The Epitome of Man

No, Mr. Newman, it is no coincidence: Drunk kids do stupid things. And on this fine Newman’s Day, let us sober ones enjoy the hijinks. For instance:

4:00 PM, Frist third floor men’s bathroom:

An obviously drunk upperclassman stumbles into the bathroom wearing a backpack from which clinking can be heard. He stands at the urinal and, after a minute, a loud breaking sound pierces the silence.

Looking down, one finds a shattered beer bottle and its contents on the floor.

After around ten seconds of more silence, the drunk student grumbles: “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

(image source: pro.corbis.com)