And in the lab of electrical engineering professor Paul Prucnal, it’s becoming a reality. “It’s a way of encoding more information and processing it more quickly,” Prucnal said.

Alex Tait ’12, one of the lab’s summer interns, has contributed a device that acts as the decision-making part of the neuron. It’s called the double ring enhanced asymmetric Mach-Zehnder interferometer. (Thankfully, it makes an easy acronym: They call it the DREAM device.)

But more on that later. Before there was a DREAM, there were meetings — and the occasional free pizza.

Read more at the Princeton Alumni Weekly.

“We are thrilled that Mr. Carell will be joining us as we bring our Princeton journey to a close,” the team said in the e-mail. “National media have crowned him as the funniest man in America — we could not agree more.”

Carell is perhaps best known for his role as the inept office manager Michael Scott on NBC’s The Office, which the actor left last spring. He has also starred in films including The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Date Night, and most recently, Crazy, Stupid Love.

In the recent past, Class Day speakers have not been announced until late spring. In fact, in 2010, Charlie Gibson ‘65 joked about his last-minute selection, claiming that celebrities from Lindsay Lohan to Sarah Palin had turned down offers to speak at Princeton.

But this year’s Class Day chairs began to work on bringing Carell to campus over the summer, Debenedetti said. Debenedetti, Green, and Kiernan served as the Class of 2012’s Class Day chairs.

“We’ve been pushing for him for a long time,” he said. “We felt like he was one of the more iconic comedians of our generation, and a lot of people in our class have grown up with his comedy.”

Can’t wait till June 4? Here’s a preview:

This week, we’re kicking off our annual Candidates Period, a three-month application process to join the club. During Candidates Period, we’ll teach you the basics of writing, reporting, and journalism ethics, and you’ll work one-on-one with our members to develop your writing skills.

To learn more about the Press Club and the Candidates Period, come to one of our three Open Houses in McCosh 64:

Monday, Oct. 3 — 6 pm

Monday, Oct. 3 — 8 pm

Wednesday, Oct. 5 — 8 pm

If you have any questions or are interested in applying for the Press Club but cannot attend an information session, please e-mail us at pressclb@.

Candidates Period is open to freshmen and sophomores. No prior journalism experience is required! We’ll teach you everything you need to know over the course of the Candidates Period.

More information is available here on our website or at our Facebook event.

UPDATE: We’ve added one more info session, on Thursday, 10/6, at 4:30 pm in McCosh 64.

The résumé:

Laundry: Rocky offers basement laundry rooms in Witherspoon, Buyers, Holder and Campbell Halls. Holder Entryway 13, you’re right above the laundry room. If you’re living across the quad, you might find yourself taking a shortcut—and risk exposing yourself to the elements (you know, gently falling leaves)—instead of the long way through the basement. (ETA: No laundry in Campbell! At least not if you’re in Rocky. From Rocky ‘14 in the comments: “Campbell’s split up into two sections: the Rocky side and the Mathey side. The Mathey-Campbell side has access to Joline’s laundry rooms through the basement, but the Rocky-Campbell side isn’t connected through the basement. So, unfortunately, no laundry in Rocky Campbell.”)

Kitchens: You can do your lonely Thanksgiving meal preparation or 2 am ramen eating in the basement kitchens of Witherspoon and Holder. The Holder kitchen area is also home to a TV lounge, and its booth-style dining tables are a popular study area. You’ll often find freshmen and sophomores grimly studying at the Witherspoon dining table, which can make cooking kind of awkward. That said, a list of foods I know for a fact have been cooked in Rocky’s kitchens: A stuffed pumpkin, maple syrup snow candy, seitan, and scones. A little tolerance of gross sinks and stains, and anything is possible.

Computers: Holder’s got a cluster of Macs and PCs hidden among its many study rooms, and a Rocky-Mathey cluster is tucked behind the Rocky-Mathey library, right under the dining hall. For video editors and graphic designers looking for some serious technology, the Rocky Media room is located in Holder Hall, entryway 4B.

What’s in the neighborhood: Embrace the term “up-campus snob.” You’re closer to Nassau Street than just about anyone, which means 1 am Starbucks runs are worth it, even in February.

Bugs and pests: Mice. Bats. Squirrels. OK, look, you’re living in a castle—consider it part of the experience.

Library: Though it’s open 24/7, the Rocky-Mathey Library is best enjoyed at around 5:30 pm, when golden sunlight filters through the windows, and everything feels very old and academic. It’s also best enjoyed without: piles of banana peels on the tables, loud conversations, a Dean’s Date workload.

Noise levels/partying: It depends on the year—and who’s living in the best party rooms—but it’s not hard to avoid the noise given the number of study areas around the college. Places you might find a party: Witherspoon’s legendary turret rooms. Places you might not find a party: Substance-free Buyers (though it’s got some two-story rooms.)

What’s on the floor: Hardwood floors. Obviously.

Other perks: You guys, do you know how hard it is to get tickets to see The Book of Mormon? Really super hard. Lucky you, Rocky College Council is running a trip to see the musical on September 23. Other perks include getting to know (and Facebook friend) college master Jeff Nunokawa and knowing that you at least have a chance at landing one of Spoon’s amazing quads–so you know, they’re the suites that end in -03 or -13. (ETA: Make that -17 for the turret rooms, whose turrets make an excellent place for a breakfast table or one of these).

Bathrooms: Hall bathrooms, including some that are basically just a single bathroom—one shower, one toilet, one sink.

What it’ll look like on move-in day:

Honestly, like this:

But also like your Ivy League dreams came true. Your parents will take a million pictures of you in front of your entryway or in the Holder cloisters, where it’s not uncommon to stumble across a photo shoot on your way to dinner. Other people’s parents might sneak in a few pictures too.

The food: Until the other dining halls caught up, Rocky-Mathey was one of the best. That said, it’s also dining hall food, and dining hall food gets old. Fortunately, you’re steps away from Chez Alice, Teresa Caffe, Olives and Massimo’s, so really, you can eat whatever you want. Also, love that mushroom strudel. The best part of the dining hall is that it’s open all night. It’s a great place to pull an all-nighter—available for snacking are leftover dessert, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cereal, milk, and coffee and tea.

via Facebook

Henry Velandia, husband of Princeton grad student Josh Vandiver, will officially not be deported. Velandia, who because of the Defense of Marriage Act was unable to be sponsored for a green card by his spouse, had been facing deportation proceedings because of an expired visa. Last Friday, Immigration and Customs Enforcement decided that the case was no longer a priority, and essentially dropped it.

It’s not a total victory for opponents of the federal DOMA, but the couple’s lawyer, Lavi Soloway says it’s the first time the government has decided to drop deportation proceedings on the basis of an LGBT couple’s marriage.

From the Star-Ledger:

Though the decision does not set a legal precedent, it establishes that the government has the power and the inclination to “do the right thing,” Soloway said.

“Frankly, the only obstacle between that individual and a green card is this one law (the Defense of Marriage Act) that the president and the attorney general have said is unconstitutional and that they won’t defend,” he said.

While Soloway acknowledged that the Defense of Marriage Act won’t be repealed or struck down by the Supreme Court overnight, he said the couple’s victory ultimately will contribute to its demise.

Over at the Christian Science Monitor, Tina deVaron ’78 wrote a compelling article on June 28 about date rape on college campuses, sharing her own experience with rape at Princeton, in 1973. The article was sparked by a joint Tigerlilies/Nassoons performance for the university’s She Roars conference in April, which deVaron attended.

We haven’t seen video of the performance, but we hear that part of the Nassoons choreography includes a hip thrust. In her article, deVaron described the choreography as pantomiming “what is essentially gang rape in front of an audience of middle-aged women, many of them moms.”

On the conference’s opening night, a female a cappella group, the Princeton Tigerlilies, gave a concert. The girls sang prettily, dressed in short black frocks and high pumps.

Then the group’s all male a cappella counterpart, the Nassoons, performed. For the song “ShamaLama,” they serenaded one of the Tigerlilies onstage, with choreography: In rhythm, they pantomimed unzipping their flies, and bluntly thrust their pelvises forward at the lone young woman on stage. Sixteen guys, one girl. The guys smirked, the girl smiled meekly.

Accounts from people who saw the performance suggest that the two a capella groups weren’t intending to promote any sexual violence with their choreography, and it appears no complaints were voiced after the performance in April. Still, the article has sparked a new discussion about college culture.

Weigh in with your thoughts in the comments.

This week, it’s all about animals from hell. Mostly because–aside from a tornado warning–nothing much happened in the post-Reunions afterglow.

Described as both a “demon of underworld” and “worm from hell,” the Halicephalobus mephisto, a new species of nematode named after Faust’s Lord of the Underworld, has been discovered by Geosciences professor Tullis Onstott, in South Africa, 2.2 miles below the earth. Previously, it was thought that only single-celled bacteria existed at that depth. Basically, the biosphere just got a lot bigger. The discovery of this worm hints that life deep underground in Mars may be more plausible than we thought. The best part? It grazes on tiny bacteria living in biofilm (described as “big, snot layers of gelatinous goo”).

From Catholic Online (No idea.):

“The find entirely changes how and where scientists believe multi-cellular life can exist. While nematoda are known to live on the ocean floor and as far at 10 to 20 feet beneath the ocean bed, this discovery puts them about a mile beneath the surface.”

“We tried to get the title of the paper to be ‘Worms from Hell,’” study author Tullis Onstott of Princeton University joked. The highly respected journal Nature passed on the idea.

Closer to home, Princeton had another close call with the dangers of wildlife. Students were sent a Public Safety alert last Friday, after a raccoon with rabies was captured in Princeton Township, near a local school.

From the Princeton Packet:

”It wasn’t acting right,” said David Henry, Princeton Health Officer. “It seemed to have neurological symptoms. School officials didn’t think it was acting right and since it was 9 o’clock in the mooring school officials called animal control for an assessment.”

Though I must admit I don’t know the “right” way for a raccoon to act, I can say with some authority that raccoons–rabid or not–are a lot scarier than you’d think. Less cuddly, more:

Black bear cub! From "bear.org!"

After three years at Princeton, I’ve come to associate Campus Safety Alerts with two things: toy guns (Three, yes, three times) and campus creepers. I’ve never really been happy to see Donald P. Reichling’s name pop up in my inbox, you know? Which I know might seem too much to ask from Public Safety, but sometimes don’t you just want to be surprised, and not in a trench coat on the tow path way?

I mean, I guess that was what Vivienne was getting at last month, when she compared Public Safety’s crime prevention tips to a list of Mountain Lion Safety Tips. Too much public indecency, not enough mountain lions.

Today, Public Safety surprised me. No, Public Safety delighted me. I opened Donald P. Reichling’s email as I always do, with a sad sigh and a sideways glance at the drawer where I stuffed the pepper spray my parents bought me before freshman year (Yeah, it’s pink, get it? Because I’m a girl.) And then I smiled.

Because, Vivienne, it happened. Roaming the streets of Princeton is a black bear.

From this morning’s Public Safety alert:

The Department of Public Safety is alerting community members about a reported sighting of a black bear in Princeton Township. A Princeton University staff member saw the black bear around 5:30 a.m. today.

The black bear was reported last seen in the area of the Hun School in Princeton at about 8 a.m. The bear did not come in contact with any person, nor did it present any threat.

Princeton Borough Police, Princeton Township Police, Animal Control and the Division of Wildlife Fish and Game were alerted to this report.

If you see a bear, do not approach or attempt to feed it, but please contact the Princeton Borough Police, Princeton Township Police, or Public Safety, or just dial 911 and give the exact location of the animal. Leave the area calmly and slowly.

In the interest of public service, we’ve compiled some black bear safety tips from the Internet, which is the first place to go for not only medical advice, but also bear advice! (ed. note: No.)

If You Encounter a Bear…

• Remain calm and avoid sudden movements.
• Give the bear plenty of room, allowing it to continue its activities undisturbed. If it changes its behavior, you’re too close so back away.
• If you see a bear but the bear doesn’t see you, detour quickly and quietly.
• Remember that a standing bear is not always a sign of aggression. Many times, bears will stand to get a better view.
• Never feed or throw food to a bear.
• If you have pepper spray, be sure that you have trained with it before using it during an attack.

Note that these tips will also apply to our more frequent campus visitors.

Best First Lady ever? Michelle Obama ‘85 visited Alice Deal Middle School in Washington, DC, today where students performed a dance choreographed by Beyonce. The First Lady joined in–watch the video above.

“Beyoncé is one of my favorite performers on the planet.  And when she agreed to remake her video and do this “Let’s Move” flash workout, I was so excited, because this is what we’ve been talking about — that exercise and moving can be fun,” Mrs. Obama said, “It’s about dancing, it’s about moving.”

(via ABC News)

But one of the main draws to the well-attended event: a table kept well stocked with fake mustaches of various shapes. We asked some attendees to tell us the story behind their mustache.

• Savannah Hankinson ‘13 as Salvador Dali

Well, my mustache. Em, I have many problems with my father, so I grew it out of rebellion, de mi padre, for my father. I think it is very sensual, sexual, como–like my paintings. Yes. And, people cannot resist it, and I think it looks wonderful. It brings out the surrealism that I like to live, through my life and my paintings, and my films as well.

• Marjorie Crowell ‘12 and Ashley Wenke, Rutgers

Am I wearing my mustache upside down?
Ashley: I don’t think so.
I just like yours more than mine.
Marjorie: Yours is more like Burt Reynolds, I think.
That’s the vibe I’m getting. So tell me about your mustaches.
Ashley: Well, it was a very hard decision, what mustache I was going to pick.  Ultimately, I saw Marj going for the little curl flip, and I could not resist.
How would you describe your mustache?
Ashley: Charlie Chaplin?
Marjorie: Yeah. We saw the mustaches, and no one else was wearing them. So we debated for a while whether it’d be weird to be the first ones to put them on. I think there may have been one other person, but he was like, hanging out in the corner. Which is obviously what you want to do when you are the only one wearing a fake mustache.

• Evan Warner ‘12

I first grew this mustache in the Mexican-American war, and I’ve kept it ever since as a tribute to my fallen comrades.

• Briana Ndife ‘11 and Jack Schoening ‘11

Briana: I came to the art museum, and I got really excited about the art. And then I saw the art collage table, so I started playing with it. I saw everyone else having a mustache, and then I felt like I wanted to sport a mustache as well, to be like…
To really feel the art.
Briana: Yeah, definitely. It’s been a lot of fun.
Do you think it has changed your personality?
Briana: I mean, it’s too soon to say. But I feel like, yeah, sure.
The seed has been planted.
Briana: Yeah!
You’re an artist now.
Briana: Yeah, thanks!
Jack: I don’t really know the story behind my mustache–do you know the story about my mustache?
No.
Jack: I just put it on.
How would you describe it?
Jack: I would say it’s lush. Makes me look older. It attracts women. I feel artistic.
Do you think you’re going to keep it around?
Jack: I think so.

Shields, a member of the Class of 1987, is one of Princeton’s most famous alumni, and is known for her starring roles in movies like “The Blue Lagoon” and “Pretty Baby.” This picture is of Shields at her own graduation, where she was escorted by a bodyguard, and surrounded by classmates wearing buttons that said, “Yes, I went to Princeton. No, I never met her.”

Read more at the Star-Ledger.