Have any tips for us? Drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org
5:00 PM — Everywhere
Brian Wilson, after pitching the winning game of the 2010 World Series, expresses all your emotions perfectly in a single sentence.
Congrats guys, another Dean’s Date managed. Now please, for the sake of your sanity, either go to bed or start having fun.
4:47 PM — Underneath the invisibility cloak
Did you see us make it disappear? We thought we’d do Princeton a solid and rid it of one more procrastination tool during the final stretch, so we put the invisibility cloak over the Dean’s Date post. Some may call this a “technical glitch.” Semantics…
If you missed it, keep clicking the refresh button to see if the magic happens again…
4:42 PM — McCosh Courtyard
There is currently an insanely long line for these sweatpants stretching from the mouth of the cathedral to (last I checked) to around Murray-Dodge. Good luck if you’re planning on getting a pair. I just did. They are silky smooth.
4:34 p.m. – Carl A. Fields Center
See you all at McCosh in 30!
4:26 PM — Mile 26
As we head into the final painful stages of sleep deprivation and prolonged mental activity, we can use some tips from others trained to push their bodies to the breaking point—marathon runners. While DCW may insist on a divide between the cool sporty kids and the dorks who wear their allnighter badges like Olympic Gold medals, I maintain that we share some common ground with our athlete friends.
Here’s what Mary Wittenberg, president and chief executive of the New York Road Runners, the group that puts on the ING New York City Marathon, has to say about competitive marathon runners:
“Mental tenacity — and the ability to manage and even thrive on and push through pain — is a key segregator between the mortals and immortals in running,” Ms. Wittenberg said.
You can see it in the saliva-coated faces of the top runners in the New York marathon, Ms. Wittenberg added.
“We have towels at marathon finish to wipe away the spit on the winners’ faces,” she said. “Our creative team sometimes has to airbrush it off race photos that we want to use for ad campaigns.”
If you’re covered in slobber and waiting for your towel at the end of this finish line, you’ve done us proud. Keep kicking.
3:19 PM — Cafe Viv
So I was looking for a little inspiration (for this blog post, not for my actual Dean’s Date papers, mind you – I am an upstanding follower of the honor code, and let’s face it, if you’re still looking for inspiration at this point you have no business being on a blog site. Just kidding, we want you here anyway.) A little poking around the dark recesses of the Internet brought out this gem: EssayGenerator.
Type in any phrase, and it gives you a more or less grammatically correct, albeit very short, essay on the subject of your choice. Fun! Let’s see what it has to say about Dean’s Date…
The beginning is shockingly good – as in, start worrying about the artificial intelligence revolution because this thing reads minds.
“Underestimate dean’s date at your peril.”
“As soon as a child meets dean’s date they are changed.”
“Though I would rather be in bed I will now examine the primary causes of dean’s date.”
Don’t let me get your hopes up, though. It goes downhill pretty fast:
“Let us consider the words of that silver tongued orator, that most brilliant mind Elijah Bootlegger ‘A man must have his cake and eat it in order to justify his actions.’  I argue that his insight into dean’s date provided the inspiration for these great words. To paraphrase, the quote is saying ‘dean’s date wins votes.’ Simple as that.
The question which we must each ask ourselves is, will we allow dean’s date to win our vote?”
It sure doesn’t have my vote…and neither does this essay machine, for that matter.
Two hours – it’s go time.
3:10 PM– Second Floor Frist
As the final hour draws ever closer…
- Still have a bajillion words/pages to write?
- All the nearby print stations are broken?
- Operating on less than .5 hours of sleep?
3:03 pm – Delirium is a funky place
If you’re like me, you’re anal about saving your work. You ‘save as’ your essays multiple times, hoping that the extra copies will ensure that the labor of your love/desperation won’t suddenly get up and disappear.
Sounds good and all, but the problem with this approach is that you get a folder full of papers titled:
‘Yoga in Prisons’
‘Yoga in Prisons, second draft’
‘Yoga in Prisons, updated for reals this time’
‘Deans Date copy’
‘FINAL JRN paper!!!’
‘NO PICK THIS ONE. FINAL FINAL COPY’
‘JRN story HERE LOOK HERE’
Don’t ask me why I don’t use the streamlined system of titling them ‘Draft 1,’ ‘Draft 2,’ and so on. I assume my mind doesn’t think in such ordered terms early Tuesday morning. I like my titles to have Punch. Energy. Pizzazz!
So anyways, here’s what happens. I open ‘FINAL JRN paper!!!’ ready to edit and submit. Shocked to find gaping holes (read: at least 5/18 pages) in essay. Wonder, “OMG, did I fall asleep and not finish the paper like I thought I did? Did I really not finish it? I DELUDED MYSELF into thinking I finished?!?” Panic ensues as I frantically start writing, anything- anything really, to fill up the space.
Twenty minutes later, for some reason, I go through my notes, and revisit my alternate drafts. Realize that ‘FINAL JRN paper!!!’ is not, in fact, the final one. ‘Deans Date copy’ is. Everything is there.
All is well.
2:33 PM — Firestone Trustee Room
Guys, you’re so close! But, I know the last stretch can be grueling. Are you lacking motivation? Let this guy rev you up.
If HE can do it, YOU CAN TOO.
2:30 pm –Back to the hallway with the Turkish Alphabet poster.
So, when professors say that we must include our signature of the Honor code with the electronic copies of our papers, they mean that we can sign in Paint, right?
Here are some of my greater samples.
2:17 PM — The Internet
Like us on Facebook. Don’t pretend like we’re not friends by this point, we’ve been up all night together.
1:33 pm — In my room (uh, still…)
The only workouts I ever manage to squeeze in on Dean’s Date are a few chairside jumping jacks to break up the blood clots in my legs.
Thankfully, a tipster sent in this video from the Princeton Crew Team. It’s a first-person view of some strenuous-looking speed gauntlet, and it’s pretty (vicariously) invigorating.
Sayeth our tipster: “You feel like you’re actually getting dizzy with him in the beginning, and if you go to 1:18, the guy FALLS and skins his hands. I feel like I just exercised.
1:21 p.m. – The minds of LMNT
It was the A-Teens last night, LMNT today. I fear that I will forever be known as the girl-who’s-obsessed-with-teeny-bopper music, but please, this is as good a day as any for flashbacks to my junior high glory days.
I couldn’t find the official music video, but this is so much better. How old are these kids, anyways?
*TRIVIA: LMNT, pronounced “element,” was chosen as a band name because the musicians liked the symbolic meaning. The four basic substances that make up the universe – earth, wind, fire, and water – are completely different, yet coexist in harmony…wait for it…just like the band members themselves!
Gotta love diversity.
1:00 PM — Cafe Viv
Time’s getting pretty tight, but can you spare three seconds? You’re here, so I’m guessing yes.
For extra giggles: Open the video in YouTube and keep pressing ’2.’ Repeat ad nauseam.
Try not to fail as hard this Dean’s Date.
12:55 — Still in bed, still working, still living, still blogging
According to Brian No ’10, while the liveblog post may have 1,250 views, the homepage here at www.universitypressclub.com has over 2,100.
“So, like, wouldn’t it be accurate to say that something along the lines of half the school has read the liveblog?”
I guess so, Brian.
12:47 — A special kind of misery
There goes my incentive: Ghostface has been officially canceled due to “blizzard expectations.” Rescheduled for later this semester, but still, this is probably ranks among one of the worst snow-related occurrences of the past decade, somewhere around the magnitude of this. Also, something in my hallway smells exactly like the burning trash heaps that I have driven by while in Central America. Nothing is good right now.
12:37 pm – My room
Some heavy duty googling of “Dean’s Date” led me to whosdatedwho.com.
I now present to you “Dean’s Dates”:
Winner: James Dean, hands down. (EARTHA KITT!!!! The original Catwoman.)
12:04 pm — Still in bed, but, working!
We’ve hit 1,250 unique visitors to this post this morning. That means approximately 25 percent of undergraduates are reading this liveblog with you.
11:35 AM — Intense Concentration (exceptions made for updating this liveblog)
I just found this on one of my prompts:
Papers should be submitted in the following two-step procedure: e-
mail the paper to your preceptor no later than 3:00 P.M on Tuesday, January 11, 2010; within
the hour drop-off a hard copy of the paper in your preceptor’s mailbox in the Politics
“3:00 p.m.” WHAT? Not 5:00!?
Another friendly reminder for all of you: double-check the deadline for all of your assignments. I, for one, am now going into beastmode to compensate for those 2 hours I just lost.
cause I’m in Beast mode, beast mode
give me those beats I eat those
all day I don’t sleep no
I don’t even know what I got sheets for
Them pillow cases and bed frames oh nah take that, don’t need those
I’m kind of a blur with these words, yes I’m absurd with these verbs
running at a hundred kilometers
pretty soon I’mma leave Earth
Cause I’m in beast mode, just beast mode
everybody know I’m a muthaf-cking impostor, monster
and the energy drink shoulda been my sponsor
YES. LET’S GOOOO.
10:57 AM — Blair Kitchen
What to do with all that snow heading our way? Build a snowman, of course! Campus Recreation is sponsoring a snowman competition, because apparently we have nothing better to do over exam period than get creative with the flurries heading our way.
Seriously, though, who could pass up the opportunity for some wholesome, nostalgic winter fun? The possibilities are endless! For inspiration, check out some of last year’s snowy masterpieces. The only thing stopping me from heading out for some wintertime frolicking right this minute is the Housing Department’s dream-crushing ban on igloos. Nonetheless, I expect some snowy masterpieces to pop up by tomorrow morning, like these guys:
Just keep your fingers crossed that it doesn’t get in the way of your Dean’s Date celebrations. On the other hand, I wonder if a repeat of last year’s snowpocalypse would warrant (dare I say it) another snow day?
10:50 AM– awake
“Hey, what’s that thing I always forget to put on my papers? Oh yeah:”
This paper represents my own work in accordance with University regulations.
Friendly reminder to sign that Honor Code.
9:50 AM– Firestone
This past month has brought some considerable snow to the Northeast. There’s been some fine snow. There’s been some chunks of snow. There’s been some mushy, slushy snow. There’s even been sideways snow. And today, just in time post-Dean’s Date celebrations, we’re gonna get some more. A lot more.
It says here that we’re in for a boatload beginning after 4 pm–anywhere from 6-12 inches.
-Winter storm warning remains in effect from 4 p.m. this afternoon to noon Wednesday
-This storm is forecast to rapidly intensify tonight and Wednesday as it passes our latitude
-The heaviest snow should occur overnight and into Wednesday morning
9:00 AM — 1903
Having just woken up from a long, uh, nap, I’m impressed to come back here and see the steady lucidity but perhaps decreasing coherence of this Liveblog. (Is that too meta?)
At any rate, music’s good. Here’s a Tribe Called Quest cut for the early morning/”oh my God is the sun really coming up” hours — do yourself a favor and settle into the chorus.
8:51 AM – Morgan Porterfield Freeman, Jr is here to rouse the masses!
Mr. Freeman, known for his authoritative demeanor and possession of the original golden voice, has some motivational words of wisdom for you as we head into the morning. Keep in mind that this is a guy who was dead, but then alive; who could tell you more about string theory and space travel than I could; and who is Lucius Fox, Nelson Mandela, and God rolled into one. Plus, he earned a private pilot’s license at age 65.
So yeah, I’d take his advice:
Wise Nugget no. 1: “Man is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance.”
Wise Nugget no 2: “Doing it is not the hard part. The hard part is getting to do it.”
Wise Nugget no 3: “In the harshest place on Earth, … love finds a way.” (Is he talking about Princeton? Actually, penguins in Antarctica, but minor differences, really).
And lastly, Wise Nugget no 4: “In my country, we talk to our women, not drug them with plants.”
This man can do no wrong.
6:20 a.m. — resting in bed, triumphant
DONE with French paper.
At long last, I can claim VICTORY. (Which is more than can be said for the French).
6:02 — The Zone.
Less than 11 hours. Stay strong.
4:58 — Whitman library
Inspired by SJP, here’s a Wordle of this here very liveblog. I guess we’re kinda big on self-reference today.
Feel free to draw your own conclusions. Upsetting observation: even though “time” is pretty sizable in that picture, there seems to be less and less of it every time I check the clock.
4:52 AM — Writing “writing sem” in “writing sem”
I’m currently sitting in the classroom of my writing seminar for which I’m writing my seminar’s assignment.
Nothing but nostalgia, lessons bouncing off the wall, I hope to desecrate the lessons within every single handout to have ever crossed the table of every single WRI 125 class of the past 3-4 months in this ~500 word op-ed.
Thesis Motive Evidence Pith Aphorism Conclusion Introduction
Hargadon Hall G004, I’m currently feeling cozily nuzzled by the plaster of Paris atop your austere, questionably underground, walls.
What is it about this place, this palace of prose, this temple of text, that lured me in? Are you a magnet? Are you a decepticon?
No, you’re a habitat, a home. You’re the eternal resting place of he whose name shall not be spoken… And we’re going to get through this together.
G004, here’s to me, you and Dr. Gordon Harvey (and/or Mr. Feeny of Boy Meets World) riding this one out for as long as it takes.
Princeton, I think we’re all going to be alright.
4:23 AM — My room
World record for typing speed: 216 words/minute
Minutes left until 5 pm: 660
Number of words per double-spaced page: 300
That’s 475.2 pages you could theoretically write by 5 pm. Piece o’ cake.
Unfortunately, the average person only types 19 words per minute when they actually have to compose what they’re writing, not just copy something down.
So really it’s more like (19*660) / 300 = 41.8 pages by 5 pm
See? You still have plenty of time…which means time for another study break! The top 25 songs of 2010, all in 5 minutes of mashup awesomeness. It’s like multitasking, only more fun.
Note: extensive research (read: Wikipedia-ing) went into these very precise calculations.
4:21 AM — Just missed it
Sometimes, I like to pretend as if I weren’t the straight-edge, academically-oriented goody two-shoes that I am.
4:06 AM — Between the lines
If you’re a visual person and would like to feel your way through the words of your papers, here’s a tool that can help. Wordle.net pulls out the words you use most often (omitting common English words like the and and) and produces a graphic illustration of your paper. Just copy/paste the text of your essay and you’ve got yourself a prettier version. It’s also a helpful way to pull out nasty linguistic affectations (“thus” and “essentially” are NEVER okay). Here’s my ENG407 essay in pictured words:
3:54 AM — My Room
Fatigue makes me share-y. Let me tell you about the first time I ever pulled an all nighter.
Fifth grade, Gabe Aliquo’s house, Wilmington, Delaware.
Understand: I will never be as cool as I was in fifth grade. Never.
Not that I was top of the heap. All the coolest kids were sporty, and I was not sporty. In third grade I had to sit out a whole year of gym because doctors decided to put a titanium plate in my chest.
I wasn’t top of the heap, but in fifth grade I could at least hang with the best. The kids who really were at the top thought I was funny, and maybe a little dangerous. One day at lunch the most popular girl at school called me “Dorky David.” I responded by squeezing an orange on her head. That won me respect.
Gabe Aliquo was cool. He was sporty. His dad was a soccer coach. He was having a sleepover, and he wanted to know could I come?
There were a dozen other kids there. We were in Gabe’s basement. There was a big TV with a brand-new DVD player. Practically unheard of at the time. We watched The Matrix. We watched an MTV Making the Video special on “The Real Slim Shady” by Eminem. We watched a puppet-animation version of Animal Farm featuring the vocal talents of Kelsey Grammer as Snowball. I’m not sure why we did that.
It was getting late, and some kids started nodding off. Big mistake. Clay Cowperthwait had brought some cans of shaving cream, and it soon became clear that anyone who went to sleep before Clay did would eventually wake up to a face full of foam.
Still, a few kids couldn’t help it – they were tired! Like I said, big mistake. It was incredible: some of the most popular kids in the grade were falling asleep, getting creamed, getting laughed at.
It was clear to me that in that basement, on that night, the rules were being rewritten. It wasn’t about sporty-not-sporty. It was about: could you stay awake, or not?
I could stay awake – I had to. This was my chance.
A handful of us could, it turned out, sporty-cool and medium-cool alike, all caught up in the giddy rush of making it to sunrise unscathed. Survivors, comrades, brothers.
Maybe I was just sleep deprived, but it felt like it meant something. It felt like we meant something, us wakeful chosen few. It felt like we’d stick together. Stepping out of Gabe Aliquo’s basement and into the light, the day felt extra new.
I never got invited back.
3:31 a.m.– half-consciousness
Emergency response! This is for VC’s last post, but might prove helpful to any of you suffering Word disasters out there:
3:26 a.m.– working in bed
As I’m writing my french essay, Microsoft word just froze on me. Autorecovery was not fast enough.
FML. (Is Princeton FML working yet?)
2:57 AM – my swollen eyeballs
Thinking of leaving your cluster computer for the warm comfort of your bedside laptop? Think again.
2:53 a.m. – Frist. Barely functioning. GAaah;ajkfd;j
Did you know that you can play Snake in a Youtube video?
Open a video. Make sure it starts playing. Hold the left arrow key down for about two seconds, and then press the up arrow key.
IS THIS NOT MAGICAL!?
Stay awake, everyone. We’ve got this.
2:38 AM — my room
If it’s 2:38 am, it must be Sporcle time.
Can you name the names of Princeton Roaring 20 members, class of 06-11? (Claire Abramowitz ’10. Voice like an angel.)
2:18am — Wilson Commons
Animals with the Least Amount of Sleep per Day
Asian Elephant: 3.9 hours
Sheep: 3.8 hours
Donkey: 3.3 hours
Horse: 2.9 hours
Giraffe: 1.9 hours
Princeton Student Before Dean’s Date: ehh….let’s not go there.
2:16 – Campus Club
There’s a bouncer at the door of Campus Club. Like any proper bouncer would, he makes you show him your prox to get in. Campus club is usually locked at this hour, but it’s not tonight. The bouncer says he’s there to keep non-students from coming in and “stealing stuff.” Students, presumably, can steal away. Dibs on the coffeemaker.
2:08 am–Frist Gallery
It’s a Frist feeding frenzy! There were nachos…but not for long.
Keep powering through – 15 hours to go!
1:45 a.m. – Yogi land
While researching my paper on karma yoga, or, yoga designed to serve marginalized populations, I came upon several crazy pictures I’d like to share with you.
Unnatural, I tell you. Unnatural.
1:40 am — Frist, still
It has come to my attention that a majority of the student population is currently suffering from a recognized clinical mental disorder. Yes, my friends, that would be caffeine intoxication, and if you’re reading this now you too are probably suffering from this “acute drug overdose condition.”
- Recently consumed the equivalent of 2-3 cups of brewed coffee?
- Noted the following signs:
- insomnia (you wish)
- muscle twitching
- rambling flow of thought or speech (useful test: do the last couple pages of your paper sound like they were written by this kid?)
Yes, you say? Well, no worries – apparently you’d need to drink about 80 cups in a short period of time for it to be lethal, and all the free coffee on this campus probably wouldn’t get you that far. Probably.
If you’re still looking for a fix, Witherspoon’s is open until 2am, the U-Store until 4am, and Campus Club and the Wa are open all night/morning long!
In other news, PrincetonFML is back!
1:28 am– my room…after the long, cold trudge back from Campus Club
Remember all those e-mails touting an all-night Snack-stravaganza? Well, if you were hoping from some late-night Chik-fil-A, I have some bad news coming for you…
Some Dean’s Date scrooges ruined things for everyone!!!
Check out this e-mail from Campus Club’s Laura Pederson:
“my people tell me the chicken at Campus has been…
some snoops found my backup stash and it got eaten.
just a heads up. there are still snacks and coffee over there though!”
Oh, well…there are still Twizzlers, too. You know, if that’s your thing…
1:25 am — Ladytown
So the Dean’s Date Fairies stopped by…
(video courtesy DJ Judd ’12)
1:22 am — Tucked in
I’m not saying, I’m just saying. Bubble Spinner 2. …Try it.
1:10 am — Frist 207
For the night, this nondescript Frist classroom has been rechristened “Ladytown” by its mostly female occupants.
Most of the time, the room plays host to the normal Dean’s Date going-on. Ladytowners work a little and talk a lot:
“I have 29 pages to write by 3 pm tomorrow…”
“I have not left Frist in the last 22 hours…”
“Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend never got the respect it deserved. She sang it in eight languages!”
And then, a flash of the unusual:
“Why isn’t it 1 am yet? I just wanna dance!”
What happens at 1 am? The same thing that happened at 9 and 10 and 11 pm. The same thing that will happen at 2 and 3 and 4 am.
Every hour on the hour, you see, Ladytown gets down.
“DANCE FUCKERS!!!” shouted a be-hoodied Ladytown denizen. “I’m the enforcer.”
KE$HA’s “Take It Off” blared from the room’s speakers, which were hooked up to a Ladytowner’s laptop.
Girls jumped up on the room’s window-side ledge and began to shimmy with the beat. Others stood on chairs.
“Keep dancing! Keep dancing!”
“Welcome to Laaaadytoooown!!!”
And then, four minutes later, the dancing was done. Back to work.
“I just tweeted five times in one minute. That’s, like, really bad, right?”
1:00 AM- Holder Howl
Were you there? Were you howling? More importantly, did we catch you on camera? Skip to 2:14 for the uproar—but make sure you’ve got the headphones in.
12:56 — Frist gallery, in between my headphones
Hey everyone suffering — this is the proverbial carrot at the end of the stick.
Something like 24 hours from now I will be very sleepy but I will be standing like 15 feet away from this dude so I will be happy. Retreading my way through Ghostface’s back catalog in anticipation of the dope rhymes at Terrace.
12:51 AM — Turtle time
Refocus from Holder Howl –> Study break
How to not deal with moral philosophy,
Obscure book/journal procrastination tactics: TMNT edition
Dear Mom and Dad, I found some real keepers deep in the Firestone crypt. I think I’m getting delirious…
BONUS: At what point does one’s book search converge on procrastination?
12:48 – Frist Classroom
So that guy sitting at the table behind you keeps doing that look-over-their-shoulder-to-give-you-condescending-looks-about-your-productivity thing while you peruse your favorite procrastination sites (ahem)? Never fear! Vanishd is here to fool the snoopers. Just register here for free and your viewing window will be covered by whatever you’re supposed to be doing. Move your mouse around to view the webpage underneath, or move your mouse out of the browser to close it completely.
Procrastination guilt be gone!
12:36am—Some Random Hallway in Frist (is that a poster of the Turkish alphabet?)
I think that it’s baby animal time.
12:30 AM — Robertson Basement
Politics can be a dry subject, if you have to write a 12 page paper on North Korean nuclear capacity, or something. But it doesn’t have to be!
12:20 AM — Just returned from the Holder Howl!
To the owner of the vuvuzela, I say, good form! Brings me back, you know, to the good ol’ days of Poler’s Recess…
What’s that, you ask? What’s Poler’s Recess? It’s the much more awesome version of the Holder Howl from the mid-twentieth century:
In January, 1949, the Daily Princetonian published a letter from an outraged alumnus from the class of 1947, which read: “It has come to my attention that the ancient and honorable custom of the 11:00 p.m. break during finals is no longer observed. …The event was to last exactly ten minutes, during which “all radios, phonographs, pianos, saxophones, trumpets, etc. are to be played at full volume,” “firecrackers to the diameter of three inches are to be set off in strategic areas,” and “all ice-box pans will be emptied and beaten vigorously.”
12:15 AM — Outside Cafe Viv (now closed down for the night!)
Just turned in my paper! Now I can devote my full attention to this here liveblog.
Now, you know that poem that The Prince reruns every year on Dean’s Date Eve?
Twas the night before Dean’s Date and perched on my chair,
I threw up my hands and cried out in despair.
The libr’y was full, not one sound broke the silence,
Until I began my grand act of defiance…
11:44 PM — The darkest corner of Cafe Viv
Fed up with all this Dean’s Date business?
Why not send your friends offers to transfer…to Hogwarts…by Owl Post? (Literally the only way I plan to communicate from now on)
Just click on “Messages” in the toolbar on the bottom of this page Maybe try sending your professors a few Howlers while you’re at it…
And what better way to procrastinate than by planning your Dead Week trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter? That just might be the happiest thought I have going for me right now…EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!
Also, this. –SCV
11:24 PM — Live self-reference
Piggybacking on that last post: transmissions from a Firestone bathroom.
I’d say such scribbling is probably inappropriate in the context of a B Floor stall.
11:16 PM – My room, still (apologies to my roommates: the alarming sounds you hear are all research for
this blog Dean’s Date! I swear)
It’s time for a dance party! Brought to you by our favorite ‘90s Swedish group:
Amit, Marie, Sara, and Dhani really capture my caffeinated situation all too well. Sing along with me now:
“UPSIDE DOWN! Bouncing off the ceiling. Inside OUT! Stranger to this feeling. Got no clue, what I should do-oooh. I’d go crazy if I can’t – ”
If I ‘can’t?’ Oh wait.
There is no can’t.
Only can. And will.
10:56 PM — The familiar
I regretfully inform you that it’s for real this time. The image you are about to see may disturb you.
Be strong. This too shall pass.
10:41 PM — The unthinkable
Mod 3.0 confirms: Princeton FML has crashed.
(Oh, I was about to go get a screenshot of the error message and it’s already up and running again. Apologies for the anticlimax.)
10:35 PM — Tower precept room
Everyone else in this room is sick of me playing music, talking about Britney Spears, and making comments about the terrible florescent lighting as they try to do work. I’m pretty sure the productivity of this room dropped by 100 percent after my arrival. (“You’re like a gremlin!” “Like a Furby you got for Christmas and you thought was going to be fun, but then it’s not!)
Because I’m basically a living embodiment of the Dean’s Date Liveblog.
So anyway, because I told them I’d shut up, I’m expressing all my procrastination-related songs here.
First up, Avril Lavigne’s new single (I know, right? But seriously, it’s so catchy.) (Trust me, it’s better than Britney’s.)
10:22 p.m. – My room
Take whatever out of this you will:
It’s a game of predictive logic! An analogy for your colorful bursts of inspiration! The source of all pleasant elevator music!
Cheery, isn’t it?
10:10pm — Cafe Viv
Yay for motivational posters! Er, demotivational posters. Whether you’re hard at work or enjoying the false sense of security of the pre-midnight hours on Dean’s Date Eve, you might want to stake out your study spot/den of paper-writing misery – there are apparently no more seats in McGraw.
10:00pm– Stalling in my mental Driveway
Inconvenient Songs to Get Stuck in Your Head While Trying to Write a French Essay (ou en français: Ceci n’est pas un papier)
“So gimme that *toot toot*
Lemme give you that *beep beep*
Running her hands through my fro’
Bouncing on 24′ “
You’ve got to hand it to monsieur Kelly. The only way this post could get worse is if I were a 14-year-old girl.
9:46 pm — Frist
Your friendly neighborhood (kind of annoying to be honest sorry) marching band storming through Frist. Few are amused.
9:00 pm — Frist
Are you looking for some serious divine intervention to finish those last…20…pages?
Well, search no more.
On the second floor of Frist outside Witherspoon’s, two guys, a table and an orange-and-black plaid blanket have your back. The Prayer Booth is running from 8:30pm to 11:30pm to cover all of your divinely inclined needs on this Dean’s Date eve.
“We know that it’s a very stressful and hectic time and we want to share peace with people who need it.”
On Dean’s Date, no wonder, the #1 prayer is to finish a paper. As we speak, prayer booth-ers are consulting the heavens to allow unnamed girl in black peacoat to finish thirty more pages by tomorrow evening.
Disclaimer: prayers don’t write papers. People write papers.
8:44 PM — Patton Hall
Reminder for all the dedicated sports fans/procrastinators on campus: the National Championship game between Auburn and Oregon starts now. The game’s streaming live from ESPN3.com. Great timing, BCS!
8:27 PM — B Floor Firestone
Because fruit is crucial to any late night toil. Behold my Dean’s Date Cornucopia, smuggled carefully out of Rocky Mathey:
I think the oranges will be first to go. If each fruit fuels at least one page, I should be in the clear. Also pictured is Andreas Rotenberg ’13, acting here in the role of resident Dean’s Date D-Bag Who Finished His Work Already.
8:13 PM — Frist
Not sure if you noticed this gem on the Princeton homepage already, but there’s a video feature story about “Celebrating Dean’s Date” and the events that are traditionally held in McCosh courtyard at 5 (kettle corn, free stuff, the marching band playing). Did you know?:
The celebration was introduced by Rakesh Satyal of the class of 2002 to bring a little levity to the scene. He enlisted a group of friends to start the first Dean’s Date festivities in 1999. By the time he graduated, the event attracted more than 400 participants.
We can only imagine what the tradition was before that: sprinting to drop papers off, and then making a beeline to the nearest watering hole for numerous libations. But I guess kettle corn ain’t bad, either.
7:26 p.m. — Not in Wilcox, but…
You should get over there, if you have a.) too much stress to handle, and b.) an hour and a half to spare (funny, right?). Wilson’s Monday night Integral Yoga starts in 4 minutes in Wilcox 306. Their website says the class will “provide a natural way of letting go of stress and leading the body and mind into a state of inner peace.” Sounds like what we need.
Alternatively, you could just listen to soothing yoga music online while working. This site lets you create your own relaxation mix (toggle between Creek, Bonfire, Ocean, Cricket, Flute Song, Bird Song, etc)! And this one offers a whole bunch of meditation mixes AND interactive stress-relieving activities!
7:25 p.m. — Post-Dinner Cravings
Decisions: pie or cake? How about both? With three flavors?! (It’s called a cherpumple, as in cherry, pumpkin, and apple pie.)
Get on that, Whitman Dining Services.
6:40 p.m. –Dinner Time
Dean’s Date advice from my Chinese mom: “Please remember, drink plenty of water, have lots of sleep and eat good food.”
Speaking of which! Chicken and waffles at Rocky Mathey dining hall tonight! I don’t know if they’re good, but I’m about to find out.
5:46 p.m. — New Butler Basement
For those of you just starting your first drafts and freaking out about 6,000 words in 24 hours (NOT ME OF COURSE… heh), check out this site: Write Or Die.
Basically, it uses operant conditioning and negative reinforcement to “put the ‘prod’ in productivity!” It’s pretty intuitive – set a word goal and time goal for yourself, then a text box appears. Start writing. If you don’t type anything for a minute or so, you suffer the consequences. Gentle mode is a friendly text box reminder to keep writing. Normal mode starts playing unpleasant noises (e.g. off-tune violin, crying baby, “peanut butter jelly time” song). And Kamikaze Mode starts – I kid you not – ERASING THE WORDS YOU’VE ALREADY WRITTEN. Terrifying? Yes. Effective? You decide.
5:40 p.m. – Mathey Common Room
If you, like me, just caught yourself using the terms ‘freaked out,’ ‘groupie,’ and ‘teeny’ in your essays, perhaps a vocab brush up is in order.
Take it from this guy:
See? Anything can sound sophisticated. Now go beef up that term paper.
5:30 PM — 246 Frist
Memes for Procrastination
Okay, maybe I’m a little behind the times. But I just discovered QWOP, supposedly the hardest and most annoying flash game ever, and now I’m sure that paper’s not getting done until after dinner.
Basically, each letter (Q,W,O,P) controls a different muscle in QWOP the runner’s legs. You have to mash them in tandem until QWOP runs. I challenge you to beat my record of 2.2 meters.
Go on. I dare you.
- – VC
5:20 PM — Campus Club
In tonight’s performance, William A. Saborio will be playing the role of “That Guy Who Has No Work Due On Dean’s Date.” Be sure to boo every time he walks on stage.
As for me, I’m plugging away in Campus Club, fixing all the sleep-deprived sentences I wrote during a recent all-nighter (“The first way that chicken waste differs from fertilizer is that chicken waste is chicken feces.”)
It’s quiet here in Campus. Too quiet. But then, I’ve always found this place to be a little sterile. I think I’ll relocate to Whitman Library. Yes, it feels like a below-ground prison, but that’s not a bad thing — there’s a whole catalog of authors who wrote their best works while incarcerated (Cervantes! de Sade! King!). Could be inspirational.
5:00 PM — C Floor, Firestone Library
Oh, hello there. We here at The Ink have had a tradition for a few semesters, now, of chronicling the final twenty-four hours before that dreaded, yet somewhat relieving, 5 o’clock Tuesday deadline known to Princeton students as “Dean’s Date.” Our GPAs have taken the hit (oh well), but we’re all in this together, right? We all suffer, but hey, at least we don’t suffer alone.
So while you’re burning rectangle-shaped holes into your eyes, swing by and take a breather from all the mental gymnastics/bullshitting you plan to do today. We’ll be updating this post with some news and happenings from around campus, thoughts and comments on this communal descent into insanity, and of course obligatory YouTube clips and photos of kittens that will somehow get you through the night and to that deadline.
And anyway, it’s not procrastination, because, in the long run, if you didn’t take breaks, you wouldn’t be as effective, right? (Or, that’s what we tell ourselves, anyway.)