LIVEBLOG: Dean’s Date, Fall 2012


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5:10 PM – typing, fingers frozen, kettle corn stained.

I believe it was TS Eliot who said, “This is the way [Dean’s Date] ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.”

Thus, our tired and tireless news group has fizzled and popped. Our only solace at the end of this 24-stint is, well, this guy:

Standing in line for a Princeton beanie giveaway.

That said, with over 3,400 views (edit: not counting the 2,400 directed from our homepage* correction for LZ and the Twitterverse), we at The Ink are proud to say that this Dean’s Date has been amazingly fruitful (in the procrastination department).



2:24 PM – Bloomberg Study Lounge

No time for citations? Some pro-tips from the pros (i.e. not me):

1) Type in the name of your article/book to Google Scholar, click the cite button, and voila! Good for MLA, Chicago, APA, etc. Also imports to other citations managers.



1:05 PM – Reddit

“Selling books back like a true college student”:

 File this under Post-Dean’s Date/Finals tips for buyback shipping.


12:36 PM – McGraw, delirious

If only my Dean’s Date essay was half as good as this…



11:39 AM – printing stalled

Yes, EL, still not enough baby things.

“The moment our 5-month-old suddenly realized we had a puppy.”


11:27 AM – printing cluster

VC has pointed out there are not enough babies (human or otherwise) on this blog. Too much Rick Ross and G-Unit and not enough cuteness.

Me as I’m re-reading my draft:

Me trying to climb out of Dean’s Date despair:

Me and copies of my draft in 6 (!!!) hours:


11:20 AM – bed, no shame

THROWBACK UPDATE: Earlier we posted a 2006 video of a group of Princeton students who made the “P-Unit” Generic Rap Song that, with 130,000 Youtube views, seems to have done pretty well for itself. Where are they now?

Turns out, one is running a web metrics firm in Philly. The other is an aerospace engineer. (So yes, they’ve done well for themselves too.)

See? Stuff like this doesn’t have to come back to haunt you.

from PAW, RM’06 and ND’06

h/t Brett Tomlinson, who interviewed Rob Moore and Nate Domingue for the PAW about this song way back when John Kerry was still a thing.


11:02 AM – 4th Floor Lauritzen

Just in case you need some extra motivation to get you through the day, check out this (admittedly low-quality) clip of Princeton’s Dylan Ward of the Men’s Squash Team clinching yesterday’s 5-4 win over Harvard. The Women’s Team similarly won 5-4. To quote Steve Harrington, of the Princeton Men’s Team: “It was one of the best moments of my sports career. I played some of the best squash of my whole life.” Carry this energy with you through to your assignments.


10:37 AM – Witherspoon’s

6.5 hours to go, everyone. Which makes it probably too late for this public service announcement from a friendly politics major getting a caffeine refill, but just in case:

“The deans are actually pretty lenient about giving extensions when you have multiple papers due the same day. I mean, it’s not like they want you taking five exams in a single day, right? The one at my residential college said they hardly get any requests…I wish I’d known that as a freshman.”

ME TOO. Cue flood of fervent pleas for a few more hours.


10:31 AM – Printing Clusters (!)

Because we made it this far with only one baby animal:


7:55 AM – Wilcox

The dining halls are now open for breakfast. Wilcox, in particular, has a wide selection of bagels.


6:50 AM – Butler

Starbucks is open! The sun might be up soon! Life begins anew! It’s a brand new day! Here’s a timeline of what’s hip and happening this morning.

  • 7:00 AM – Frist Food Gallery opens
  • 7:00 AM – PJ’s Pancake House opens
  • 7:30 AM – Dining halls open.
  • 7:45 AM – Chancellor Green Café opens.
  • 8:00 AM – U-Store opens
  • 8:00 AM – Witherspoon’s (in Frist) opens
  • 9:00 AM – C-Store opens

6:20 AM – Somewhere South of Sanity


3:45 AM – Wilson

As we get into the wee hours of the night, my mind starts doing random things. Like making Dean’s Date parodies of Portal (nerd-alert) songs.

Namely the last verse/refrain(s):

Look at us liveblogging
when there’s papers to do
When we look around, it makes us glad we’re with you
I’m gonna need a Wa run
There is Dean’s Date to be done

For the people who are still awake.
And believe us we are still awake.
It’s 4am and we’re still awake.
Hey Prox, you see us and we’re still awake.
Our brains are crying, but we’re still awake.
And when you’re sleeping we’ll be still awake.


STILL AWAKE. (also, craving some cake.)


3:30 AM – Patton

Public Service Announcement – 10 hours to go, so BACK UP YOUR WORK. Dropbox, email papers to yourself, pull out those USB sticks, whatever.


3:14 AM – Rocky Dining Hall

It’s past 3:00. Your coffee and chocolate aren’t helping anymore. Neither is your 5 hour energy. What to do? Play a game!

We recognize the names to all the well-known buildings on campus: Joline Hall, Forbes College, McCosh Hall. But do we know the man (or woman) behind the name whose building we use daily? Unless you’re a Princeton history freak (and not in the tour guide kind of way. I love the backwards walking — real talent), you probably don’t.

So here’s the game! Match each building or residential college with the picture of its namesake. I’ll bet you can’t do it. Oh yes, you just got dared.

Answers will be hidden under Nixon (You can’t miss him, just look for the nose).



Joline Hall. Named after Adrian Joline ’70, the 1800 kind. A lawyer, railroad executive, and author, he graduated from the University while it was still called the College of New Jersey (just for the record, it didn’t became Princeton until 1896). It was donated by his wife, Mary E. L. Joline, after his death.

Rockefeller College. Named after John D. Rockefeller III ’29. A grandson of the original John (Standard Oil) Rockefeller, he had more money than even an ORFE student thinks he’ll make on Wall Street. He was a large philanthropist and was on the University’s board of directors.

Bloomberg Hall. Named after Emma B. Bloomberg ’01. She’s the daughter of the mayor of New York and graduated with a degree in English and a certificate in Medieval Studies.

Forbes College. Named after Malcolm S. Forbes, Jr. ’70. He is the editor-in-chief of Forbes Magazine and has run for the Republican presidential nomination twice. He prefers to be called “Steve.”

McCosh Hall. Named after James McCosh. He was a philosopher and president of the University from 1868-1888. His friends said that he was all around, a very cool guy.

Mathey College. Named after Dean Mathey ’12. Described Alexander Leitch in A Princeton Companion as “one of the most devoted, energetic, and generous supporters of the University in modern times.” He is the Dean in Dean’s Date. Not really, but that would be funny.


2:44 AM – Dod

We did a little more Firestone adventuring before being unceremoniously thrown out for the night. If you go to the third floor and walk all the way to the back, past the African American studies reading room, there’s a narrow staircase leading up into the tower. Go up, past the little-used fourth floor until you can go no higher, and take a closer look at the windowsill. This seems to be Firestone’s designated graffiti zone, and though most of it’s pretty harmless – initials and class years, the symbol for pi, “TOM” inscribed in a winged heart – take a closer look at the lower right corner.

“REDRUM” (h/t EL)

It’s a lonely place this time of night, and come to think of it, a little eerie. Who knows who might be lurking in the labyrinthine stacks, peering between the shelves, lying in wait? Maybe it’s just as well you’ve been sent back home to your cozy dorm study room for the night. Hopefully you managed to snag some of the Frist nachos along the way.


1:55 AM – 2006

Serious throwback here from Princeton students circa ’06, parodying a generic rap song (wait, did I just see twerkin’ at 1:51?! Are you telling me twerkin’ wasn’t invented in 2012?!) :

Next task to find out: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?


1:25 AM – Firestone Balcony Redux

Earlier tonight, we posted some famous writers’ sustenance of choice. Here’s what Hunter S. Thompson needed to get ready to write. Hopefully, your night isn’t too “bumpy.”


Continue reading…

UPDATED: College Facebook (- netID) + = TigerFacebook

UPDATE: The site’s creator made Tiggerstalk as a pre-Frosh.  “I was fed up with College Facebook even before I got to campus,” he said. The creator is yet to have any contact with the school regarding the site. “I have fun with it. Try typing in ‘hottest indian’.”

We’ve caught wind of a site that’s looking to give everyone (university students and beyond) easier access to the information on both College Facebook (thankfully, however, without those glorious mugshots) and Check it out at Without a netID, you can get access to anyone’s email address, Frist mailbox number, etc. Apparently, the site existed under the name of Tiggerstalk for the past year or so.

The site’s FAQ (which mentions the annoying inability of College Facebook to handle first+last name queries…) also lists the following with regard to privacy and creepiness: Isn’t this creepy? Maybe, but know that all the information you find on Tiger Facebook is (or was previously) freely available on the web. Tiger Facebook doesn’t store personal data; it retrieves information and formats it in a readable way.” 

Additionally, the integration doesn’t seem too intrusive; the most I’ve found is that each individual’s entry includes a link that opens up a subsequent search in for said individual’s name.

If you’ve got a problem with the site, tough luck–the FAQ says that “you should work with the university to figure that out.”


21 Questions With… The Anonymous Dean’s Date Poster Maker



Name: The Committee to Motivate Students to Do Dean’s Date Work (CMSDDDW)
Hometown: Grover’s Corners
Major: General
Club and Residential College Affiliation: Club Foot

Are you an animal, mineral, or vegetable?
We are argon-based lifeforms, straddling the boundaries between what is alive and what is merely sentient. So kinda like all three.

Who’s your favorite Princetonian, living or dead, real or fictional?
Goku from Dragon Ball Z. He’s a Princeton alum in many Dragon Ball fanfictions, which we hold as canonical.

What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in Princeton?
One of us once distracted Nancy Malkiel and gulped down several spoonfuls of some clam chowder she was eating.

Why are you posting such intensely fonted posters?
It is inexplicably acceptable at Princeton to procrastinate on papers, then wail and moan on Facebook as you pull an all-nighter and produce some half-assed essays on Dean’s Date Eve. We somehow find a perverse sense of camaraderie in this self-destructive tradition, punctuating it with fanfare and pageantry and silent discos. Our posters are meant to encourage skepticism about a culture in which we all act as if we’re all academic martyrs crucified on the amount of work we have to do, when we nailed ourselves there in the first place. We all have work. We all have time to do it right. It’s hard, but complaining makes it worse. It’s a privilege to have the education we do, one that hundreds of thousands of applicants wanted and were denied. Acting as if Princeton is pulling us through school by our hair disrespects that privilege and lowers the quality of the work that we do. If we saw Dean’s Date work and exams as challenges to be met rather than curses to be endured, we would write better papers, score higher on exams, and live happier, less stressful lives. If inculcating that kind of living takes some aggressive words in Impact font, so be it.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?
Acquire currency and the hatred of the entire Princeton student body.

What is your greatest guilty pleasure?
Snarky answers to journalists’ questions.

Who is “sponsoring” your posters?
Microsoft and Mr. Pibb.

What is your relationship like with the font IMPACT?

What’s hanging above your desk and/or bed?
The last reporter who divulged our identity.

What is your biggest fear?
An unwritten paper. Also, spiders.

What would you do if you were on the Presidential Search Committee?
Install the dictator android ENLIGHTENED DES-BOT and enjoy a thousand years of peace.

Continue reading…

Basshunter to perform at Dean’s Date “Silent Disco”

The USG Social Committee has announced that the electronic artist Basshunter will perform at Princeton on Dean’s Date (this year, January 15). The format of the show, however, will not fit the conventional “rave” experience, as attendees will wear headphones hooked up with a direct stream of the DJ set. No music will be played aloud, creating what’s referred to as a “Silent Disco” in which onlookers can see a group of ravers dancing… in silence. Apparently, the concept was fashioned at the Glastonbury Festival as a workaround for local noise violations. We’ve also received word that the committee is hoping to hold the event outdoors, but there’s no confirmation available as-of-yet.

You can find out more here–the Social Committee has an entertaining trailer up-and-running on their site. Basshunter is best known for such rave tunes as “Now You’re Gone” and “Dota”. Hopefully, he makes for a pretty good Dean’s Date performer.

Princeton’s 2013 In/Out List

Shake off your New Year’s Eve hangover and say hello to 2013… and end-of-break panic. But don’t worry. Although you forgot a semester’s worth of material, breathe easy knowing that UPC’s got you covered on what’s trending in 2013. When your thesis adviser starts hunting you down or someone mentions “fiscal cliff” again, distract them with Snapchat and conspiracy theories on why Shirley T is really leaving. You’re welcome.

Presidential elections Presidential search
Cornel West Anne-Marie Slaughter
Freshman rush Multi-club bicker
Lawnparties Bonfire Cannon Green Bonfire
Save the Dinky Arts and Transit Neighborhood
Princeton Borough and Princeton Township Princeton
Comment wars on the Prince website Bribing people with food to debate professors
Tiger Compliments
Instagram Snapchat
Mic checking Goldman Rebuffing Scalia
Hurricane Sandy A storm of pre-frosh
Steve Carell
New Firestone carrels
Bruce Wayne Jay Gatsby
Shirley T Shirley T’s clone (the product of Shirl’s mol-bio “research”)

Inspired by The List from the Washington Post. 

Have something to add to The List? Leave it in the comments below.