesn’t think in such ordered terms early Tuesday morning. I like my titles to have Punch. Energy. Pizzazz!
So anyways, here’s what happens. I open ‘FINAL JRN paper!!!’ ready to edit and submit. Shocked to find gaping holes (read: at least 5/18 pages) in essay. Wonder, “OMG, did I fall asleep and not finish the paper like I thought I did? Did I really not finish it? I DELUDED MYSELF into thinking I finished?!?” Panic ensues as I frantically start writing, anything- anything really, to fill up the space.
Twenty minutes later, for some reason, I go through my notes, and revisit my alternate drafts. Realize that ‘FINAL JRN paper!!!’ is not, in fact, the final one. ‘Deans Date copy’ is. Everything is there.
All is well.
-SG
2:33 PM — Firestone Trustee Room
Guys, you’re so close! But, I know the last stretch can be grueling. Are you lacking motivation? Let this guy rev you up.
If HE can do it, YOU CAN TOO.
– WAS
2:30 pm –Back to the hallway with the Turkish Alphabet poster.
So, when professors say that we must include our signature of the Honor code with the electronic copies of our papers, they mean that we can sign in Paint, right?
Right.
Here are some of my greater samples.
–LRW
2:17 PM — The Internet
Like us on Facebook. Don’t pretend like we’re not friends by this point, we’ve been up all night together.
– UPC
1:33 pm — In my room (uh, still…)
The only workouts I ever manage to squeeze in on Dean’s Date are a few chairside jumping jacks to break up the blood clots in my legs.
Thankfully, a tipster sent in this video from the Princeton Crew Team. It’s a first-person view of some strenuous-looking speed gauntlet, and it’s pretty (vicariously) invigorating.
Sayeth our tipster: “You feel like you’re actually getting dizzy with him in the beginning, and if you go to 1:18, the guy FALLS and skins his hands. I feel like I just exercised.
– DCW
1:21 p.m. – The minds of LMNT
It was the A-Teens last night, LMNT today. I fear that I will forever be known as the girl-who’s-obsessed-with-teeny-bopper music, but please, this is as good a day as any for flashbacks to my junior high glory days.
I couldn’t find the official music video, but this is so much better. How old are these kids, anyways?
*TRIVIA: LMNT, pronounced “element,” was chosen as a band name because the musicians liked the symbolic meaning. The four basic substances that make up the universe – earth, wind, fire, and water – are completely different, yet coexist in harmony…wait for it…just like the band members themselves!
Gotta love diversity.
-SG
1:00 PM — Cafe Viv
Time’s getting pretty tight, but can you spare three seconds? You’re here, so I’m guessing yes.
For extra giggles: Open the video in YouTube and keep pressing ’2.’ Repeat ad nauseam.
Try not to fail as hard this Dean’s Date.
– WAS
12:55 — Still in bed, still working, still living, still blogging
According to Brian No ’10, while the liveblog post may have 1,250 views, the homepage here at www.universitypressclub.com has over 2,100.
“So, like, wouldn’t it be accurate to say that something along the lines of half the school has read the liveblog?”
I guess so, Brian.
– AW