In case you haven’t noticed — and, to be fair, we haven’t made a formal announcement or anything — April is Excretory Month here at The Ink.

First we clued you in on Forbes’s urine troubles. Then we gave you the scoop on CDY’s ongoing battle with Brown Hall’s phantom pooper. And now?  Take it awaaaaay, WhitmanWire:

Hi Whitman,

I don’t know who, but someone has placed what seems to be used condom in front of my door, knocked once and then left. What? No. That’s bad.

Whoever did this will probably enjoy this SNL clip: http://www.hulu.com/watch/131075/saturday-night-live-new-car-horns

Thanks!
[Redacted]

What scatological scandal will befall us next? Leave your guesses in the comments.

•