CASHMERE! THIS IS CASHMERE! from telegraph.co.uk.

Earlier this year, as USG campaigns raged on and the campus discovered its newest way to procrastinate (Ok, this is before Robot Unicorn Attack.), we realized that, well, Princeton’s needs are humble.

Two-ply. Or even, maybe, softer one ply? I don’t know, I’m just tossing out ideas here.

But why should our demands be so humble? Think of our futures–earlier this week the Daily Princetonian reported that a full third of Princeton students go on to work in finance. (But not for the money–because they’re “genuinely interested!”)

And so today, I introduce to you: cashmere toilet paper. That’s right, future Masters of the Universe. That’s for you.

The supermarket won’t reveal quite how much cashmere goes into each roll, but insists it is a “significant” amount. No cashmere fibres themselves are included in the manufacturing process. Rather, the paper is covered in oil extracted from the hairs of the cashmere goat.

Carla Smith, buyer for Waitrose, said: “Cashmere provides that stamp of quality to any fashion garment from a designer suit to the finest luxury knitwear. It’s indulgent, it’s stylish and it’s helping provide that extra softness to our new premium bathroom tissue collection.”