Lawnparties 2011: A User’s Guide

O, Lawnparties. For the Street-going masses, it’s been something of a marathon weekend, but provided you get to Sunday in one piece (and with liver intact), you’ll enjoy some solid tunes on Prospect Avenue. You’ve got your usual slew of heinous cover bands, but there are also few gems. Here are the acts to keep an eye on.

Here is the first Google result for Lawnparties.

Here is the first Google result for "Lawnparties"

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Dean Malkiel Eats Her Cake

If this photo’s any indication, it looks like even Dean Malkiel is ready to kick back, eat, drink and be merry this weekend. Pictured here at Dean’s Bake–happening now!–Malkiel was quick to remind the audience that even if she loved all three finalist cakes, she would be awarding only one first place prize. Swing by Frist now to find out who took home the title–and maybe even snag some leftover slices.

IMG_2518 more photos after the jump….

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Lawnparties Playlist: Wiz Khalifa x Big K.R.I.T.

Wiz Khalifa (via

We know you’re more preoccupied right now with either (1) resting up before the sheer length and intensity of this House- and Lawnparties-filled weekend or (2) going bonkers about whether or not someone is wearing the same dress as you (!!!).

While you’re gearing up, though, here at The Ink we figured we’d catch you up to speed with some of the musical acts for this weekend. First up, we decided to spotlight Lawnparties’ headliners, because Yaro & Co. absolutely killed it this year and brought a pair of rap’s up-and-coming stars for the bright, sunny, and much-venerated prep-fest of day-drinking and carousing. (And seriously, what is up with Princeton attracting such fresh rap talent? El-P, Jedi Mind Tricks, Ghostface Killah kind-of, Das Racist, and now Wiz Khalifa and Big K.R.I.T.? Are we the hippest Ivy?)

First, I have to admit I was really surprised but even more excited to hear opener and Mississippi native Big K.R.I.T. would be joining Wiz on stage this Sunday. His career’s been on the up-and-up since releasing his debut mixtape K.R.I.T. Wuz Here this time last year, and the press has been buzzing with his name. You can download his newest (and seriously great) mixtape Return of 4eva free/legally here.

And the music? If you’re at all a fan of Southern rap kings UGK, Atlanta duo Outkast, or even up-and-coming Curren$y, you’ll find something to love in K.R.I.T.’s deep South, country-fried sound. Check out “Country Shit,” a straight banger from K.R.I.T.’s first mixtape that hit so hard Southern veterans Ludacris and Bun B decided to hop on the beat for a remix.

Intrigued? Check out “Sookie Now” — if this doesn’t have you bobbing your head and smiling, reconsider your Lawnparties schedule.

If you’re feeling this, check out “Glass House” for a smoother cut featuring Curren$y and Khalifa, and “Return of 4eva” for a heavier selection that’ll keep up the Lawnparties pace.

Moving on to the headliner himself, though, Wiz Khalifa‘s been something of a one-huge-hit wonder with his smash “Black and Yellow,” but trust me, there’s way more to be excited about for this Sunday. A look at some of his best cuts after the jump.

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Weekend Arts Roundup: Lils, Laughs, Libretti–and Lawnparties!

cv11mainhedT-minus 24 hours until blessed freedom is upon us!  Or at least until we get to take a brief breather, enjoy some relatively normal springtime weather (knock on wood!), and savor all the Lawnparties revelry before buckling down for the final push come Monday.  We’ll have a more extensive Lawnparties breakdown soon (stay tuned!), but until then there are a ton of exciting ways to kick back with the arts this weekend.  You’ve earned it!

  • An oldie but a goodie–Communiversity, Princeton’s annual town-gown spring festival, strikes again on Saturday, and the picture-perfect weather forecast means it’s bound to be a happening scene. With five stages’ worth of music and performance groups, from a cappella to jazz to flamenco dancing, there’s something for everyone.  Come mingle with the townies, eat great food, and savor some time outside the bubble!  Noon to 5pm on Saturday in downtown Princeton (click here for more detailed descriptions of some of the weekend’s events).
  • ppf11-logo340If it’s a cappella you’re craving, look no further than the Lils’s 40th anniversary Jam at 8pm tonight at Richardson Auditorium in Alexander Hall, featuring a guest performance from the Nassoons.  Tickets $8 for students. The Jam will also focus on the legacy of women here at Princeton to kick off the weekend’s She Roars festival (which is hosting the likes of Sheryl WuDunn ’88 and Sonia Sotomayor ’76!).  You can read the full lecture schedule here: it’s a star-studded list of events, and many allow walk-in guests!
  • The University’s also hosting its second annual Princeton Poetry Festival this weekend.  Organized by New Yorker poetry editor (and Lewis Center director) Paul Muldoon, the Festival has a killer lineup of readers.  There’s nothing more soothing or exhilarating than having someone read to you–especially when that someone happens to be a poetry legend like Sharon Olds or Mark Doty. Drop in as you wish at Richardson Auditorium, even for a brief while: don’t miss it!  Click here for the full schedule.
  • If pure laughs are more your thing, nothing goes better with the craziness of houseparties than the killer wit of Quipfire!, which will be doing 10pm shows Thursday-Saturday in Theatre Intime. Tickets are $6, and they’re bound to sell out (be ready for some serious drunken revelry!), so buy yours ahead of time in Frist.
  • The newly-formed Princeton Opera Company is presenting Love, Laughter and Libretto, a free concert of opera scenes from Mozart to Bernstein, at 2pm on Saturday in the Rocky Common Room–a perfect break from Communiversity or a compliment to a late brunch.

Campus Flashers … or Mountain Lions?

Spotted: The next Christopher Walken look-alike lurker.

Spotted: The next Christopher Walken lookalike lurker.

Is it just me, or is Princeton the campus of choice for strange lurers and public wankers?

From today’s Campus Safety Alert:

A graduate student reported late last evening that a man exposed himself while she was running on the tow path between Harrison Street and Washington Road at about 5 p.m. Wednesday, April 27, 2011.

Maybe we’re the only school that takes public indecency as a serious campus-wide safety threat. But here’s something else I noticed about the “crime prevention tips” section of Public Safety’s emails (thanks LW ’14):

  • When running in isolated areas, run with a friend.
  • Stay alert and tuned in to your surroundings. Be aware and prepared.
  • Stand tall and walk confidently; do not show fear.
  • Trust your instincts, and if you do not feel comfortable in a place or situation, leave.

Wait, are we dealing with flashers or mountain lions? (Seriously, compare the list of Mountain Lion Safety Tips to Public Safety’s. The resemblance is uncanny.)

Some additional safety tips substituting the word “cougar” with “creeper” after the jump.

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21 Questions With … John Pardon ’11


[and check out our previous 21Q with SALUTATORIAN VERONICA SHI ’11]

pictureName: John Pardon
Age: 21
Major: Mathematics
Hometown: Chapel Hill, NC
Eating Club/Residential College/Affiliation: Butler College

What was your initial reaction when you found out?
Well, after getting the email asking me to Dean Fowler’s office, it took some time to actually walk over there, so by the time I arrived, I had pretty much figured out that I’d won something.  It was still pretty surprising when she told me I was valedictorian.

Who’s your favorite Princetonian, living or dead, real or fictional?
Probably John Nash *50.

What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in Princeton?
On campus: certainly the Great Chefs of Chicago dinner in the dining halls during freshman year.  Off campus: Mediterra.  I went there at the expense of an electronic trading firm, GETCO.  I’ve gotten lots of subsequent invitations to go to similar such dinners, but I always find it awkward to attend because I don’t actually think I want to go work at a place like that, so I haven’t gone to any more of them.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?
There are the usual tasks, homework, etc.  But otherwise, I run, practice cello, and read math papers.

What is your greatest guilty pleasure?
The Sci-Fi channel, though recently I’ve only had the chance to watch it when I’m at home on break.

Could you briefly describe your thesis?
It’s in topology, specifically knot theory.  I wrote about a new link “concordance” invariant.

Do you know all the words to Old Nassau?
No (and I feel like I’m the only one too!  When do they teach everyone these things???)

What is your biggest fear?
Going blind.

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Chords for Clunkers

Friar, a fender-bowing prodigy.

Friar, a fender-bowing prodigy.

Thought Techno Jeep exhausted the musical possibilities of junk cars? Think again. Sean Friar ’GS, a Ph.D. candidate in music, was recently named the youngest American Academy Prix de Rome winner in 25 years and will spend eleven months in Rome expanding his winning composition, “Clunker Concerto: A Junk Car Percussion Quartet Concerto.”

Yes, you read that right: junk car percussion quartet, backed up by a chamber orchestra. Friar went to junkyards harvesting scrap metal with promising musical possibilities, then analyzed their tones and sound textures with a computer to see where they might fit into his magnum opus.

He’s performed Clunker Concerto at Carnegie Hall, which must have been an unexpected sight and sound for patrons used to your standard Mozart and Bach. But really, when you think about it, why does it make any more sense to jam on a tuba than a hubcap or fender?

See Friar and the fender in action in the video below, or listen on Friar’s website.

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IN PRINT: Princeton on the Radio

“Wait, we have our own student-run radio station?”  Lindsey-Paige McCloy ’12 gets that question a lot.

The answer? Actually, yeah, we do. Tune your radio dial (if you still own one) to WPRB (103.3 FM) and you may hear that guy in your precept reading the local headlines.

WPRB began broadcasting over 60 years ago from the radiator pipes in this guy‘s dorm room in Holder. Now their multi-room station is located in the basement of Bloomberg, equipped with turntables, LP archives, and a broadcast center. This unique operation is completely student-run and not affiliated with the University, with McCloy as their station manager and James Corran ’13 as the program director.

With music, news, sports, and DJs from on and off-campus, WPRB’s broadcasts can be heard from New York to Philadelphia.

Check out a UPC original behind-the-scenes look at their studio:

Read more about WPRB at

The Heaven Test

After yesterday’s gluttonous shenanigans, are you beginning to question the likelihood of you hanging with Jesus in the afterlife?

Well, wonder no more.

Yesterday afternoon, Chuck–a deacon for many years–stood on Nassau Street between Witherspoon and Washington, giving out free “Heaven Tests.”  Intrigued?

[caption id="attachment_10350" align="alignright" width="250" caption="...are you?"]So, are you?[/caption]

So was I.

Here is the conversation that I had with Chuck.

L: Hi!  Am I going to Heaven?

C: Well, you have to take the Heaven Test.

L: What is the Heaven Test?

C: It’s just a two question test.  The first question is: If you were to die today, are you 100% sure that you are a true follower of Christ?  The second question is: why do you think so?

L: What if you’re not 100% sure?

C: We’ve all messed up millions of times. The 10 Commandments show that nobody’s perfect.

L: True life.  So, why are you in Princeton?

C: Well, if I stood on a street corner in my hometown, you could shoot a bullet and not hit anybody.  It’s very isolated.

L: Oh, so hitting the heavy traffic on a nice day.  I hear ya.

C: Yep.  I was also at Rutgers the other day.  They stole three of our signs.

And so our conversation went on, through Ezekiel, Isaiah and some other interesting-sounding books of the Bible, and then I was saying goodbye.  I was still kind of confused, though, about my Heaven prospects (I’m Jewish so I’m technically not a follower of Christ, but he didn’t say explicitly “No Laurens Allowed in the Heaven Club!”) Hm.

So, AM I going to Heaven?  I dunno.  But maybe the Princeton Psychic will.

Reminding You That Reunions Are Ever-Approaching

[caption id="attachment_10369" align="alignleft" width="250" caption="Reunions 2002: Keg Bed"]Reunions 2002: Keg Bed[/caption]

Like an atom bomb or the end of the world or the Macy’s Day Parade. Whether or not you knew it, Reunions (i.e. “the perennial Ivy League blowout kegger” referred to in a GQ exposé last year) are coming. Can’t you hear it — the pitter-patter of hundreds of alumni footsteps, canes and wheelchairs, the slurping from special edition beer cans, the loudness of Reunions’ token wardrobe?

Maybe not. Or, at least not yet, with Houseparties a few days away and all. But rest assured, the countdown has begun at, which gives an up-to-the-second reminder of the time between now and when the May-hem begins.

[caption id="attachment_10365" align="alignleft" width="515" caption="This screenshot will become increasingly less relevant over time."]This screen shot will become increasingly less relevant over time.[/caption]

Personally, the design of the site seems all too familiar.  That font and the angular, borderless orange rectangle schema are symbols of official University webpage underdesign. I’m talking about those sites only seen momentarily in the deepest stages of room draw. Also, how did we get the web address? Not that it’s the most desireable web address (certainly not as desireable as, the homepage of PJ’s Pancake House), but the page doesn’t even mention the University.

Anyhow, Reunions are all about bold moves and in the Orange Bubble, no other reunions (lowercase) exist.  Just ask the folks over at, who call it “an experiment focused on age and agelessness, immaturity and maturation.”

Best Class Government Application EVER!

If you’ve been following the latest round of USG elections (here’s a refresher if you haven’t), you’ve been waiting with bated breath to find out who will be appointed to fill the vacant 2012 class secretary position. Well, while we don’t know who Lindy & Co. are going to choose, we recently heard about one of the pending applications that put a decidedly different spin on the standard class government operating procedures. This is a real application, submitted to 2012 class officers; the applicant asked that we not use his name. Without further ado … the best class government application EVER!

To: “Lindy Li” lindyli@Princeton.EDU,,

Sent: Sun 24/04/11 12:28 PM

Subject: Fwd: Re: We need a secretary

Secretary Application: ************ 2012

Race: Caucasian

Gender: Male

Here are the questions that we would like you to answer:

1)  Why do you want to get involved in class government?

As a very outgoing and politically involved individual, I have found that my medium of choice, commenting on PrincetonFML and Daily Princetonian articles, can no longer give me the breadth of reach my visionary voice requires. Class government and its mass-email opportunities present a unique opportunity to let everyone know what witty commentary I have to say. Whether it is a simple yet timeless outpouring of “LOLZ” or the more sarcastic and biting “LAWLZ,” the people deserve to know my trifling opinions on the inconsequential news and gossip of Princeton life.

I hope through the extended mass emailing privileges of class government to instigate even more contention between class officers and the incompetent body known as the USG. Dominic Pugliese has done an excellent opening shot, but I believe the vitriol needs to go even further. Why stop at mere pronouncements of the USG’s ineptitude? Personal attacks on members have always proven effective – merely look at the current political climate! Outright lying is the norm of modern American politics – who cares if Yaroshefsky isn’t actually the love child of a midget and a capybara? If you tell it to the masses, some will believe, regardless of any “fact checking” or “correcting” that occurs after it has been said. You may even apologize for wrongfully accusing him of embezzling USG funds to invest in his chain of wee-man designer outfits, but the question will remain “Where did he get the money to design all of those tiny people suits?”

2)  Why are you interested in the secretarial position specifically? (“It’s the only open position in the senior class government” is a perfectly reasonable answer.)

I have always considered myself a natural candidate for the secretary position. While I firmly believe that occupations are very much gender oriented and that a secretary is as female a role as nurse or sandwich artisan, I understand that the modern progressive times call for new ways of looking at the world. With this in mind, I would propose referring to me instead as the “2012 Chief of Notetaking and Logistics.” Adding “Chief” to any position of course denotes the masculinity and power appropriate to the position. The name change would entail the creation of an underbody to serve said Chief of Notetaking and Logistics, specifically several aids and a woman to act as my secretary.

More original ideas, including a push to change Dean Dunne’s name to “Count Chocula,” after the jump!

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Newman’s Day 2011: Still Happened

By the grace of the calendar gods, my Princeton Preview weekend happened to include April 24th, the holiday known as Newman’s Day. When I was just a wee prefrosh I watched my host’s roommate scrawl a Sharpie tally on his forearm for every beer he drank, hoping to get to two dozen by the day’s end, as per that (apocryphal) Paul Newman quote: “24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”

So this Sunday was the third time I witnessed (though not observed) this annual Princeton tradition. And despite the ideal weather conditions, it seemed a bit quieter than usual. I heard murmurings on the listservs, saw a spattering of Newman’s Day tanks, read a couple of amusing Facebook statuses. But no one staggering around visibly drunk, and no one sporting more than a modest few notches on the arm. Why so tame?

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="213" caption="Beast: now served in pleasantly colored eggs"][/caption]

1. Could’ve just been the unfortunate pairing of holidays — it was Easter, so maybe the resurrection of Christ cast a pall over the beer-funneling fun? Nope, that just forced people to find creative ways to combine the two festivities: at Tower, members hunted down Easter eggs with jello shots inside.

2. Or perhaps people realized that Newman himself was “disturbed” by the holiday in his name? Or they deemed the celebration of excess a bit distasteful in light of his son’s 1978 drug overdose, and had second thoughts right as they were about to shotgun that can of Coors Light? This seems unlikely.

Just as I was walking to the weekly UPC meeting, thinking that the day had not lived up to its usual standard, I spotted a guy peeing on the walkway outside 1901, barely even trying to conceal the act. Public urination, that proud badge of college inebriation. Though I missed out on the obvious signs, the holiday clearly continues to live on: Paul Newman, you may now resume rolling in your grave.