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“Class Day”

2013 CLASS DAY SPEAKER, PULITZER PRIZE WINNER, AND NEW YORKER EDITOR DAVID REMNICK ’81 LOVES UMLAUTS, PJ’S WAFFLES, AND THINKS TINA BROWN COULD BEAT ZOMBIE LENIN IN A FIGHT. ALSO A HOMEBOY.

Name:
 David Remnick
Major: Comparative Literature
Hometown: Hillsdale, NJ
Residential college/eating club affiliation: Wilson College

 

For those seniors who may have never heard of you, how would you describe yourself?
As a guy who got a D in Russian at Princeton–and then made his stripes…where else?… in Russia. There’s a lesson in there somewhere.

Who’s your favorite Princetonian, living or dead, real or fictional?
Albert Einstein (he counts, right?) and Robert Cohn, the impotent boxer in “The Sun Also Rises.” And some classmates: Elena Kagan, for sure.

Steve Carell, last year’s Class Day speaker, is a hard act to follow. What’s your game plan?
Hire Steve Carell to write my speech.

What’s your greatest guilty pleasure?
If I counted up the hours lost to watching uniformed people tossing, whacking or carrying various-shaped balls on television, I would probably drink hemlock.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?
Read, edit, cajole, beg, hope. And that’s not even a sentence, strictly speaking.

What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in Princeton?
Waffles at PJ’s. In an altered state.

What are your thoughts on the future of journalism?
That there is one. Because without real journalism– innovative, aggressive, tough-minded, fair journalism– you’ve got North Korea.

What’s your drink?
I am not very particular.

What’s your personal anthem?
The Miles Davis classic: “So What?”

What makes you laugh?
Almost everything.

What makes you cry?
Death and onions.

Who’s your mortal enemy?
Anyone who thrives on cruelty.

Who would win in a fight, former New Yorker editor Tina Brown or a reanimated Vladimir Lenin zombie?
Tina.

What magazine/newspapers do you read besides The New Yorker?
Too many to name, but, for starters, The Times, The Washington Post, Haaretz, Al Jazeera online, some Russian papers, The New York Review of Books, The Atlantic, The New Republic, Rolling Stone, loads of websites…anyway, a cascade of things.

Favorite New Yorker cover of all time?
Damn near anything by the great Saul Steinberg.

Umlauts. How do you feel about them?
I feel goöd about them.

When’s bedtime?
Midnight to five, five-thirty.

Favorite spot on Princeton’s campus?
The basement of East Pyne, where I (tried to) learn Russian and in various other classrooms scattered around the building, where I got to study with Bob Hollander, John McPhee, Sandy Bermann, Bob Fagles, and Suzanne Nash. I’m pretty fond, too, of wherever P. Adams Sitney was showing movies. And since the drinking age then was eighteen, what you know as a place to get coffee was once called “The Pub.” Trust me, “the Pub” was better. Or so I recall.

Favorite class you took at Princeton?
A dead heat: Robert Hollander’s Dante course and John McPhee’s writing seminar.

What grammar mistake do you find most annoying?
Are you sure that question is grammatical?

What makes someone a Princetonian?
God willing, not an obnoxious question like the previous. What it has meant lately is that you had the chance to be there under a truly great university president. Shirley ruled; she rules; and will always rule. She really set an example on every level.

Steve Carell speaks at Class Day 2012 (via nj.com)

Hey Princeton! In the past month, have you: (a) absentmindedly brought your prox with you to the kitchen, (b) asked a friend if a local bar was “on pass,” (c) craved freshly-baked cookies between 10 p.m. – 12:30 a.m., or (d) all of the above? Yeah, we miss the Orange Bubble, too. So for those who are desperate for some mid-summer news, we’ve got you covered. Beginning today, on Monday of every week, we’ll feature a roundup of Princeton-related news from the prior week, which will hopefully help get you through the next few months.

What’s going on this week? First, professor of politics and international affairs and former dean of the Woodrow Wilson School Anne-Marie Slaughter recently wrote an article titled “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” which has been blowing up the interwebs. It has attracted more visitors to The Atlantic’s website in a 24-hour period than any other story the magazine has ever published, according to the New Jersey Herald. The article details Slaughter’s struggles with balancing her high-powered career and motherhood. Writes Slaughter:

“I still strongly believe that women can ‘have it all’ (and that men can too). I believe that we can ‘have it all at the same time.’ But not today, not with the way America’s economy and society are currently structured. My experiences over the past three years have forced me to confront a number of uncomfortable facts that need to be widely acknowledged—and quickly changed.”

In other faculty news, according to The Daily Princetonian, Brown University president Ruth Simmons will join Princeton’s Board of Trustees early next month. Simmons was a professor of Romance languages at Princeton in the 1980s and later served as a vice provost of the University. The Board of Trustees recently approved 26 other faculty appointments.

Members of the economics department have a reason to celebrate – University officials have submitted plans to the Princeton Borough Zoning Board of Adjustment for proposed renovations to 20 Washington Road, which is set to house the Department of Economics (as well as several international offices and the Princeton Institute for International and Regional Studies). As a result, all of Princeton’s economists will be able to gather together in one place (and, you know, figure out how to get us out of this double-dip recession). The building used to be home to the Department of Chemistry. If everything goes as planned, the building will be completed by fall 2016.

On a different note, Hoagie Haven lovers listen up! According to nj.com, a new Subway shop is due to open just two doors down from the beloved haven of hoagies on Nassau Street. The sub vs. hoagie battle is on. Guess that just means you’ll have to eat more hoagies to prevent Subway from beating out the Haven…

If you are on campus currently, you may have the opportunity to see Tina Fey and Paul Rudd (@#*&!). The two will be filming scenes for the movie Admission near campus on July 2 and 3, borough administrator Robert Bruschi said. Speaking of comedians on campus, Steve Carell detailed his Class Day visit, among other things, when he appeared on The Today Show on June 18, which you can check out here.

That’s all for now! Check back next week – and every week this summer – for more dispatches from the Orange Bubble.

Actor and comedian Steve Carell will be the Class Day Speaker for the Class of 2012, according to an e-mail announcement from the 2012 Class Day team, which includes Gabriel Debenedetti ’12, Chris Green ’12, Erin Kiernan ’12, and Lindy Li ’12.

“We are thrilled that Mr. Carell will be joining us as we bring our Princeton journey to a close,” the team said in the e-mail. “National media have crowned him as the funniest man in America — we could not agree more.”

Carell is perhaps best known for his role as the inept office manager Michael Scott on NBC’s The Office, which the actor left last spring. He has also starred in films including The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Date Night, and most recently, Crazy, Stupid Love.

In the recent past, Class Day speakers have not been announced until late spring. In fact, in 2010, Charlie Gibson ’65 joked about his last-minute selection, claiming that celebrities from Lindsay Lohan to Sarah Palin had turned down offers to speak at Princeton.

But this year’s Class Day chairs began to work on bringing Carell to campus over the summer, Debenedetti said. Debenedetti, Green, and Kiernan served as the Class of 2012′s Class Day chairs.

“We’ve been pushing for him for a long time,” he said. “We felt like he was one of the more iconic comedians of our generation, and a lot of people in our class have grown up with his comedy.”

Can’t wait till June 4? Here’s a preview:

The second most important lineup this spring (after Lawnparties!) is finally out. Brooke Shields will be the Class of 2011′s Class Day speaker, as announced today. New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg will speak at Baccalaureate on May 29.

Shields, a member of the Class of 1987, is one of Princeton’s most famous alumni, and is known for her starring roles in movies like “The Blue Lagoon” and “Pretty Baby.” This picture is of Shields at her own graduation, where she was escorted by a bodyguard, and surrounded by classmates wearing buttons that said, “Yes, I went to Princeton. No, I never met her.”

Read more at the Star-Ledger.

Since it’s summer and we know you’re busy at your super-important [insert bank here]/[insert NGO here]/[insert research institution here] internship or backpacking across Europe or voraciously watching back episodes of Gossip Girl, we here at The Ink round up the week’s news so you don’t have to. Today we’ve got some graduations stuff, some art crime stuff, some reality TV show stuff, some fratty stuff, and generally, stuff.

First up this week: Alumni swarmed Princeton this weekend, as you might have guessed, for Reunions. There was debauchery, there was dunko (as per the Wall Street Journal), and good times had by old people. God reportedly attempted to smite the revelers, but only knocked out a few trees. Fun!

A tree near Dillon Gym faced the wrath of nature

A tree near Dillon Gym faced the wrath of nature

Also, graduation happened, which is weird to think because that means a quarter of the student body has moved on into the real world. At Baccalaureate on Sunday, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos ’86 told the Class of 2010 about his grandmother and to be kind.

And then NBC news anchor Charlie Gibson ’65 cracked some jokes, along with Class Day speakers Zach Zimmerman ’10 and Becca Foresman ’10. Reports indicate everybody had a good time. Too bad superstar student body commander-in-chief CDY wasn’t there, because he was racing with Jonathan Schwartz ’10 while filming an episode of the CBS reality show The Amazing Race.

The Class of 2010 marched on anyway, and 1,166 seniors passed through FitzRandolph Gates, with some special guests. U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was given an honorary degree for a bunch of stuff, among them being a trailblazer for women’s rights and being pretty old.

Valedictorian David Karp (who had 29 A’s and A+’s!?) spoke, along with salutatorian Marguerite Colson, who gave her address in Latin to a bunch of people who couldn’t understand her:

Because few students today know Latin, the new graduates follow along using printed copies of the remarks. These include footnotes telling when to applaud (plaudite) and laugh (ridete). Guests and other audience members do not have the annotated copies, a practice dictated by tradition because the salute is directed to the members of the class.

Here’s a slick video Princeton made of the happenings. Money shot’s near the end, with the Class of 2010 on the steps of Blair Arch, doing the creepy Heil singing “Old Nassau.”

We’ll miss you guys!

And then, that huge sucking sound you heard on Wednesday? That was campus being evacuated for the summer. News grinded to a halt, but stuff still happened, apparently:

Continue reading…

“Really? Rainbows shooting out of unicorns? Really? And you have the nerve to blame Dean Malkiel for your grades.” — Shirley Tilghman, president of Princeton University

“MLIG.” — Shirley Tilghman

“I’m not sure how people enjoyed life before Lady Gaga, but I’m glad I don’t have to live in that world anymore.” — Zach Zimmerman ’10, occasional Lady Gaga impersonator

“Le-Coq, Mom.” — Becca Foresman ’10, occasional washing machine impersonator

“For the record, 18 middle-Dod, two years in Campbell, and 6a Patton Tower.” — Charlie Gibson ’65, on not being mentioned in this New York Times article on dorm rooms of famous alumni.