LIVEBLOG: Dean’s Date, Spring 2016



5:11pm — 1981 Hall, Whitman College

Congrats to everyone on finishing Dean’s Date everyone! You all rock!

While I was moping about working/submitting my assignments, my roommate found this adorable pamphlet under our door!

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The artwork was amazing, and it really warmed my heart! Thank you to whoever sent these!


4:58pm — McCosh Courtyard

The time is near – get your doughnuts, waffles and bubble tea before the masses approach!




It’s the end of Dean’s Date. You rush to finish your last assignment’s bibliography, readme, or cover letter. Your vision is starting to blur. Everything looks the same. Can you still tell the difference between these pictures?



Sheepdog or Mop?


Dog or Bagel?


Raw Chicken or Donald Trump?



4:45pm–The Street

Spending the last few minutes of Dean’s Date on

Which has gems like:



50 cent på RxR Foto: Erik Holsvik


And of course:


I just don’t understand why people didn’t want him at Lawnparties last year.


4:37pm–Firestone Library

Check it:



3:22pm–In that weird space between having a finished paper but not wanting to send it in yet

Adventures in Googling “Dean’s Date”:

Also, **judgment**, not judgement. We don’t live in England, folks.


3:06pm — Little Hall

Less than two hours to go now! Yesterday’s sun and blue skies have given way to a gloomier, grayer outlook today –– maybe pathetic fallacy is a real thing after all?

We might not be getting any dramatic sunsets to mark the end of Dean’s Date, but here’s one of the most beautiful dusks I’ve experienced in my life, right here by Lake Carnegie.


3:06pm–Marquand Library

The internet has been graced by an Orange is the New Black trailer today – they share our colors, so it’s a sign. Also puts things into perspective. Note, however, that Laura Prepon is missing from the clip. Has she returned to mother scientology?? Ponder that as you write.


2:25pm–Baker Rink

After reading about Ryan and Rachel’s romantic beginnings on Dean’s Date (, I began to wonder how many other Princeton couples met and started dating thanks to this bi-annual 24-hour crunch. I made it my mission to find another Dean’s Date couple, and after much careful searching and painstaking journalistic investigation, I found Mallika ‘17 and Sam ‘19. I sat down with Mallika, Sam, and Mallika and Sam’s friend Maya ‘17, to get the scoop.

RPH: How did you two first meet?

Mallika: It was the end of Dean’s Date, and I was going to watch a movie with [female name redacted] and then [female name redacted] was a little bit drunk at 5pm, so she goes into the green room [of the CJL] and was like to Sam and [male name redacted] “okay, the two of you, come see a movie and drink with me,” so they came-

Sam: So [male name redacted] and I went to [female name redacted]’s room and we watched a movie while [female name redacted] was drunk, so then we went to go ice skating-

Mallika: We didn’t finish the movie, the movie was Galaxy Quest, starring, what was his name again?

Sam: Alan Rickman

Mallika: Alan Rickman, and the following day, Alan Rickman died, which was a weird coincidence

Sam: Alan Rickman died so that we could be together it wasn’t a coincidence.

Mallika: Then we went ice skating, or at least we tried, [female name redacted] somehow was able to skate backwards, even though she was drunk, and then Sam could not skate at all, which actually explains why he couldn’t ski at all, even sober

Sam: Skiing I was sober

RPH: Sorry, you went skating and skiing on the same night? Please clarify.

[caption id="attachment_18468" align="aligncenter" width="744"]Mallika and Sam go ice skating the night of Dean's Date Mallika and Sam go ice skating the night of Dean’s Date[/caption]

Mallika: After we started dating, over intersession we went on a ski trip with a group of friends-

RPH: How soon after you met on Dean’s Date did you start dating?

Mallika: A week later

RPH: Okay, got it, fifteen minutes later

Mallika: Well, because we had so much time after Dean’s Date, I saw him every day, we talked-

Sam: I found you a charger!

Mallika: My charger died, and Sam said “oh, I’ll find you a charger,” and I said, “no, it’s okay” and then he found me a charger, because I had to write an essay and was very stressed about it

RPH: That sounds really romantic

Mallika: First he brought-

Sam: I did a lot of favors to get that charger. Some of them might have been sexual-

Mallika: FIRST he brought the wrong charger, and then he was like “I’ll find you the right charger, and I said “no, don’t worry about it,” and then he brought me the right charger later in the day, and then I knew he liked me, and I was very happy.

RPH: Who asked whom out?

Sam: Mallika did. Well, I kinda, I did.

Mallika: I thought we were dating, Sam wasn’t sure.

RPH: I’m sorry what?

Sam: Shabbat happened immediately after-

Mallika: That’s not true

Sam: Shabbat happened three days after

Mallika: It was a Tuesday

Sam: It was four days after. And I was talking to Benjy ‘19 one night, and I was like Mallika and I might be dating, I’m not sure, we haven’t talked about it

Mallika: I of course told my friends, who were very excited, and then they went up to Sam and said “we approve”, and he wasn’t sure what that meant

Sam: I think people usually talk about it

RPH: You mean the two people who are dating usually talk about the fact that they’re dating?

Mallika: Yeah, when they start dating.

Sam: We’re very progressive.

Mallika: I thought it was clear that we would be something.

Sam: Well I’m certainly not a one night stand.

RPH: How long have you been dating now?

Mallika: In nine days, it’ll be four mon-

Sam: Four months.

Mallika: Almost four months.

RPH: Maya, what are your thoughts on Mallika and Sam’s relationship?

Maya: It seems solid.

RPH: Did you think it was a little hasty that they started dating fifteen minutes after they met?

Mallika: We were already cast in a play together, I’ll have you know.

Sam: Juror Nine and Juror One.

RPH: In the play, are Juror Nine and Juror One in a romantic relationship?

Sam: I mean in a Freudian sense… Juror Nine was an old man.

Maya: I sat next to Sam’s mother when I went to see Juror Nine and Juror One perform.

Sam: Yes in lieu of Mallika’s mother meeting my mother, Maya met my mother

Mallika: Long story short, we started dating because [female name redacted] got drunk on Dean’s Date and invited Sam and [male name redacted], who she was not friends with.

RPH: How does [female name redacted] feel about the relationship?

Sam: Very happy. She sent me a text saying “I approve.” I didn’t know we were dating at that point.

So good luck finding your true love this Dean’s Date. If you do, you just might make it into next year’s UPC Dean’s Date Liveblog.


2:05 pm– My Safari Through Campus 2.0

Back with the second installment of: What is the most recent tab on the Safari app on your phone? Let’s see what students are Googling less than 3 hours from the Dean’s Date deadline.

“Cheyenne Frontier Days 2016”

“How Reagan promoted genocide”

“Princeton Honor Code”

“Handmade duck illustration”

“Who founded Mother’s Day?”

“Best movies to watch when drunk

“Edible water bottles”

“Promise rings for men”

“Play it by year vs. play it by ear”

…And here is the conversation that prompted this search:


Stay curious, Princeton.



12:27pm — The interwebs

There’s a new Dean’s Date motto:

“I have the best words”

Credit to TN ’17. When she told me the Dean’s Date motto should be “I have the best words,” I made the same mistake I always do:


Good luck with all the words.


12:09 pm–The Depths of Despair

A story in sixteen seconds:

How I feel now:

How I will feel at 5:01 pm:

If you want to see how that kid turned out twelve years down the line, check out this clip from Houseparties weekend:

(lol @ BP ’19)


(h/t once again to the Vine Kings, you know who you are)

11:53 AM–1981 Common Room


These students are catching up on z’s after a long night of work, I assume. Or taking a quick nap before finishing their last essays. Either way, they deserve the rest!


11:22 am –Berlin, Germany

At this hour you might be wondering things like “why did I choose Princeton over Brown again – is the extra work really worth it?” or “why did I choose Princeton at all – people abroad don’t even recognize our name and force us to invoke Harvard so they understand that we’re prestigious, right?”

If your Princeton spirit is lagging, have no fear! The Princeton Pugs (and their Labrador colleague) are here to help:






11:15 am–Whitman Library 

Facing impending doom? Here’s the song for you! A top pick from my Dean’s Date playlist.

It’s Mozart! What a guy.

Listen to the lyrics.

Kyrie, eleison.
Christe, eleison.
Kyrie, eleison.

Translated from latin, they’re:

“Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us.”

Repeated OVER AND OVER for 2 and a half minutes.

If that isn’t Dean’s Date, I don’t know what is.

(Substitute ‘Lord’ and ‘Christ’ for your own personal deity/ flying spaghetti monster)


10:49 am – Chancellor Green Cafe


Have you ever wondered what happens to all that caffeine after coffee is decaffeinated to make decaf?

What does caffeine actually look like? And where does it come from?

At Atlantic Coffee Solutions, a factory in downtown Houston, tens of millions of pounds of coffee beans each year are decaffeinated.

Here’s how NPR explained the action:

Hour by hour, batches of beans drop from those silos into a pair of stainless steel cylinders. They’re marvels of engineering, 60 feet tall, with walls half-a-foot thick to withstand incredible pressure. Over 10 hours, the beans slowly work their way from top to bottom, while “supercritical” carbon dioxide, a special form of the chemical that forms under high pressure, is pumped through the bed of beans. (NPR)

“The supercritical CO2 penetrates the beans and pulls the caffeine out,” Wheatley told NPR.

After the caffeine is pulled out, a water spray is washes the caffeine out of the carbon dioxide. Next, the water is evaporated, and the brown powered that is left behind is…crude caffeine.

Where does all that caffeine go?

First, it goes to refiners to remove the impurities. During the decaffeination process, coffee oils taint the caffeine, giving the crude caffeine a pungent smell and a brown color. Pure caffeine, by contrast, are white and odorless.

Once the impurities are removed, the caffeine is ready to be sent to beverage companies be added to drinks like Coca Cola and Pepsi.

How strong is crude caffeine? To give you an idea, this small bag of caffeine below, which is 90 percent pure, has “as much caffeine as 1,000 tall lattes from Starbucks, or 2,000 cans of Coke or Pepsi” –– enough to kill “several people.”

Yikes. Stay safe out there while you caffeine-power yourself through the last 6 hours and 11 minutes of Dean’s Date!

[caption id="attachment_18448" align="alignleft" width="700"]Morgan McCloy/NPR Photo: Morgan McCloy/NPR[/caption]




10:35 am–Whitman Library 

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Dean got another one.


9:45AM — Chancellor Green Cafe

I don’t know about you, but I’m bored with writing papers.  I tried making a mini Dean’s Date crossword grid for you guys, but got stuck. So I looked up these Princeton cartoons instead. Enjoy.

[caption id="attachment_18439" align="aligncenter" width="473"]henry-martin-chest-42-waist-38-inseam-33-princeton-48-new-yorker-cartoon Source: AllPosters.Com[/caption] [caption id="attachment_18440" align="aligncenter" width="366"]charles-saxon-you-know-how-it-is-ted-since-i-went-to-princeton-i-was-sort-of-h-new-yorker-cartoon By Charles Saxon. Conde Nast Collection.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_18441" align="aligncenter" width="420"]michael-crawford-cheer-up-nicole-what-does-princeton-know-say-you-got-any-plans-for-new-yorker-cartoon By Michael Crawford. Conde Nast Collection.[/caption]


9:44 AM–Whitman College

Saw this funny gif as I was procrastinating on my paper:

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I know some of you might feel discouraged to continue anymore, but you all can make it through! :) Keep on truckin’.


9:10 AM–1918 Hall

For those of you who struggle to get up in the morning, I’ve got some great jams you guys can easily get your day started right:

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“FREAKING OUT” – This song resonates with many of us on a spiritual level; whether you’ve got pages to write or having the worst writer’s block, just keep saying to yourself, “I’m not freaking out.”

“MAGIC TOUCH” – I think there’s just something so magical about pressing that submit button on an essay. One could even say it has a “magic touch.” 😉

“OK” – No matter how many assignments you might have left, no matter how much you feel like you can’t do it, everything is going to be “ok,” because you’re gonna do amazing things, regardless.

Anyway, that’s it for now, but please give these songs a listen and I’m sure you’ll be ready to pump out those last assignments.


8:55 AM — East Pyne Courtyard

On my way to the Chancellor Green Cafe this morning, this sign caught my eye:

It’s kind of confusing.

Does it say “No Parking, Violators Will be Towed”?

Or does it say “No Parking Violators Will be Towed”? As in, be a parking violator, you won’t be towed!

Something to keep in mind as you write your papers 😉


5:29 AM–Frist Room 307

Less than 24 hours to go, but BodyHype dance company is still going strong. Hell-week and reading-week overlapping? No problem. They just pull collective all-nighters together and try their best to think of it as a pleasant bonding experience.


Jhor van der Horst ’19 stands next to the blackboard documentation of the groups collective progress. On the leftmost column are the number of pages written for each individual, the middle column are the total number of pages completed for each individual, and the rightmost column time-stamps percentage of work done for the whole group. At 5:14 AM, the group was 61.3% done. At least that’s over halfway done, right?

[caption id="attachment_18429" align="alignnone" width="563"]IMG_5227 Jhor van der Horst stands next to the BodyHype statistics with a pouty face, after scribbling on the side “no bueno.”[/caption]


3:01– Only 3 hours, 1 minute after Holder Howl 

While the Holder Howl has seen better days (which may be due to the event’s recent lack of pizza), students seem to express passionate feelings towards the <1-minute gathering. I stuck around after the Howl and asked students what the bi-yearly gathering means to them:

“The Holder Howl is a spiritual experience. I felt reborn, complete. I’m not like one of those people who has assignments due on Dean’s Date. I’m a math major. I was sleeping, it was like 10, and my roommate walks in and says ‘Are you going to miss the Holder How?’ and I instantly get out of bed because I can’t miss this.” –EB ‘18

“My freshman year I lived over in Holder and I was really, really scared because I didn’t know it was tradition and when it actually started happening at midnight I thought the whole campus was going crazy and I was actually really scared for like thirty minutes afterward and I didn’t get any work done and I just went to bed really, really frightened. But then I realized it was a great tradition.” –JP ‘18

“My name is Fey and I missed the Holder Howl. I just feel as though there are some things that only happen twice a year: the queen has her birthday, there’s a Dean Date and there’s a Holder Howl.” –FP ‘19

“It was a long howl.” –JK ‘16


Page six, essay II–48 University Place

Steph Curry, the MVP of the NBA for two years running and a God among men, returned today in game five of the second round of the Western Conference Playoffs, after sitting out for over two weeks with a knee injury caused by a scary slip on the court in a first round game.

Things started slowly for Curry tonight as he readjusted to life as a God among men, but he broke out in the end of the fourth quarter, shooting a bunch of Steph-Curry-threes to help Golden State tie the game up with Portland. And then, in overtime, Curry channelled his inner Zeus and erupted for 17 of the Warrior’s 21 points, and single-handedly outscoring the Trail Blazers entire team to lead Golden State to victory.

Am I procrasti-writing a sports article to forget about the many pages I have yet to write for my actual classes? Yes, yes I am? Is Steph Curry still a God among men ? Yes, yes he is.

In honor of Steph Curry’s triumphant return, I present to you this Youtube video compilation of all of Curry’s best and wildest three pointers from the 2015-16 regular season.

If anyone ever tells you that you can’t do something, just remember, Steph Curry was ignored by almost every college basketball program and isn’t even the top paid player on his own team because the team management was worried about the health of his ankles and had yet to realize that he was a God among men.

He’s back. He’s got this. You got this.


2:20 am– Firestone, B Level 

Mikaela’s Muses



2:00 am–1918 Hall

Even though many things have perished this Dean’s Date (i.e. our motivation, our sense of healthy sleep, our self-esteem), there is one thing that is still keeping some of us going: F R I E N D S H I P


Here’s what they had to say in response to their friendship keeping them strong this Dean’s Date:

“If I’m gonna suffer, she suffers with me.” -TO, ’19

“She says all the things I think.” -BP, ’19 (BP actually said tings and tinks, but said she was slurring her words for comical purposes).

While friendship never sleeps, all of us should. Please get some rest everyone!


1:40 am–48 University Place

This just in: people are pissed at GSF for sharing that game.

 Here’s something we received tonight on our brand new Snapchat (Follow us at “Univpressclub”) :722x1280.jpeg

It seems a poor soul has fallen prey to the addictiveness of Slither. And he’s not happy.

This gem was also spotted on Facebook.



For everyone whose productivity has been completely derailed thanks to GSF, I would like to apologize.

( I did say ‘reader beware’  – GSF)


1:20 am–Whitman Courtyard/Whitman College

Good early morning, everyone! Hope you are keeping up on those assignments. But if you’re feeling a little tired, here’s a clip of the Whitman Wail that happened just an hour ago! Feel free to set this as your new alarm:

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I wonder why Whitman Whales wail wildly with willfulness. Some say they might even be Holder Howl imposters, but hey, those are just rumors. But will either shouts ever compare this gem?

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1:06am–Baker Hall, Whitman College/Dillon Gym

How were there still people at the gym on Dean’s Date Eve at 11pm? Here’s photo evidence:


Why is Dillon so busy when it should be empty? How do so many people have their lives together on this night of horror? Are they just trying to make us feel bad as we walk past the fitness center windows on our way to Firestone?

And as if that weren’t enough . . . (apparently) ball is lyfe (even during Dean’s Date). Evidence below. FullSizeRender-1


12:35am — 1915 Hall

At a certain point in the night, your writing becomes so incoherent that you might as well be writing random words. Well, I’m here to help you out. Using my freshman COS126 skills, I built a Markov Model and I’m plugging your Dean’s Date essays in for just a small fee.

Here are some success stories so far:

A Fleeting Time Under the Sun: The Significance of the German Navy Under Kaiser Wilhelm II

By GSF ’17

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.23.06 AM

Restoring Pareto Efficiency via a Pigouvian Tax on Air Pollution

By AH ’18 and RS ’18

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.08.34 AM

LuluLemon and the Racialization of Wellness

By AC ’16

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.32.34 AM

The Deployment of Probiotics in the Prevention of Necrotizing Enterocolitis in Preterm Infants
By MV ’17
Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.37.37 AM
“The Bond of Words”: Johannes Reuchlin and the Language of Theology
By MR ’17
Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.41.27 AM
FSB Report #12П8000000: Supernatural Occurrence in Volgograd Oblast
By SS ’19
Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.44.31 AM
And, since this post wasn’t freshman enough, here’s my R3. I guarantee it’s much more coherent now.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual?: Examining dominant paradigms of consent in the BDSM world

By RH ’19

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.50.40 AM

… which includes the sentence “unless it’s not consensual non-consensual consent, scene consent expressed by radical notion of consent.”


Okay, so maybe my essay still needs some editing. I’m happy with the cover page though. I’ll work on the rest later.

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.55.28 AM


12:13am — Little Hall

Bored of reading your books? Wish you could do something with books other than just reading them? Perhaps you should try your hand at some book origami.

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Photos courtesy of



A massage train has begun and is rapidly growing.

Screen Shot 2016-05-09 at 11.51.12 PM

It grew from 3 people to 4 people in under five minutes. That’s an increase of 33%!

If you’re interested in forming a 2-person massage train, led by me, come to 1915 hall stat.


11:34pm–Baker Hall, Whitman College

After a solid semester of being surrounded by ~intellectualism~ at Princeton, we begin to speak another language . . . and by Dean’s Date, we’ve hit our peak. Here’s a collection of quotes from your peers who have gone a little too deep into the hole of ridiculous academia.

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“Using the tower for ventilation would have made the most sense for Caine, given that he was using his own feces to grow the vegetables in the greenhouse.”

-AY ‘17

“Giving into an illusion of sweetness after initial misgivings, Proust’s narrator exhibits the qualities of a palimpsest: through a constant rewriting of the habits and valuations that he uses to interpret and interact with the world, Marcel is able to reconfigure his successive experiences into a functioning, composite whole.”

-KC ‘17

“The third and most bizarre incident with the pair of eyes begins when they reappear to the protagonist at night prompting her to fondle her breasts as two long, gleaming fangs shine in the darkness.”

-MB ‘17

“If ‘the poems of Eliot’ are ‘by the Uranian Muse begot,’ he writes, then a ‘diligent Reader’ should know that ‘on each Occasion, Ezra performed the Caesarean Operation.’”

-SS ‘16

“Even the use of the ‘erotics’ is in itself an abstraction: the ‘erotic’ is different from the ‘sexual’ which is different from ‘f***ing’ and even more so ‘a**-f***ing.’”

-CM ‘18

“Once the beam subsided, tornadoes rip through the capital city until nuclear warheads destroy the mirror.”

-MB ‘17

“Sebald further strengthens the refigured aura through strategic placement of the photograph within the text, which highlights an emotional aspect of the memory. This emotional experience adds another layer to the refashioned aura, both highlighting the disruption of the original aura and strengthening the refashioned one.”

-LS ’18 (Yes, it’s me)

“Fire and S***” – title of an anthropology paper about our ability to utilize fire to cook food affecting brain growth

-EA ‘19

And the ultimate Princeton move: citing your own article in your Dean’s Date paper:


-MH ‘17


11:21pm — Firestone Library

Notable trends as recorded by Firestone student workers: A lot more Starbucks than usual, ridiculously high stacks of books on desks, and people walking into the entryway’s metal bars because they forget to swipe their prox out of a sleep-deprived stupor. Although, hasn’t everyone done that before?

Your friendly Firestone workers are always watching:



11:06 pm — Little Hall

When I get lonely in the dark depths of Dean’s Date Eve, I turn to photos of Hong Kong –– home –– and daydream about hiking in the mountains.

A photo posted by Mary Hui (@maryhui) on

A photo posted by Mary Hui (@maryhui) on

A photo posted by Mary Hui (@maryhui) on

A photo posted by Mary Hui (@maryhui) on

A photo posted by Mary Hui (@maryhui) on

A photo posted by Mary Hui (@maryhui) on

A photo posted by Mary Hui (@maryhui) on



10:36 pm — Little Hall

Yesterday, Greg Leeper, a junior on the men’s Track and Field team, ran the race of his life to become the Ivy League champion in the 400m hurdles.

He had an absolutely epic finish. With the home crowd roaring at him, Leeper edged out his rival right at the finish line, beating him by three-hundredths of a second with a winning time of 52.28.

This is a video that you won’t want to miss.


10:16 pm — Lewis Library


Dean’s Date Pro Tip #23: “Hide those tired eyes, with glasses that’ll energize!”


10:07pm — Little Hall

Did you know that that cardboard sleeve you get with your takeaway coffee has an actual name? Yep. They’re called a ZARF.

Thanks, New York Times mini crossword for this wonderful piece of trivia.


9:27 pm –Architecture Library

This vine captures so many of my current feelings about the way this paper is going.

But mostly it’s hilarious. Watch with sound for full effect.


(h/t to Princeton’s premier Vine curators, WC’17 & WG ’17)

9:17 pm– Frist

Hey. There’s new Snapple flavors at late meal, including Green Tea and Strawberry Kiwi. It’s the little things.

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9:08pm–Baker Hall, Whitman College

“It all began the night of January 14th, 2003. This Tuesday night was Dean’s Date at Princeton University…”

Dean’s Date is known as the killer of grades, hopes, dreams, aspirations, and sometimes even sanity. But what if Dean’s Date weren”t all bad??? What if Dean’s Date could bring people together, create love and harmony, and change people’s lives for the better?

I’m here to tell you . . . It’s not a myth. While you are all complaining about Dean’s Date ruining your lives, you are missing out on finding your soul mate. That’s right–Dean’s Date might be your chance to find the (wo)man of your dreams. At least, it was in 2003:

Don’t give up hope!!


9:05pm–Still babysitting




We know you’d rather be watching Game of Thrones, so to give you a taste of what you’re missing: Dean’s Date as told by GOT

1.When the writing center doesn’t “get” your draft.

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2.When you start feeling that writer’s block.

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3.When you realize that your thesis hinges on personal musings that can’t be supported by sources.

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4.When someone from precept keeps on eliciting prompt clarifications.

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5.When you overwrite the document you thought was just notes, but actually contains a good chunk of your paper.

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6.When you ask your preceptor for constructive criticism.

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7.When you find someone with HBO Go and therefore access to the GOT episodes you’ve missed.

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8.When your power-nap turns into six hours.

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9.When you embark on that trip to the U-Store for sustenance.

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10.When you realize that you might have misread the prompt after proofreading.

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Valar Morghulis


8:37pm–Babysitting (the night before Dean’s Date??)

Because we are here to provide the pro-est procrastination, if you’re really looking to waste some time learning a whole lot about something you probably don’t care that much about but that is actually super interesting, here’s a throwback to GF ’17’s crowning blog post for the Ink: An in-depth, high-stakes, investigative journalism piece on…the mysterious bust of an old white dude?



8:24 pm — Chancellor Green Café

If you’re looking for ways to force yourself to stay awake tonight, check out this novel method. It’s literally…hair-raising.

[caption id="attachment_18336" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Source: Huffington Post Source: Huffington Post[/caption]

Two Chinese students at a university in southeast China devised a nifty contraption consisting of a clothes dryer hung from the ceiling, the Huffington Post reported in 2014.

They would pin their hair up using the clothes dryer’s clips, and if ever they started to nod off, they would be jolted awake with a rude and painful yank of their hair.

They were inspired by two historic Chinese, who kept themselves awake by using similarly pain-inducing methods: one tied up his hair to the ceiling beam, and the other would stab himself. Check it out:


Genius, no? Now go, run off to the UStore or CVS to grab yourself some hair clips.


7:45 pm–B Floor Reading Room

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^Me at fstone right now


7:04 pm–Architecture Library

Reader beware:

What I am about to share may radically alter the course of your Dean’s Date. Currently, you may be, say, mid-sentence in the second paragraph of the first page of your paper for your history course, but after clicking on this link, you might find yourself waking up in the middle of the night from a dreamlike stupor with your hands glued to your keyboard.

I bring you: slither.iothe next generation of the classic game of Snake, only far more engaging and digitally intoxicating.

I apologize/take full credit* in advance.

A preview of the journey that lies ahead:

Screen Shot 2016-05-09 at 7.07.21 PM



*I by no means take full credit. Credit mostly goes to WG ’17 who kindly/devilishly introduced me to this game.

6:46 pm– CJL

We’ve changed the game.


That’s right. We made a Snapchat. Add “univpressclub” on the Snap for even more shenanigans.


6:17pm – Firestone Library

’Tis the season for book returns! One of the best parts shedding your Dean’s Date workload is losing the pounds of books that go with it.

Firestone Returns

A photo-shy librarian said that Firestone’s busiest season has begun.

“People are finishing their papers and clearing their carrels. From now until June 15th, it’s crazy.”


5:38pm–Marquand Library 

There is never more thirst per capita than in Marquand library on the day before Dean’s Date.

Except maybe the TI dance floor on State Night…



5:25pm–48 University Place

Currently seeking guidance on my paper from the Dog of Wisdom…


5:07pm–Somewhere in Dean’s Date hell:

There are so many layers to this tweet/video. I feel like it is an extended metaphor for my semester.

At first I thought, “these classes are great, this is going to be so fun!”

Then, things got a little bumpy but I was like, “this is still pretty cool, at least it’s a wild ride!”

Now, I’m at the point where I just fell out of the laundry basket and the tumble is beginning.

But the fall will end soon and I will pick myself up. And I will do this all again.

Also, shout out to all my friends who say things like, “are you okay?” Thanks for always having my back when I’m falling in a laundry hamper down a flight of stairs…


5:00pm — 48 University Place, Home of the University Press Club office and the source of your entertainment for the next 24 hours:

The time is upon us once more. As we all timidly step into the gaping, black hole that is Dean’s Date (or rather, are forcefully and violently thrown in by the inevitability of time itself, no matter how much we try to deny it), University Press Club is here again to provide some hope–that is, if hope can be found in “hard-hitting reporting,” “important news,” and “serious commentary” (quotation marks not unintentional).

As you labor through 30, 40, or even 50 pages of writing (go ahead, brag about who has the most), make the most of your procrastination, give into that guilty pleasure, and check back frequently. We’ll be updating constantly over the next 24 hours to keep you sane because sometimes making fun of ourselves is the only way to make it through–and that’s our specialty (although Princeton makes that pretty easy, anyway).

Go forth, write pages, get distracted, write some more, get distracted again, drink too much coffee, fall asleep in weird places, find yourself in deep, dark, unspeakable places on the Internet, and, honestly, just try to stay alive. We’ll be there to cover it.

Vine h/t WG ’17