The highlight of tonight’s U-Store run was uncovering the following artifact from the future:
For a mere $3.99, D’Angelo’s offers you a taste of the late 21st century. Their distinctive medley of pasta, roasted peppers, and grilled chicken is prophesied to dominate Summer 2088. Perhaps I’ll enjoy some at my 75th Reunion.
But given the average American lifespan, you might not live to taste it again; this might be your only chance. Go get it before someone sprints out of a white DeLorean to reclaim it, or before that drunk dude haphazardly snags it while staggering past the refrigerated section, oblivious to the 76-year sneak preview he’s been granted.