Princeton in Petraeus’s future?

A scrap of news that seemed to slip through the cracks during our summer coverage: apparently a well-known Princeton alumnus, four-star general and current Director of the CIA David Petraeus, made some casual remarks about running for the position of president of Princeton. When asked about his political aspirations in an interview with The Telegraph in late July (specifically, whether he would consider a 2016 White House run), the Woody Woo grad replied with:

“Yes, I want to run for president,” [Petraeus] replies. “President of Princeton University.”

David Petraeus

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The End of an Era?

You may have noticed some subtle changes around campus recently. The lines in dining halls are growing longer, sushi in Frist is harder to come by, people are becoming less stingy about sharing food. Beds in McCosh are now vacant, and students can once again return freely to the Street without fear of automatic PMC. Talk of the dreaded gastroenteritis that has most likely been plaguing your thoughts and conversations over the last month seems to have died down, and we can begin to recover our regular discussions. And diets.

These apparent returns to normalcy beg the question at the top of everyone’s mind: Have we finally entered a post-Gastro era?

Over 260 students have sought treatment for gastroenteritis at Princeton’s McCosh Health Center since the first cases were identified on January 29. For weeks, the numbers of virus-infected patients grew, eventually crowding McCosh to full-capacity the weekend of February 16, forcing the UHS to send all extra patients, no matter the ailment, directly to the University Medical Center at Princeton.

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But for all the hype it has generated amongst students, it turns out that the gastro hasn’t actually been as bad as the impression we’ve gotten here on campus, at least on a state level. According to the New Jersey Department of Health & Senior Services, the number of outbreaks in New Jersey this year have actually been fairly average. Numbers within the University community, however, have been unparalleled in recent history.

And though the rate of cases on campus now appears to be decreasing, indicating that Princeton may be on its way to gastro-freedom, I wouldn’t let down your guards quite yet. The CDC warns that a victim of the virus can be contagious for two or more weeks after recovery. What’s more, a person is capable of re-infecting himself if he doesn’t exercise proper hygiene, potentially submitting himself to repeated bouts of gastro. The very idea is nauseating.

Is there anything positive to be said of this legendary outbreak? If anything, the gastro debacle has certainly been a wake-up call to the community regarding the particulars of personal hygiene, an apparently highly controversial topic with the Princeton student body.

And, once again, we can thank the U-Store for the ever-present comfort they provide.

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SOCIAL MEDIA ROUND-UP: Cockroach Cellphone Edition

Prince Comments:

On West GS ’80: ‘I’m having a wonderful time … getting arrested.’:

Com ’12 : The Center for African American Studies will soon be posting the new job opening for “prophet-in-residence.”

On Virus linked to restaurants:

it was: Panera.

Princeton FMLs:

Woke up early this morning to prepare for an important interview. Checked my email at the last minute to confirm time; it was last Monday. FML

There’s no such thing as a stupid question, just the stupid people in my lectures who ask questions. FML

My phone alarm went off this morning, and in a sleepy effort to turn it off, I bumped it off the shelf and knocked it under my bed. I reached under to turn it off, but instead of a vibrating BlackBerry I grabbed a cockroach. FML





Also, many have pointed out the recent strange thing that happens when you search for the Princeton English Department on Google:

[caption id="attachment_11978" align="aligncenter" width="515" caption="Because Francis Bacon wasn't causing enough boners."]Because Francis Bacon wasn't causing enough boners.[/caption]

Have something we missed? Throw it in the comments!

Swimming for Credit

[caption id="attachment_11964" align="alignright" width="250" caption="Can you name this fish?"]Can you name this fish?[/caption]

Hey Princeton! Are you drowning in work? Well, at least you’re not actually getting wet—which is not something I can say for everyone. Yesterday, my roommate and 12 other freshmen in FRS 186, Signals, Yardsticks, and Tipping Points of Global Warming and Ocean Environments (this is the seminar with the trip to Bermuda over spring break), took a quiz … underwater. Whattt??

Instead of meeting in Guyot Hall, students filed in to the Dillon Gym pool in their bathing suits where their task was to identify different kinds of fish, such as the queen angelfish and the banded butterflyfish, among others. Thirty-one laminated cards, each of which displayed a picture of a fish, were placed in six-and-a-half-feet deep water. Students swam down to the pictures, quickly scribbled down the fishes’ names and corresponding slide numbers on a whiteboard, and then transferred their final answers to the answer sheet.

After identifying the first 15 fish in one pool, the students ran (or walked—no running by the pool?) to the second pool with the last set of pictures. Done at last, they removed their goggles with triumphant victory and headed to lunch. Bermuda, here they come?

Weekend Arts Roundup: Dead Men, Dance, Drama, and More

407418_10150613199034082_816824081_8859574_347333466_nWelcome back to our Weekend Arts Roundup!  Without further ado, the weekend’s most exciting offerings in the world of the performing arts:
  • If it’s theater you’re craving this weekend, nothing beats Sarah Ruhl’s Dead Man’s Cell Phone, directed by Dan Rattner ’13.  Part mystery, part love story, part surreal voyage through the underworld (you’ve got to see it to believe it), Dead Man has it all, and more–not to mention a bravura lead performance by Sarah Paton ’13. 8pm Thursday-Saturday in Theatre Intime; tickets $8 in Frist or at Intime, student events eligible.  To watch the trailer, click here.
  • Watch great performing arts groups while supporting a great cause by stopping in on This is Princeton, a revue with performances from Chaos Theory, Princeton Opera Company, Umqombothi (African Music Ensemble), eXpressions and Wildcats, BAC: Dance, Highsteppers, and many more. Friday at 8pm in Richardson Auditorium in Alexander Hall. Tickets $5, available in Frist or at the door; all sales go to Healing in Nagasaki, a charity that supports the Japanese Earthquake Relief effort.
  • Need a caffeine-buzz-filled study break tonight?  The Nassau Literary Review is hosting a launch party for its Spring 2012 issue, featuring live music, poetry readings–and free Small World coffee and sweets for the first 200 guests! Free with PUID; Thursday at Small World Coffee in Witherspoon St., 10:30pm.
  • Princeton’s Lewis Center for the Arts opens its 2012 Spring Dance Festival on Friday night in McCarter’s Berlind Theater.  Featuring over 50 students performing works by internationally renowned choreographers, along with four dance premieres, it’s sure to be an unmissable event.  Friday at 8pm; Saturday at 2pm and 8pm; Sunday at 1pm.  Tickets $10 for students and faculty, $15 for general admission; student events eligible.
  • Nothing helps with overcoming the third-week academic slump quite like a Quipfire! show: Thursday-Saturday at 11pm in Intime, tickets $5.
  • Love Hamlet? Want to score some coolness points in your Shakespeare II precept amidst all the theater snobs?  Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, directed by Patrick Morton ’13, is exactly what the doctor ordered.  Thursday-Saturday in Whitman Theater: Thursday at 8pm, Friday at midnight, and Saturday at 3pm and 8pm. Student tickets $8 at the door or at Frist.

Princeton Offers Zombie Survival Training

Or rather, a well marketed opportunity to become a firefighter:

[caption id="attachment_11953" align="aligncenter" width="309" caption="Volunteer Fire Department, is this the 1870s?"]You can never be too prepared.[/caption]

For those of you who are seriously concerned for your own wellbeing and preparedness in the case of the impending zombie apocalypse, the CDC (yes, that one) has actually made a guide for you on how to survive zombies.

You might also want to consult’s host of zombie-related works:

Knowledge is power, folks.

It’s that time of year…

Post-bicker, still a long way from Houseparties, grinding into week 3 with midterms kind of sort of already looming on the horizon. It’s still winter. We’re still cold. Course shopping is over and now we have to, like, seriously work.

But as much of a drag as the next few weeks may be, it’s okay! Not only are we coming back with more frequent blog posts to serve your procrastin-tertainment needs, but sophomore Terrans will also be brightening up your February with offerings all around campus. For the uninitiated, new members of Terrace have to perform tasks in varying degrees of shamelessness, usually in public, before they become full members. That probably explains any peculiar events you’ve been running into on campus. Like, the single ladies dance outside Glee Club rehearsal:

Or Gandalf blocking the Fitzrandolph Gates:

So chin up, Princeton! Spring will be here soon. In the meantime, we still have Beyoncé, the Ink, spouts of Terran miscellany, and of course, our Thursday and Saturday nights. Keep carrying on.

Occupy Princeton Supports TigerTransit Drivers in Unionization Debate

Image source:

Image source:

“Where’s Al?” has been the refrain of the day within the Occupy Princeton movement. Al has driven a TigerTransit bus for almost three years, and was suspended for two days without pay by FirstTransit, which runs the bus system, for running a yellow light. Occupy, however, pointed out that Al had been organizing a vote on whether to unionize his fellow TigerTransit drivers. In an e-mail sent to Occupy members last night, Vahid Brown urged students to take action:

He was told his suspension was for “running a yellow light.” In fact, though, FirstTransit management are well aware of Al’s role in seeking to organize the union and have told other drivers as much in their ongoing efforts to intimidate drivers and discourage them from exercising their legally-protected right to vote on the formation of a union. This retaliation is unacceptable, but we can mobilize to make a difference.

Occupy Princeton leaders went on to encourage students to get in touch with Kim Jackson, Princeton’s director of parking and transportation, and Steven Skoler, general manager of FirstTransit, in order to communicate their support for TigerTransit drivers. According to Brown, over fifty people did so.

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Evaluating the course evaluations

We’re about a week into classes, which means some of you are probably considering whether or not to drop out of that fourth, fifth, or sixth course. And based on last semester’s course evaluations (available now on SCORE), odds are I can bet what those courses are—or at least, what department they may be in.

Comparing the aggregates for both quality of course and quality of lecture, it becomes pretty clear which students are truly enjoying their college years and which are reluctantly trudging through the mire. Coming dead last in both categories, for example, was the Economics department, registering a very questionable 3.3 (on a 5.0 scale) for both metrics.

Course value vs. department

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Dancers Talking Sh#t

Awkward and selective censorship

Awkward and selective censorship


This shit was going to happen eventually. Add it to the list of national trends trickling on to this campus (see Occupy Wall Street). On January 17th, BodyHype unleashed its own spin on “Shit girls say,” a YouTube phenomenon where in dudes in drag make videos saying, well, shit girls would say. Most would agree that “Shit Princeton Kids Say!” – a slightly less gendered adaptation of the original – does a pretty good job, hitting all the major tenets of campus life. At the moment of this post, it’s closing in on 15,000 views.

Depending on how closely we look at it, it can tell us a lot about ourselves, namely that no matter what social boundaries divide Princeton students, at the end of the day we can all bond over our common future careers in finance. Have a look at the video and a thoughtful analysis after the jump.

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HEY PRINCETON: Bicker Decisions Eve Edition

Apparently tonight is a big night. Or something.

HEY TOWER BICKEREE! How do you feel the night before decisions?


Care to elaborate?



Girl 1: We aren’t using the ‘b’ word tonight.

Are you two roommates?

Girl 1 and 2: Yup.

But you’re bickering separate clubs?

Girl 1: Cap.

Girl 2: Tower.

So, how are you feeling tonight?

Girl 1: We’re not talking about it.

Girl 2: Like I honestly want to vomit. You can quote me on that.

HEY SHIRTLESS GUY WHO’S BICKERING CAP! What are you planning to do tonight?

Oh you know, just hanging out with friends. Hey, would you like a mango bubble tea?

Sure! Thanks, man. Wait, what’s the stereotype about Cap?

Chill, you know, lots of broham…

Broham. Got it.