LIVEBLOG: Dean’s Date, Fall 2015


4:57 pm–My bed

How much do stressed-out, exhausted Princeton students love socks? A lot, apparently. The line for free socks that USG will be handing out at 5 pm in McCosh now stretches all the way back to Prospect House.1136x474.jpeg

Good thing the Marching Band is there to keep people company as they wait in the frigid weather for some socks.

Said no one.


Also, at a table with no line but way too many eager people who love free shirts, students are choosing from a variety of “vintage” free shirts in a t-shirt giveaway. Apparently, in 2016 the word vintage is now used as a placeholder for old crap that no one wanted in the late 2000s.

Here’s one gem, though: EW ’16 modeling a t-shirt advocating for cross pollination!


4:40 pm — UPC plays Danielle, Dean, and Abe! (D.D.A.) Part 3!

Now that we’re all in the final stretch of Dean’s Date, let’s check up on our three friends and see how they’re progressing in this final hour!

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Wow… I mean, WOW! Look at all these fantastic students getting their work done so punctually, I’m so proud that we have such hard-working students here at Princeton! Let’s catch up and see what they’re doing now!

Danielle – “I finally did it… I finally submitted that essay. I might have had to stay up a little longer than I should, but I got it done. Turns out I was wearing some make-up, because mascara started running after I cried for at 2 in the morning.”

Dean – “Woah, I can’t believe I just woke up at 4 in the afternoon. You know, because I didn’t have anything to do on Dean’s Date. Wow, I can’t believe how great it is to not have to do anything today. At all. Just great that I don’t have Dean’s Da…”

We stopped talking to him after he kept repeating the same thing over and over again.

Gabe Abe – “W-w-w-w-well, I did it! I managed to write all m-m-m-my essays before 5 pm! I just had to pull an all-nighter and drink 25 cups of c-c-c-offee. Now it is d-d-d-done! I can’t feel m-m-m-my face…”

Well… Um, yay for the end of Dean’s Date! Thanks for keeping up with all of us, and tune in next year! Congratulations for finishing!

4:30 pm — Firestone Library, Lobby

In the entrance to Firestone, you can find this sculpture:


It is called White Sun. Here’s proof:


Now, this sculpture is white, but it is not a sun. I know this because I was in Miami yesterday, and I saw the sun, and it did not look like this. First of all, this sculpture is not a burning mass of hot plasma consisting primarily of hydrogen and helium (we’ve now exhausted my science knowledge), and more importantly, the sun does not have a hole in it.

Here are things with holes in them: bagels, the desert ground at Stanley Yelnats IV’s juvenile detention center, this sculpture.

This is a confusing concept. If you’re still having difficulty understanding holes, or if you’re not, watch this video:



h/t to ES ’17

4:25 pm — Firestone Library, Floor B, Section 4D

Taking yourself too seriously? These people aren’t.

To contribute to this esteemed project, I took a selfie in Firestone, which is maybe the most serious place I’ve been in a while.


Fun fact: I’ve been wearing these pajamas for 60 hours straight.


4:05 pm–McCosh Courtyard

Cupcake Carnivale foodtruck spotted next to the Chapel.

Be sure to make it here by 5:00pm for FREE SOCKS (and other stuff also).



4:00pm–Dod Hall

Dean’s Date is perhaps the worst day of the year…but what if Dean’s Date wasn’t just Dean’s Date?

That’s right! According to this “Today’s Holidays” tumblr,  today is also CURRIED CHICKEN DAY, FEAST OF FABULOUS WILD MEN DAY (???????), and NATIONAL PHARMACIST DAY!

So if you have some time after 5pm, feel completely free to find a fabulous wild man pharmacist with whom to eat curried chicken. Enjoy!

P.S. It’s also apparently “Work Harder Day” and yesterday was “National Clean Off Your Desk Day,” as if the world is not only urging us to work more (is that possible?) but also to actually prepare for Dean’s Date (lol).

P.P.S. Perhaps the most important holiday for today, which is not included on this tumblr, is the birthday of our very own newbie NP! Happy Birthday from the Press Club!

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3:45 pm–McCosh 32

It’s snowing! Kind of…

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If you haven’t been outside, looked out a window, seen light, or crawled out from the bowels of the library for a while, here’s a super ~exciting~ video of the Dean’s Date miracle that is snow. Seeing as it was 61 degrees out a couple of days ago, it kind of is a miracle. But considering it’s January, I think our standards must be pretty low to be excited about this amount of snowfall. BUT if you watch it enough times, I promise you’ll see at least one snowflake fly across the screen. At the very least, it’s like being outside without actually having to stop working on your papers or feel the biting cold!

It’s also windy as hell, with wind gusts of up to 21 mph. Hold onto those papers!


3:40 pm –185 Nassau

As you slog through those final pages, you might be thinking, “wow, I probably have a better chance of winning the lottery than doing well on this paper.”

Well, here’s some good news: you definitely have a better chance of doing well on that paper than winning the lottery. The bad news: that might be because the lottery is just that hard to win.

If you don’t believe me, check out this awesome interactive graphic that the Los Angeles Times put together, which lets you “play the lottery” to understand just how badly the odds of taking home the $$$ are stacked against you.


3:27–185 Nassau

The mascot of Little 101 sums up The Dean’s Date Struggle:

Also, a related video worth watching at any time:

The Duck Army marches onwards to Dean’s Date.

T-1.5 hours.


3:24 pm–CJL Dining Hall

As the hour of judgment approaches, Princeton’s most beloved staff member has some words to cheer you up and keep you going:


3:13 pm–Berlin, Germany

Eva has had it, we’ve all had it. If only Dean’s Date were as charismatic as a pug.

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2:40 pm–Turnin’ Up Firestone Library

Like almost everything ever at Princeton, apparently there is apparently a storied history of punching the growler in “The Stone.” Feel free to partake in the grand ole’ tradition after 5 pm (or before if that’s your more your style.)



2:22 pm–Briskly jogging to deliver History paper due at 3pm (which is cruel)

Tables, chairs, trash cans, and hand sanitizer dispensers spotted across from the chapel.



2:18 — 1939 Hall

Is that my professor or a hobo? Take this quiz to test your identification skills.



1:57 — My Safari through campus

It’s been a long day/night of researching and writing. To prove just how focused we are on our studies, I asked students around campus for their most recent Google search on their phone’s Safari app.

Here’s a what a few of our fellow classmates have been contemplating:

“Drunk baby meme”

“Israeli hummus with paprika recipe”

“Leonardo DiCaprio’s standing ovation”

“The average lifespan of a golden retriever”

“How long does it take to get from the top end of Britain to the bottom end of Britain?”

“Sarah Silverman’s age”

“How many shots are in a handle?”

“Cocktail dresses”

“Cuban Prison”



Keep up the good work, Princeton.



12:33pm–Little Hall

After there was no Powerball lottery winner on Saturday, the jackpot rose to a world-record $1.5 billion. (It’s so huge that lottery workers have had to change their signage, since conventional billboards and electronic signs only display up to $999 million.)

The next drawing is tomorrow, so if you’re feeling like a winner, head up to CVS or down to the Wa to buy yourself a ticket.

A quick moment of silence now for those not only working on Dean’s Date papers, but also psets. (FYI – ORFE dept-sponsored coffee break in Sherrard from 2-4pm. I’ll be there.)

Just remember, when the numbers aren’t making sense anymore, at least this isn’t you (see the original viral post on FB):

(Note: this was posted a few days ago, when the jackpot was $200 million less than it is today.)

12:27 pm–Baker Hall

If your desk looks anything like mine right now, Dean’s Date has played you.



12:10 pm – Chancellor Greene Library

Dean’s Date can put stress on your friendships at Princeton, especially with the people you live with.

Have no fear though, your roommate struggles are likely to pale in comparison to Princeton’s most epic roommate showdown, between Presidential candidate Ted Cruz and his freshman year roommate, Craig Mazin.

Mazin, a screenwriter and director, has been taking shots at his former roommate/nemesis every chance he gets. Recently, that’s pretty often because the guy’s running for president. He has done interviews on his roommate experience and comments frequently on Twitter. A couple recent ones:



Jezebel has a full account of Craig’s exploits here.


11:20 am–Architecture Library

If you want to work in the coolest, most underrated place on campus, you should head over to the Architecture Library, which boasts the coolest, most comfortable array of colorful chairs you will ever see.

Also, The School of Architecture has the only cool Snapchat geotag in the entire university, assumedly an attempt to compensate for the inexcusable ugliness of the building’s exterior.

Check it out:


Also, I just tried to plug my laptop charger into my phone. That’s when you know it’s real.


11:05am – My freezer

If you’re in need of a high-sugar, high-socialism study break, Ben & Jerry’s has the snack for you: Bernie’s Yearning.

According to co-founder Ben Cohen, the flavor is similar to mint chocolate chip, but it requires you to redistribute the chocolate chips yourself.

“When you open up the pint, there’s this big disc of chocolate covering the entire top, and below it is just plain mint ice cream,” Cohen said. “The disc of chocolate represents the 90 percent of the wealth that has gone to the top 10 percent over the last 10 years.

“The way you eat it, you take your spoon, you whack that big chocolate disc into a bunch of little pieces, you mix it around, and there you have it: Bernie’s Yearning.”


(Skip ahead to 3:35, unless you want to watch a 64-year-old Vermontian Jew endorse Bernie Sanders with political arguments instead of ice cream.)

Unfortunately, this flavor doesn’t actually exist yet, and as great as it sounds, it might not be feasible due to big-business buying out Ben and Jerry’s 15 years ago. But we aren’t giving up hope just yet.

An alternative flavor option has been proposed by TheStreet:



The recipe? “The American Cream” – made from 1% milk for the 99%.


h/t to TN ’17 and R’ IBF ’17 

10:20 am – 1901 Hall

Dean’s Date can inspire strange things in people.

On this day ten years ago, “Caitlin” made an account on Blogger to wish everybody a Happy Dean’s Date.  Her profile information seems to have been inspired by the day.Blogger User Profile Caitlin

“Happy Dean’s Date to All!” she wrote in the post, after saying that she was sad about friends studying abroad, worried about her summer job, and that she really doesn’t like someone named Adrianna.

We tried to get further comment, but we couldn’t reach her by AIM.

She only posted one more time, in early February. Seems like Dean’s Date did inspire creativity for her.

At least the title of the blog was creative: 


5:39am – Still in Little Hall

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Print the word search hereDeansDateWordSearch

Can you find all 13 words?





5:03am – Little Hall

Throwback to Dean’s Date, 13 years ago:


As Princeton Alumni Weekly reported at the time: “Matt Mims ’06 sprints across campus to turn in a paper before the deadline on Dean’s Date. His bedsheet, giving him super powers, helped him make the deadline.” (Photo by Frank Wojciechowski)


4:05am–Baker Hall

Remembering Bowie.

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3:45am–The Wa

Empty. I guess I’m the only one awake right now who wants a bowl of Mac and Cheese and a protein shake. Maybe I should rethink my life choices.



3:00 am – 48 University Place (post-Firestone)

Firestone closed at 2 am, with some students taking advantage of the special pre-Dean’s Date hours for checking out books.

One student picked up “six or seven” books at about 1:15 am for a Dean’s Date paper according to Gaby Barber ’17, who was working the Firestone circulation desk. More books on desk = better paper.

In the elevator, someone expressed appreciation for the extended hours:




2:45am–48 University Place




2:25 am–a state of delirium

It is the time of the night when the sentences begin to blend together on the page and the words begin to lose their meaning…and the cats begin to morph into croissants

In honor of this Dean’s Date Live Blog, which henceforth shall be known as the Dean’s Date of the Cats, I present you with:

(Note: this visual experience is notably enhanced by the addition of audio, so plug in those headphones or just blast this out loud for all to hear)


2:16 am–Meanwhile in the WPRB studio…

‘DJ Thrill Nye’ himself is playing late night tunes.

The show “Consider the Following with DJ Thrill Nye” is bringing tunes to late night studiers in the greater Princeton area from 2 – 4 a.m. at 103.3 FM.

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Cause who doesn’t want more Bill Nye in their lives?


1:41 am–Ustore

Walking into the Ustore at 1:30am, I was surprised to see it was almost empty. I talked to an employee and he told me that most of the traffic he saw was at 12:30am, and that, predictably, people were buying caffeine by the boatload. “One guy bought three 5-Hour Energy’s, one for each flavor,” he said. Impressive.

The employee told me he expected to see an influx of second-wave caffeine grabbers soon. Just ten minutes later the influx had arrived:


Why don’t people just do work in the Ustore? It’s a pretty relaxing environment.

Also, they’re playing Superfreak by Rick James on the speakers right now. Mad respect.


1:35am–Firestone, 2nd Floor

‘Twas the Night Before Dean’s Date

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Twas the night before Dean’s Date, when all throughout Firestone

not a student was stirring, their grades to bemoan.

Their hopes were hung to dry above pools of their tears

in thinking this would be different from all the past years.


Wishing to be nestled all snug in their beds,

visions of delirium danced in their heads.

My comrades in carrels, and I in mine too,

occasionally make eye contact, begging for rescue.


When outside this prison there arose such a clatter,

I awoke atop my books and my nice dreams all shattered.

Away from my dream world where Princeton gives A’s,

I came down to reality where professors laugh as they slay.


The Holder Howl awakened me from quite pleasant dreams,

but this nightmare continues amidst all their screams.

It’s already midnight and my word count is zero,

but I know at this point I must be my own hero.


Drinking 5-hour energys in increments of threes,

I hunker down and tell myself ‘C’s GET DEGREES.”

Princeton has taught me a lot of fancy words,

so I try to use them all, whenever opportunity affords:


“Acquiesce! Daedalian!

Esoteric and Inundate!

Juxtapose! Leviathan!

Peccadillo and Mitigate!

To the top of this class!

I need a good grade!

Big words make me sound smart;

that’s why my tuition was paid?”


As 5pm approaches and I finally hit send,

I fall to the floor when I think it’s the end.

But, alas! A thought occurs and I soon realize,

my professor wants a hard copy and a part of me dies.


I run to East Pyne with my essay in hand,

and shove it in a mailbox with a gesture quite grand.

It’s 4:59 and I’ve made it out alright;

Happy Dean’s Date to all, and to all a good night!

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1:15 am–Firestone, 4th Floor

It’s getting late, and for many, those page counts are still far away.

seventeen magazine knows just how you feel. That’s why they compiled this clever list of tricks that make your paper longer.

They put it best – “Bookman Old Style > Times New Roman.”

The next suggested article’s a little discouraging – “15 signs you’re a high school freshman.”


1:05 am–U-Store Register 

During a quick snack run (what’s Dean’s Date without Ritz Toasted Chips, after all?), I noticed the U-Store seemed strangely quiet. After not having to wait in line, I chatted with Peter, a long time U-Store employee, as he scanned my items. I asked Peter if it had been an unusually quiet night, expecting him to say yes, but he told me it had been a typically busy night. He said that everyone seemed very stressed and I explained to him why. I asked him what advice he gives to people who are stressed. “There’s no easy way to success,” he told me. “When it gets to the end It only gets harder, so you have to push yourself.”

There is no better time than Dean’s Date to show appreciation and be thankful for all the staff here at the university who keep this place running—staffing libraries, serving us breakfast for dinner, cleaning our dorms—so we can keep on pushing as “the end” approaches.


1:03 am — Holder Howl

Students gathered outside Holder to holler away their sorrows, which lasted approximately 72 seconds (though this video only highlights the first 56). If you couldn’t make it yourself, use this video for a fun scream-along.


12:48 am–Whitman Library

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate how amazingly depressing the Whitman Library is:


Yes, there’s something about this dimly-lit library, which contains no actual books, that just screams “Slytherin’s dungeon.” These students, however, find the lack of any visual distractions (or happiness) to work to their advantage. Way to make the best of a situation, guys!

Press club believes in you.


12:21 am — UPC presents Danielle, Dean, and Abe (D.D.A.) Part 2!

Sorry for the late response, everyone! I got distracted by the breakfast for dinner and pretended that it was the morning after Dean’s Date. But anyway, let’s get back to our friends, shall we?


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Oh, my… I mean… Oh, my! Look at all these students working so hard to finish their Dean’s Date Assignments. What hard-working students! Let’s ask them how they’re all doing:

Danielle – “Usually in the morning, I spend an hour getting ready, including showering, putting on make-up, and choosing the perfect outfit to wear. …I’ve brushed my teeth for one minute and accidentally drank mouthwash.”

Dean – “…Oh, today’s Dean’s Date? I completely forget because I don’t have anything due for Dean’s Date. I’ve been listening to music all day. Because I don’t have any Dean’s Date Assignments. Did I mention I don’t have any assignments due for Dean’s Date?”

Gabe Abe – “A-A-After having my f-f-fifth writing center appointment (today), I’ve decided that I’m going to just pull an all-nighter. So far I’ve had three cups of coffee and one energy drink, so I’m k-k-keeping it pretty chill. The bad thing is that I only taste coffee. I can also taste sound.”

Well, that was definitely… encouraging, right?! Let’s check back on our fabulous group of students in a bit! Good luck studying in the meantime, everyone! Get some rest, too!


12:15am — The River Styx

Does your night seem like an eternity of solitude and futility? Do you feel as though the Gods have targeted you specifically with insurmountable endless tasks? Did you tell your wife to throw your dead naked body into the street and then get pissy at her when she did what you asked her to do? We have just the game for you!

Click here.

Sisyphus failure count: 16. Total essay word count: 0.



12:01 am  Pyne Hall

Eight things we’ve all experienced on Dean’s Date, as told by Orange is the New Black:

1) When you’re trying hard for that tenuous argument:

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2) When you don’t have time for social niceties:

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3) When the U-store cashier judges you for buying only junk food:

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4) When your paper struggles warrant a trip to that cute preceptor’s office:

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5) When a professor emails you with last minute requirements for a paper:

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6) When you plead for an extension:

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7) When people ask you if you’ve started studying for that exam:

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8) When the last paper is DONE:

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11:17 pm — Wilcox Dining Hall

What better way to start the night than to have breakfast all over again? Trick your mind into thinking it’s a new day full of promise by indulging in fruits and french toast. Run over to the dining hall quickly, you have until 11:30!



The critics are raving:

“I’ve been excited for this event all day.”

“I’ve been excited for this event all week.”

“I’ve been excited for this event since breakfast.”



10:53 pm – Nassau Hall

Nassau Hall’s nighttime lighting makes it look like the headquarters to an evil organization. 

I mean, the resemblance is uncanny:


This guy is rumored to occupy the place on Dean’s Date, so get those papers in on time!

Dr. Evil


10:40 pm – East Asian Studies Library

If you’re like me and putting all your eggs in the “Powerball” basket instead of the “school” basket, you’re in luck.

Not only is the jackpot at $1.3 billion, and likely to be the single largest grand prize ever, a Princeton liquor store just sold a winning Mega Millions ticket.

According to, Claridge liquor store at the Princeton Shopping Center sold a winning ticket (worth $5,000) last week.

In the world of complete randomness, those sound to me like good odds.


9:55pm — Baker Hall, Whitman College

For anyone who can’t stop playing Neko Atsume (yes, you, KC)…

(h/t MB ’19)


9:25pm — Miami, Fl

Thanks to the tip-off from SP, I purchased $30 plane tickets to Florida. He was right, it’s a lot warmer here.

Here’s a picture of me on the beach:


For the culturally illiterate among you:


EDIT: Yes, I know it’s dark out at Princeton at 9:25pm. In Miami, the sun never stops shining.

9:15pm — East Asian Library 

While working on my Dean’s Date papers, I’ve been obsessively checking my phone every twenty minutes to make sure that there’s still food in the cat bowl that I left out.

But the food isn’t for any real cats. It’s for these little guys:


I recently downloaded the app “Neko Atsume” which consists entirely of buying and placing objects in a yard and waiting for cute virtual cats to visit. If they’re happy with what you have to offer they give you silver or gold fish, which you then use to buy more random things like a cowboy hat or wooden bath.



You can even name the cats that visit. I’m partial to Walter Benjamin the orange and white tabby who loves chilling with a red ball.


Some of them overindulge sometimes, leaving no more food for the other cats. I named him “dionysus”


And then there’s this cat who obviously understands the pain of a quickly approaching Dean’s Date. Just look at his face.


-KC: “Gotta cat-ch em all”


9:10pm — “It’s nearly Tuesday…”


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9:01pm— Woolworth Music Building


Some Press Club investigative journalism has led us to find the band scheming before it ruins your Dean’s Date . . .


Don’t say we didn’t warn you when they wake you from your blissful slumber atop mountains of books in your Firestone carrel…



8:40pm— UPC presents… Danielle, Dean, and Abe! (D.D.A.)

Feeling a little down on the dumps as you continue to type away on your laptops? Well take a little break and follow the adventures of Danielle, Dean, and Abe as they make their way through this Dean’s Date, too!

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Danielle — The pretty and hard-working perfectionist. She has two essays she’s been working on for the last week, but is still trying to find those perfect conclusions.

Dean — The chill and relaxed student. He has no papers due tomorrow and continues to tell everyone about it. Every five minutes.

Gabe Abe — The typical victim of the dreaded Dean’s Date. He has five essays that are all due tomorrow at 5 pm. And so far he has an outline for one of them. He’s considering drinking some coffee.

These photos were taken this morning, but let’s try checking up on them in an hour! Stay tuned, everyone!


8:11pm — Caffeine paradise? 

Have you had so much coffee that your fingers are twitching inexorably, making that paper-writing business just that much harder?

Too high on caffeine and know you shouldn’t go for that eighth cup of joe, but still craving that coffee aroma?

Never fear — try some dandelion root coffee.


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Dandelion root coffee is a caffeine-free, coffee-tasting tea made from dandelion roots.

Want to know how to make it? Now that you’ve procrastinated enough by reading up to here, you might as well click this link for a delicious dandelion root coffee recipe:


8:07pm—Firestone 2nd floor carrel

Upon my 4th Firestone bathroom break of the day, I discovered that this morning I did not put on underwear but swimsuit bottoms.

I did not realize this until 8 tonight.

Hope everyone’s dean’s date has been more functional than mine.

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7:51pm — Frist

Only took this guy 7 seconds to finish his term paper. How long will it take you?



7:30 pm–Little Hall

It wasn’t always daring to ride big-wheel bicycles. 100 years earlier, they were the norm.

Adding to AW’s research, here are a couple photos that show the change in bikes on campus, due to their inexplicable presence in photos of Princeton’s track team in 1885 and 1892.

For more bizarre photos of Princeton’s nineteenth century sports teams, check out this history on the Internet Archive.

[caption id="attachment_17786" align="aligncenter" width="404"]track team large bike Track team, 1885[/caption] [caption id="attachment_17785" align="aligncenter" width="397"]track team small bike Track team, 1892[/caption]


7:15 pm–Lauritzen Hall

Meanwhile in Whitman, typical B.S.E students Sam Ferguson ’18 and Katie Lim ’18 play video games and laugh at the pain of everyone who has papers due tomorrow.



6:59 pm–The Chairs in Frist 

If you’ve ever felt like you couldn’t accomplish the impossible, then this video should help you realize that anything is possible.

Dean’s Date: Where Amazing Happens

(p.s. I’ve watched this video for a cumulative number of minutes that exceeds the number of minutes I have spent on my paper. Thanks, Steph)


6:54 pm–Pyne

Even though final papers are due in under 24 hours, two aspects of our biology as human beings still need our attention. Don’t worry, this post is about food/drink, not the other one.

A tasty treat that is both cheap and time efficient is Olive’s pumpkin muffin. At $2.50 and maybe 600 calories, this muffin’s moist interior and smooth icing will transform your Dean’s Date. Only three more left, so get going! (Olive’s is open until 8:30 pm.)




6:01 pm–Marquand

One of the perks of Dean’s Date in the 21st century is not having to drop off physical copies of your papers in mailboxes across campus. (Unless you have one of those professors.)

In fact, there are quite a few perks to Dean’s Date in 2016 – let’s take a run through The Daily Princetonian’s archives:

1988: When riding around on an antique bicycle made you a daredevil, not an eccentric. (Actually, should we be jealous of the 80’s?)

Big Wheel

1992: You headed to see Shoeless Joe? Oh golly, me too!

Shoeless Joe

1993: Personal computers have made Dean’s Date much more convenient. Also, less flannel nowadays.


1995: When Minesweeper is still exciting and that dude in the background just can’t hide it.



5:35 pm–Inspired on the third floor of Firestone

Don’t let your papers kick your ask. Kick their asks.

(h/t MW ’16)


5:15 pm–Chancellor Greene

It’s cold again in Princeton – you’ll find that out when you leave the library. It’s 70 degrees in Miami.

Frontier airlines sells flights there for thirty dollars. I do not know how this works, but it’s fun to look at.

frontier florida1

That round trip flight from Trenton is about twenty dollars more than going to NYC. Look out NJ Transit.

Check out my post about the airport from two years ago. Not much has changed there since.


5:05pm–Florence, 1498 Third floor of Firestone 

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Be the spotted cat not that other cat because the other cat is lame and pretty bad at making progress on a treadmill.

Also, welcome back to the treadmill of Dean’s Date, in which you feel like you are possibly making progress on things like life, work, grades, but actually you are just staying in place.

Also, further analysis of this gif has led me to conclude that it is always better to start working on your assignments at the last possible moment, like the spotted cat’s delayed attempt to move forward on the treadmill. The other cat jumps to a really quick start, but then falls behind to the come-from-behind-king Spotted Cat.

Also, stay tuned for some important cat updates from KC ’17.


5:00pm–International Food Coop

The most dreaded 24 hours of this semester are upon us, and there is no turning back. As you all scramble to write more pages than we have hours left, drink as much coffee as you have the strength to brew, and complain to all your friends about your workload (everyone subtly bragging about procrastinating the most)…we want to provide little light in this dark vortex that is Dean’s Date.

We here at University Press Club are preparing to give you constant, up-to-date, solid journalistic reporting during this final 24 hours before 5pm Tuesday: Anything that happens on campus, we’ll be covering it during all hours. If you need distractions, we’ve got videos, memes, gifs–you name it. If you want to know where to find free food, we’ve got your back. Most importantly, if you need to know you’re not alone, we’ll be covering the impossible Dean’s Dates of students all over campus.

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So take a breather, stop muttering to yourself about obscure paper topics you know way too much about, and hunker down for the most important reading you’ll be doing for the next 24 hours:

It’s the Dean’s Date Live Blog.